Molly willled the hot water to soothe away her aches and pains as she slipped further into the tub. The tour had just started its third month and the wear and tear had begun to show on Molly. She was working long days and nights and she was severly sleep deprived. Tonight was one of the nights that she prayed for. The guys had two days off in London and this was the first of their free nights. Nick and Brian were gone to eat and then were going to see CHER with the tickets that Molly had gotten for them, Kevin and Skylar, who had flown to London from Ottawa, had rented a car with the intent to see the sights, though AJ joked that the only sites they would see was each others' asses and the colour of the backseat. Denise, AJ's mom had flown in to tour Europe with them and she and AJ had gone to see Miss Saigon. The only person aside from Molly to stay in that evening was Howie, who had caught the flu and was in bed resting.
Molly had just nodded off in the warm water when there was a knock at her door. Molly groaned and wrapped the fluffy white robe that was compliments of the hotel and opened the door. She smiled when she saw Howie's red nose and his pale complexion.
"Oh sure, laugh at the sick one" Howie whined as he covered his mouth to cough.
Molly bit her lip, " I am sorry, I didn't mean to laugh Rudolph, I mean Howie"
Howie smirked "I guess I do look pretty funny, anyway I just wanted to see if you wanted to come back to my room and watch a movie with me. I am going stir crazy and I need some human company"
Molly thought about spending time alone with Howie and before she realised what she was saying she said "Sure, let me get dressed and I will head over"
She shut the door and rested her head on the door. "What the hell am I doing?"
~~**~~
"Oh my God I will never eat apple pie again," Molly was covering her eys and laughing as she and Howie watched American Pie. "That is so gross"
Howie watched her laugh and smiled "She is so pretty.” He and AJ had spoken at length about Molly and they had both come to the conclusion that although she was chubby, she was very attractive and her sense of humor was wicked. The thing that had caught Howie's eye was how caring she was towards the rest of the guys. She never complained when they called her late at night for advice, she took their good natured ribbing and she loved playing jokes as much as they did. It seemed that everytime Howie looked one of the guys was deep in converstaion with her. He could still feel the tension between them and he hoped that with time it would fade.
Molly felt his eyes on her and she smiled "What are you looking at me like that for?" she said softly.
"I am just watching you laugh, I am thinking about how well you fit in with us, damn Molly I have all sorts of things running through my mind" Howie moved closer to the foot of the bed where Molly was sitting cross legged. He pulled the scrunchie that was holding her long hair hostage and he smiled when it tumbled down the middle of her back. He touched his fingers to her face and he saw the red creep into her cheeks as he touched her "Molly you are so beautiful," Howie kissed her eyelids and felt her shudder. Molly's eyes snapped open and she pulled away.
"GOD DAMMIT MOLLY!! What is wrong with you, why do you always pull away, why do you run from me?" Howie asked angrily.
Molly's eyes welled with tears "Howie you have no idea who I am, you cannot possible imagine how much I want to hate you for the hell you have put me through, but I cannot..... these past 3 months have been hell for me..."
"I don't understand...what are you saying?" Howie asked confused.
"They have been hell on me because I am facing the man that I have hated my entire life and I am torn because as much as I want to hate you and punish you for what you have done to me, I cannot. You are not the same man...the man standing before me is the man who I am falling for" Molly ran out of Howie's room and down the hall.
" What the hell have I done, who does she think I am...my God what does she think I have done to her?" Howie was staring at the closed door and replaying the events in his head.
~~**~~
"I am a prisoner of my past, instead of moving forward my heart seems
to be
content in replaying the scenes that have haunted me for years. My heart
and
my mind are in battle with each other, my heart tells me that Howie is
not
the mean boy who tormented me and that I should give in to the feelings
and
give him a chance. My head tells me that people with that mean of a soul
could never change and that once he realises who I am he will resort to
the
cruel and taunting monster that he plays in my memories. Can someone
that
cruel really turn out to be that sweet of a man. Do I take the chance or
do
I continue living my life hating him." Molly closed her journal and
looked
out at the lights that decorated the London skyline.
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