Kevin heard his cell ringing and reached for it half asleep. He crept into the hallway as not to wake Skylar and leaned against the wall listening to the tearful voice confess her love. "God Kim Ann how are we going to do this?" Kevin pressed one to listen to the message again.
~~**~~
Denise opened the door, knowing that on the other side was one of her "children". "Kymmi, oh my god sweets what's wrong?" Denise ushered Kim Ann into the house and looked at her. Her hair was disheveled and she was dressed in her maternity pajamas. "Hun what is it?"
"Denise you will hate me when I tell you this but I need to tell someone. I have spent the last 30 minutes sitting in the parking lot of the cemetary talking to Molly and AJ and begging them to understand and not hate me." Kim Ann burst into tears and buried her head in her sweater that she held.
"Sweets it cannot be that bad, are you having second thoughts about you and Nick, hun it is understandable that you would be scared. You have been through a lot and let's not forget my little neice or nephew in there is causing your hormones to go beserk." Denise tucked the curly hair behind Kim Ann's ears "What is it hun, what has got so distraught?"
"I am in love with Kevin" Kim Ann saw the shocked expression on Denise's face and burst out into tears. "You think I am a slut too, you think I am evil, you hate me for hurting Nick"
Denise tilted Kim Ann's head and stared into her bloodshot eyes "My love, oh god how I love you all. I have watched you go from denying your love of Nick, to falling in love with him and having those angels. Honey trust me when I tell you that love happens when you least expect it. Kim Ann I have seen you and Kevin build an extremly close and loving friendship, you two understand each other like noone else can. Who did Kevin turn to first when he and Skylar fought, who did he call first when he missed her on the road. Hun he called you. I have seen the little looks at the concerts, I have seen the hugs that were just a little more tighter then everyone else's and I have seen the joy on his face when you smile at him."
"I am evil. How can I fall in love with my boyfriend's best friend? How can I tell the twins that mommy loves their uncle. What will the media and fans think? Denise I can't. I finally have what I have craved for all my life. A man who adores me, two children who are the greatest gift I have been given and friends who I would die without. How can I risk all of that? How can I shake up the happy existence we all now know. All of us are happy again. NIck and I are together, Sky and Kevin are together, Bri and Leighanne are happy and Howie and Jessi are about to have their dream come true. How can I ruin all this for a whim. What happens if we are confused. What happens if we are wrong. Then we have ruined all those lives."
"The one thing I instilled in Alex was to always follow his heart. To never second guess his heart and to never put off something because of fear. It was ulitmatly that advice that took him from me but I am proud that he truly did follow his heart. Babygirl you need to be true to your heart. You spend so much time making the twins and Nick happy, you are about to fulfill Howie and Jessi's desires, but where does that leave you? You spend so much time keeping everyone together and happy that you are cheating your heart." Denise brought the woman to her chest and hugged her tight.
~~**~~
( 2 days later)
"Kim Ann, Howie, Jessi, we have a slight concern. The baby's blood pressure is elevated."
"What does that mean?" Howie asked worried.
"It could just be that all the stress Kim Ann is under is affecting the baby, but her amniotic fluid is also of some concern." The doctor sat down and started to explain.
"You mean I have to stay here? In the hospital? Till the baby is born? Are you crazy?" KIm Ann screamed.
"Kymmi this is not good for the baby" Jessi tried to calm her friend down.
"I have children of my own at home, I have to be with them, they will be lost without me. Howie, Jessi, tell him" Kim Ann begged her friends to reason with the doctor.
"Can't she go home. I mean we can all take care of her. I think she would be more receptive to the idea of complete bed rest if she was in her own bed, in her own house" Howie explained.
"I am sorry. I really think that this is the best for the baby. Whatever is causing Kim Ann so much stress is at home. She will be sheltered from it here."
"2 months.....2 months here. Howie I can't, oh my god I can't" Kim Ann started to cry as Howie wrapped his arms around her and comforted her.
~~**~~
"She is what?" Kevin gripped the phone tightly as Nick explained the newest developments. "how is she Nick? She can't be too thrilled with that idea."
"She is freaking out, and I must say that I am not too happy myself. I mean how can she leave me and the twins like that?"
"Grow up Nick, for christ's sake this is the woman you love, life's we are talking about. Stop worrying about you and the twins. We are all here to help you. Think about how worried and upset she is about having to be stuck in a hospital for 2 months, not sleeping in her own bed, not being able to hold the twins while they sleep, read them bedtime stories. Jesus sometimes you are an inconsiderate bastard. Poor Nicky might actually have to be a father. Might have to start having responsibilites for his family. Kim Ann won't be there to pay the bills, make the lunches or keep track of your schedule. Jesus Nick" Kevin slammed down the phone and called Brian and asked him to meet him for coffee.
"Skylar it's Kevin, I know by now you know about Kim Ann, I have some things to go over with Brian but I should be there in about an hour.Please tell Kim Ann I will be there" Kevin left the message on his wife's cell phone and left to meet Brian.
~~**~~
"You found what?" Brian almost choked on his coffee when he heard his cousin.
"I found a hotel room key in her purse. Why would she need a hotel when we live in Orlando?"
"Do you honestly think that she is cheating again. My god Kev she was devestated when you kicked her out. She seems so happy being back with you and the kids." Brian could not relate to what his cousin was experiencing. He knew the moment that he and Leighanne spoke that they would be together forever. Every night they fell asleep in each other's arms and every morning they woke up and made love. They were so in love and they knew they always would be.
"I found something else" Kevin handed Brian a journal.
He watched as Brian read the confession.
"I look back at the journal entries and the emails that brought Kevin and I together. We were both so lonely, so willing to fall in love. We both wanted eternal happiness and someone to love us. I was in love with Kevin, I was in love with the man who wrote such beautiful words, in love with the man who surprised me with romantic getaways and the man who couldn't wait to take me in his arms and kiss me. We were so happy, when did it all change? What made our love die out?
I remember the first time I met Spencer, he reminded me so much of Kevin. So full of love, romance and ready to give me the world. He gave me the love that Kevin could't give me.... constant love.
While Kevin was off travelling the world I was left at home with only the memory of our love. I have come to the conclusion that I can never be happy with Kevin. Yes whenever he smiles at me or whispers my name I am happy but then I am left with the knowledge that it was temporary. I need a full time lover. Someone who won't leave to go on a world tour, someone who won't leave me at home. I want to be by his side, experience the world with him. Alas with the children it is me who has to give up my dreams.
My children are my heart but I resent them. I resent them becasue I was left to wipe their runny noses, I was the one to rock them all night when they had a tummy ache and I was the one who sat through their boring school plays. I resent them becasue the minute Kevin came home they forgot about me and loved him.
I will always love Kevin, I will hold the memories we shared and the magical love affair that was 11 years of my life close to my heart but I know now that we were blinded by the desire to be loved. I wrote once that Kevin and I fell in love in a lifetime where it wasn't meant to be. Our love came a lifetime too soon. The stars sent us each other's prayers too soon. I am torn between the past that I share with the man I loved and the future with the man I love"
"Oh Kevin" Brian touched his cousin's arm "How are you going to handle this?"
"I am not sure Brian, I am not sure"
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