"She is not up for talking to you, now leave us alone" Nick slammed down the phone "Dammit why doesn't she listen" Nick realised that it was time to pick up the kids from school so he scribbled a quick note and ran out the door.
Sweet Pea
I am gone to pick up the twins, I am dropping them off at Denise's. See you in a bit.
I love you,
Nick
~~**~~
Kim Ann looked at her watch and tried to hurry along the meeting. Howie and Jessi were having a barbeque and she wanted to go home and get changed before her and Nick headed over there. Things had almost returned to normal. Despite pleas from both the doctor and Nick she had gone right back to work and had been immersing herself in it to avoid thinking about the miscarriage. The twins were upset when they sat them down and told them but they were happy again and were back to their happy selves. Things between her and Nick were comfortable, though not romantic and not half as normal as their relationship was before the miscarriage. She had refused to talk about the engagement and Nick was trying to be patient with her, though it was killing him not to know why.
Kevin was adapting to his new single father role, his mother had moved in with him to watch the children and offer a hand, and Hannah was practically living at Kim Ann and Nicks'. Skylar saw the children almost every weekend, although Hannah refused to see her. Kevin had been igoring her phone calls and was trying his best to be strong for his children.
Howie and Jessi were still trying to conceive, with no luck. They were now discussing adoption.
~~**~~
"Denise I am fed up, it is tearing me apart not to see her wearing the ring. When we make love I know that she is only doing it to make me happy. When she kisses me the spark is gone and she is not as tender as she always was." Nick watched his kids chase Panda and Bear around the yard and then turned his attention to Denise. "Everyone tells me to be patient but you don;t understand how hard it is to sit day after day asking what you did wrong, what made the woman I love tell me should couldn't and wouldn't marry me"
"Nicky I don't have an answer for you. Maybe she is just frightned and this is her way of taking control. Maybe she is suffering and wants you to suffer as much as she is..Hun I don't know, you need to sit down and force her to talk to you about it." Denise hugged the young man. "Just be prepared, because what she might tell you is something you might not want to hear"
~~**~~
Daddy I miss her. I miss her smile, the way her eyes twinkled when she got excited but mostly I miss the way no matter where we were, or what we were doing her hand would find a way to touch my face.
The children are miserable without her and I must admit so am I. I have dreamed all my life for her and when I finally found her I couldn't make her happy. She had to find another man to fill the desires that I should have filled. I failed as a husband and now I am left asking how do I get her back?
Dad I cannot imagine going on in life without her. I knew the minute that I stumbled upon her letters that she was my soul mate. I have lived 10 years with her in my life and I don't want to live another minute without her.
We always lived our lives knowing that every minute we spent together was a gift and that we would cherish each smile, each laugh and each kiss we shared. We have been given a lifetime to spend together and we are cutting it short. I am so filled with hatred. She cheated our love and she threw it to the ravages of the harsh wind. Instead of soothing it she cast it aside. My mind tells me that I cannot forgive her, that I have a right to be mad but my heart is telling me that it is my fault. That if only I had given up the one thing that could have saved our love. She always told me that she was afriad of being left alone, and I left her alone. I went out into the world and left her and our children alone, with no husband or father to protect them. Nick made a stand that night in the hospital. He told the media that he wanted his life back, that he wanted to spend every minute with his family, making them happy and being the perfect husband and father. He gave up the one constant thing in his life, the one thing that brought him happiness and the one thing that was his life. He gave up music to be with Kymmi and the kids and I admire him for it.
I want to punish her, I want Skylar to know the pain she caused me but daddy I can't lie to my heart. She is the only thing that makes me happy, she is the only reason that I am a father of beautiful children and she is the reason that I get up and breathe every morning.
I cannot lie to my heart anymore. I love her and I need her."
Kevin kissed his father's tombstone and stood up, brushing the dirt off of
his pants. "I Miss you dad" and he walked away.
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