"AJ." I whispered in the middle of the night. We layed under the cover now dressed in our pajamas.
"What?" AJ mumbled. I barely understood him.
"AJ, can we talk?" AJ rolled over to look at the clock. He moaned when he saw it was 4:30. "Can we?" I asked again.
"Baby, not now." He pulled the sheets over his head. By this time I was wide awake. I propped myself upon my elbow and ran my fingers up and down his chest.
"I've been thinking..." I said. AJ started to fake snore. He got louder when I tried to talk again. "Listen to me." I hit him in the gut and he smiled, keeping his eyes closed. "This is serious, AJ." I changed my tone.
"Go ahead." AJ sighed as he propped himself up also.
"Um...that friend that called me earlier...was actually my mom's agent." I told him.
"Really?" AJ leaned over and turned on the lamp next to the bed.
"Yeah." I pulled him back to face me. "He's offering me a movie deal."
"Well, that's great." AJ concluded.
"Um, yeah, it is." I looked away from him. "I'll be gone for six months."
"Si...six months?" He stuttered. "Baby, what am I supposed to do while you're gone?"
"What are you supposed to do?" I repeated. For some reason I was getting upset with him. "AJ, you're fixing to leave to go on an eight month tour. So, you have no right to question what you're supposed to do. You have been running off leaving me for months on end for the past three years." I climbed out of the bed. AJ stood too.
"But, Carlon, you've always had the opportunity to come too." He said.
"Oh, so am I supposed to just wait around on you forever? Or...or until there is no more Backstreet Boys?" I threw my arms in the air. "AJ, that is not fair to me."
"Baby, I never said that you couldn't go, or that I didn't want you to go--"
" 'You' never said?" I restated. "AJ, your opinion wouldn't matter anyway. It's my decision."
"Carlon, what the hell is your problem?" AJ yelled. I then realized that I was being way too harsh. I didn't know why though. I loved AJ, and I wake him up in the middle of the night to...to yell at him.
"I don't have a problem." I yelled back.
"Look, Carlon, it's clear to me that this isn't a fight between you and me. It's between you and yourself. So, I'm gonna leave you to figure out your fucked up life." AJ grabbed a pillow from the bed and left the room. His words stung me like a wasp. Although, I deserved every bit of it. AJ and I had never fought once. I looked down at the ring on my finger. I wasn't worthy of it.
I went to the closet and grabbed my suitcase. I threw as many clothes in it as I could after changing into something more appropriate. Then, I walked into the bathroom and raked all of my toiletries and makeup in my overnight bag. I looked at the caller id and wrote down the number Seth had called from. I grabbed my things and trotted downstairs.
AJ was sound asleep on the couch and the rest of the guys were sleeping all over the floor. I headed for the back door but stopped in the kitchen. Tipsy came into the room, his nails clicking on the linolium. I knelt down and picked him up.
"I'll be back." I kissed his nose and sat him
back down. "I
promise." I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek.
I grabbed my
keys, and without thinking I slid the diamond
engagement ring off of my
finger and layed it on the counter. "Goodbye, AJ." I
said under my
breath before walking out the door.
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