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"What the fuck??? what thoughts are running through yr mind??? are you dressed like that for shock value, or is there a deeper reason..."a cry for help"??? Do you not have a good home...maybe yr parents got divorced...maybe yr mom is letting you get yr _______ pierced so she can get back at yr dad, or vice versa. Why are you wearing a leather and fur coat in the middle of summer? why must you listen to that damn jungle music??? What's the point of having yr ears pierced that many times??? do you not respect yr parents? do they know what you are doing? are you that depressed that you have to wear black everyday? is that what the cool kids do now? why do you wear nailpolish...you know yr a boy right? don't you know people will get the wrong impression abt you? if you keep listening to that music, you'll go crazy and go to school and kill people...just like those kids in colorado...why do you want to be a freak? God didn't give you those rings in yr lip and nose and ears...don't you understand...you are making a fool of yr self...yr going straight to hell."-inside the mind of any "normal adult" when a member of the tribe comes into view.
why do i want to be called freak? i don't...i want to be called an individual, just like everyone. just cos i don't shop at the stores you want me to, or go to the places that are "acceptable" doesn't mean i want to be singled out for being "that wierd kid who wears offensive t-shirts and carries a lunchbox." a funny thing happened to me on the way home...i decided to go to a coffee shop down town after i left work...this was abt midnight...after hanging out with my friends, frequenting a local establishment and drinking coffee...i was on the way to my car, and all of the sudden, i was surrounded by cops. they searched me, asking me questions like the afore mentioned and i was never a "smart-ass" or "beligerent" for that matter. in fact, under the circumstances, i was awfully polite. Anyway...as i was in the "searching" position...they started asking me more questions...like could they search my lunchbox...i said sure, knowing that the only thing in it was trash from my lunch, my rolling papers, some rolling tobacco and a rolling machine...(i rolled my own cigarettes at the time and was not stupid enough to carry drugs on me...)they dumped the contents onto the ground and started looking through it...one cop said, "what do you usually carry in yr lunchbox?" To which i replied, "My lunch..." then another piped up..."aren't you a little too old to carry a lunckbox?" i said, "i don't think so...it serves it's purpose..." the one acutally searching my stuff said, "hey, he's got some papers...now what do you use these for?" i explained that if he look around some more he would find some tobacco and a rolling machine...and no drugs. after a little while they decided that they had fucked up and got into there little car and sped away...not before apologizing for the mix-up.
now i ask you...why do you think they stopped me? if i had looked like a "regular joe" do you think they would have looked twice? do you think they would have searched my briefcase if i was carring one instead of my lunchbox? would they have hasseled me if i had a "hootie and the blow-fish" shirt on? the answer is probably not...
i don't look the way i do to "shock", "offend", "disturb", or create controversy...i don't wear the clothes i do to make you look at me, or "cry for help"...i don't believe in advertising my strangeness for yr enjoyment or amusement...i look like this cos since the age of seven, i knew what i was supposed to look like...before i saw one person with dreadlocks, i knew i wanted them...i didn't know abt boys getting their ears pierced, but i knew i wanted it done to me...to answer the question..."why do you want to be called a freak?"...i don't want to be...i just am, i don't consider myself a freak, or strange, or any of that bullshit...i consider my self independant...able to deal with putting myself in situations like the one described above, bitch abt it for 10 minutes, and forget abt it. i have made a decision to be who i am forever...with my tattoos, piercings, scars, burns, hair, and lifestyle not making me who i am...but helpimg me be who i am. i am not proud to be a freak...but i am proud to be who i am.
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