I opened my eyes only to find the suns bright rays to blind me momentarily. I shielded my eyes with my hand and unwillingly got out of my nice soft and warm bed. I glanced at the clock. 9:38 am. "It's 9 am Sunday and I'm awake already?" I thought to myself. I glanced at my bed. It felt like it was calling for me. But sleeping was not my first priority at the moment. Too many things were on my mind. I saw too many pictures that clouded my thinking. My eyes wandered to my bedstand where a splendid array of flowers stood full of an eclectic mix of colors as they were struck by the sun. Red, yellow, orange, blue, purple, green, white, the whole visible spectrum was seen in those flowers. They were just beautiful. And even more beautiful because BJ had given them to me. He said he had seen them and at once thought of me. 'Their beauty almost matched yours' he told me. I smiled as I remembered that moment. I had the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Not to mention the cutest. I walked over to my bathroom, locked the door and did the daily morning ritual of washing up and slapped myself a bit in an attempt to wake myself up. I did this all the while still thinking about BJ, I just couldn't believe I had found him. More surprisingly, he thought I was the personification of his perfect idea of the girl he could be with forever. He was the perfect man, not I. I couldn't believe it when last night, he told me he loved me. Me, with my many faults. Me, with my looks. Me, with the broken soul and beaten body, too tired to walk that path of love. The soft carpet was a comfort to my very tired feet as I continued to head downstairs for some breakfast. Still half asleep I walked like a drunk. Left, right, left, right. I muttered looking at my feet. "Yeah that's how you walk. Damn I really hate Sunday mornings. How I wish we could sleep forever." I muttered. "What in the world?" I shouted as I felt someone poke me at my side (which I concluded to be an attempt at tickling me). I jumped and landed in the arms of someone unknown. I looked down. Vans and Cargo pants. Looking behind me I saw a smile. "BJ!" "Hey." "What are you doing here so early? How'd you get in? Don't tell me you broke our door." He laughed. He looked at me mockingly and said " Of course I broke in. How else could I get inside? As for why I'm here…" He raised his eyebrows up and down a teasing look in his eyes. "Oh its nine in the morning, don't get freaky on me." "Can't a guy get freaky with his favorite girl?" "Favorite girl? You mean your only girl." I answered smiling. "Of course." He rolled his eyes and I saw a light come into them. I knew he had a sudden conception. He did, and he firmly slipped his arms under me. "Come and let your handsome hero rescue you from starvation. To McDonalds!" He tried to sound like Superman and I laughed silently to myself. I didn't have to tell him he sounded downright ridiculous, but nonetheless cute. He swept me off my feet---literally---and carried me downstairs. I knew the rather large smile on my face showed that I couldn't be any happier. She rested her head on my shoulder her hair falling gently on my shirt. He hair was soft and it shone red and brown under the light streaming from the window. I wondered what she was thinking of. She looked shocked the night before when I told her I loved her. I thought about those words and savored the on my tongue. It felt right saying it to her. It had felt natural as those words rolled of my tongue. But I only knew that my praise for her only gave her more of a beating. This was all too much for her tired and weary soul. Too much that she couldn't admit to loving me. But God (forgive me Lord), I didn't care. I didn't care what the hell she felt or thought. It was all too clear in my mind. We, were in love. "Wait." I stopped giving June an inquiring stare. "Yes my love?" "I'm still in my pajamas, I have to go change." She replied. "Why?" "They're sleep wear BJ." "You still look beautiful." I told her honestly, relishing the fact that June looked good in anything. "You know of course that people will stare at lil ol me." "Your right, they will stare. It's only natural that when a beautiful woman walks in the door all eyes will be on her." "You want a kiss don't you? " "Dear heart, you caught me. How'd you know?" I couldn't help looking a little amused. "Is it working?" "Yeah." She mumbled as she put her arms around me and her lips came closer and yet closer to mine. I anticipated on of her electrifying kisses and closed my eyes in passion. "But….." She whispered huskily just before her lips touched mine. "I have to go change first." She said as she jumped of my arms. "I'll be back in ten minutes, minimum." With a smile she left and closed the door to her room behind her, leaving me in the hall smiling. I stood bewildered at seeing how unpredictable and wonderful June was. It was alright. I loved her that way. I laughed silently to myself as I locked the door. It felt good messing with BJ in the crucial moments I knew he loved. The look on his face when I jumped off his arms was priceless and irreplaceable. The closet door opened with a creak and I gazed at my uncommonly large wardrobe. My mind wandered off to space and I thought about last night when BJ uttered those three words so exalted among lovers. He looked so honest and sincere when he had said I love you, and he had said it so simply. It was as if those words he owned, and those words were so natural for him to say, to me. The sound of BJ's footsteps outside pacing brought me back to reality and I remembered I had to get dressed. I hastily put on baggy cargo pants and a white shirt. I ran to my dresser and grabbed the white bucket hat lying on top. I placed it on my mass of unruly hair and ran back to the door to get hold of my wallet which was carelessly lying on my desk. I pulled the door open and walked out about to jump on BJ but all that met my inquiring eyes was an empty hall. "I wasn't daydreaming that long." I questioned silently to myself as I looked around. I squealed as someone suddenly grabbed me from behind. "BJ, please stop doing that. Someday you are going to give me a heart attack." "Yeah, you just have to love me."
"Open the window will you?" I asked on our way to McDonalds in BJ's little black Viper. "Will do, boss." The wind hit me and carried my hair wildly around my face. I tried my best to keep it in control but the wind was too strong. I cupped my face in my hands and turned to look out the passenger-side window. I again started to think of the night before. Those words he exclaimed to me changed everything. After he told me I frowned and smiled, not knowing which expression was appropriate. BJ said I love you to me so seriously, and I knew he actually meant it. I had said I loved him before, but we both knew we were just being silly because of our clear infatuation. And last night, as he smiled at me, I just wasn't ready to say those three words that would transform our little world. But it was so wonderful being with BJ, oh so wonderful! I glanced at him to find his eyes upon me. He gave me a smile. I felt something go through me, as it always did when BJ smiled, smiled because of me.
I couldn't help glancing at her from time to time while I was driving down the freeway. Her hair was whipping wildly around her round face and she seemed to be in profound thought. Silently I wondered what was going on inside her head. "What you straining so hard to figure out." "You." "I see." Her words were clear to me. It was obvious by the look in her face that I put her in a tough position last night when I told her I loved her. I couldn't help it. We were sitting side by side, a brilliant combination of colors painted on the darkening sky. With her by my side, with her in my arms the I felt that my greatest gift was finally given to me as my trophy. After all those years of life-of seeing the hopeless and pleading eyes of different women - seeing the life and love in her eyes, seeing the confidence in her walk, it was something that lifted me even higher than the clouds I floated in. Life was beautiful before her, I was happy and carefree, but with her, life was simply too enticing and wondrous. Alas, I knew dear June wasn't sure if she could love or trust again. I knew she loved Nick Carter, and when he broke her heart part of her sensible mind was taken. She now-although she was still perfect in her own way-seemed to be lost in her own feelings. She tried again and again to interrogate her emotions but because of her lack of clarity in thinking, she never forgot about Nick, that bastard. It was luck that she even liked me and allowed me to get this close to her. I knew she still wasn't ready to love again, although I knew I was. I didn't care if she didn't think she loved me yet, I knew I loved her. And I could tell she loved me, if she didn't then it was impossible for me to love her. Love always goes in a two way direction, without the other, love wasn't possible to conceive. I know what I feel is love, I have thought about it so many times. You see, I believe that you fall in love with your values, with your concepts, June personified all I thought and felt. She was the embodiment of my 'sense of life' as Ayn Rand would say. I loved her, and it was impossible for me to love her unless I knew she loved me. She did. She just didn't know it. "We have arrived at our destination dearest. Lets go eat." I said as I quickly glanced at the side view mirror to take a quick glance at my reflection. My short, spiky hair was almost hazardous, but I didn't really care. I exited the car and closed the door behind me. I ran over to the passenger side to opened the door for June. "Thank you stranger." She drawled seeming happier for some reason I couldn't see. "Your welcome miss. This way for breakfast." She skipped while I walked towards McDonalds. We entered the well known restaurant and many eyes turned to June. "What'd I tell you?" I whispered in her ear. "Pretty lady walks in the door and all eyes turn on her." "Oh shut up." She replied rolling her hazel eyes. "Lets eat! I don't know about you but I could eat around five Big Mac meals just about now." She said: "Oh its okay, kiss me and you can make up for it." "I didn't know not having enough money could bring me advantages." I said thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should come with no money at all next time." "Oh no you won't Ben James. Now come on. Feed me!" She invoked her eyes flaunting her obvious spring of joy. "I'm hungry!"
"Where might we be heading?" June asked a spark of curiosity in her eyes as she surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings fleeting by us. "You'll see soon enough." I told her, answering her dubious stare with an esoteric gaze. "More secrets?" She said. "Damn, the way things are going you'll be taking me to Backstreet concert next." "You want to go to a BSB concert?" Not really caring what emotions I knew flooded through her at the moment. I didn't give a damn if Nick would be there. "Well?" "'Well' what B?" "Would you like to go to a BSB concert." He inquired indifferently. "Um….let me think about it." I said hastily turning away knowing my face told the whole story. Of course I would want to go. I loved the Backstreet Boys. The faint breeze brought a familiar smell to my nostrils. I could faintly find the trace of the scent of salt. My eyes turned in BJ's direction the and reflected light coming from the surface of the ocean hit my eyes. We were heading to the beach Nick loved to take me to. "Oh wow! What a surprise. Thank you! You know how much I love the deep blues!" It was an act. I hoped he couldn't tell. He could, I saw it in his apathetic smile. This place sent back memories of Nick flooding into my mind. I wondered to myself why BJ had taken me here. He knows this was Nick's favorite place to bring me to. He knew it hurt whenever I saw this place although it was the undoubtedly the most beautiful spot I knew of. "Are you done thinking?" BJ said while he proceeded to park the car beside the beach. "What?" "Oh, you know me, you don't have to really." "But if that's what makes my girl happy." "Don't worry, just as long as you're with me I'm the happiest girl in the world." I told him honestly. He smiled on of those conceited debonair smile such as only he could smile. "I love you." I felt his lips touch mine and the warmth of his hand was around my neck. I leaned back in passionate surrender. BJ was kissing me with more feeling, precision and passion that I thought was possible. His kiss was the most passionate, tender, and loving kiss a man had ever given me in my seventeen years of life. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back with reflected emotions. It was then that I realized I had really fallen in love. June and I walked hand in hand along the beach watching little kids play and adults bathing in the sun. It was a wonderful day. The sun shone high up in the sky and there was a faint breeze making the hot rays a bit cooler and more bearable. I pondered on the mystery of June's recent thoughts. I had taken her here, to this beach, so she could think. So she could realize what was reality, so she could escape the fog that blinded her. So she could see what she was capable of, as clearly as I saw it. I turned to look at her and found her staring at me. She turned away. "Did I ever tell you I just love your hair today?" "This?" I said running my hand through my dangerously unkempt spikes. "that was sarcasm right?" "Correct. Hey, let's run a bit." She said laughing. "I need to lose some weight." I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.M/br> "I just need some exercise." "Alright." I grabbed her hand and started running, pulling her behind me. "Rizzy!" June exclaimed suddenly stopping and letting go of my hand. "Rizzy's here?" June was looking ecstatically at a group of girls. One of them I recognized as Rizzy Anne, Junes best friend for seven years. Rizzy and June ran towards each other and hugged and screamed-I could never figure out why girls do this. "What are you doing here Rizz?" June said "No, question is, what are you doing here?" "Call me and I'll tell you all the juicy details. For now I have to go and spend this time with my dear sweet, nice, mature manly man." "Mature? BJ?" "Well isn't that obvious?" I said putting my chest up high and my arms on my waist in a Superman pose. "Sure you are." June replied sarcastically looking at me and my pose. "I am." "Sure." "I am." "I believe you." "I am." "Yeah." "I sense sarcasm." "Well, duh." "I am though." "We believe you." I pouted. She laughed. "You're cute that way." I smiled. Rizzy began laughing. "You two are real odd people." "Damn proud of it." June and I said simultaneously. We all laughed. "Oh! I have to go now, I promised my mature boy here this was our day so I have to go now before Mr. Mature here starts whining. "Yeah sure call me." "I will Rizz. Well, bye Rizzy! Bye Sandy bye Mindy, bye Kranelle, Bye Amber, bye people peace!" June held up a peace sign with her fingers and hugged all of her friends joyfully. "See you guys in school tomorrow." June started pulling me again and started running when a faint ringing reached my ears. I looked up at the blazing sun. "You want some ice cream June?" I pulled June to a stop. "You know all my weaknesses." We walked over to the man handling the ice cream cart. "Chocolate." June said "Str-" "And strawberry-vanilla for the boy standing next to me." June answered for me. "Coming right up." The man said smiling. "How'd you know what I wanted?" I asked curiously. "Together for about a year now what did you expect?" "But I never told you about-" "I know you better than you think Ben James Harveye. I know you as well as you know me." "Hi mom." I said as I entered our nice rural looking home. "Sorry I'm late, BJ-" "Took you out to eat then to the beach where you two made out all night right? I know all about it." "How did you know? Except for the making out thing you were right." I replied saying my little white lie. BJ and I had made out all night, but who in their right mind would say that to their mother? "I believe you." She replied sarcastically as she started to laugh. My mother was so much like me. "Well I know cause BJ told me this morning. I like that boy, he's very polite, asked for my permission to have you for the whole day." "I'm glad you like him." "Like him? I love the boy! Keep a good hold on him, you guys will make beautiful children someday." "Mom!" She smiled. "Just kidding but he really is very sweet." "Yeah, I know. I think I'll hit the sack now. I'm so tired. And don't worry, we ate already, although that food smells so wonderful, I'm really tired. Good night. Love you." I kissed my mother on the cheek. "Love you too sweety. Night." My feet ached because of all the walking. My clothes were full of sand and ocean water so I started changing out of them and started putting on my pajamas, too tired to take a shower. As I was putting my arm through the sleeve of my pajamas I heard the familiar sound of my phone ringing. "Hello?" I said hastily trying to put my arm through while holding the phone. "Hello June!" I knew the voice. I had been hearing it all my life. "Hey Rizz! What do you want? Hey, hold on a sec yeah?" "Why? So you can kiss your boyfriend some more before he leaves for home?" "Yeah, that's it. Dear, he's not here. I just have to finish changing since someone interrupted me." "Oh alright then but hurry." She said with an exasperated sigh. "I want to know all the details." "You're one nosy friend Rizz." "Yeah you know you love me." "Yeah sure." I said laughing. "Okay hold on." I put the phone down and quickly put my arm through my sleeve. I picked the phone up. "HELLO HELLO!" A voice sung loudly. "I'm here!" I said after getting my eardrums nearly ruined by Rizzy's shouting. "Damn sometimes I wonder if your mom dropped you on your head when you were a baby." "Hm, you know what, she probably did." "Yeah that explains a lot!" I laughed. "You're making me cry." She whined and I began to hear badly acted sniffles. "Your a lousy actress Rizz, and I can't even see you." "I know, but you can't blame me for trying. Anyway so what where you doing at the beach. At the beach you swore you never set foot on ever again." She said rather quickly. I laughed to myself at Rizz's weirdness, she was much like me and as a result we often gave each other energy. "Calm down or you won't be able to breathe. That's right. Exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale." "Okay June I get your point! Just tell me what happened." She said very slowly this time. "That's my girl. Well its not like I went there myself, BJ took me there as a surprise." "Wait, doesn't he know?" "Well I think he took me there for a reason." "Mm, Hm. And that reason would be?" "That Nicks gone, he's there and he won't ever hurt me like that son of a bastard Nick did. That I should let go. That I love him. He wants me to realize these things." "You love him?" I heard the incredulity in my friend's voice and laughed. "I guess I just realized it." "You tell him?" "Yeah." I said remembering that moment, sitting under the night sky looking and wondering about the mysteries of the universe. "I told him all right." "What'd he say?" "Nothing , he just kissed me." "Wow, someone's in love." "Yeah you! With Mike Borandez." I said referring to some guy Rizzy chose as her infatuation of the month. "Hell yeah! You know what?" Rizzy Anne and I talked for about two hours debating on her love life until I finally had to practically slap myself to keep my eyes open. Very tired I was. "Bye Rizz! I have to sleep now. See you tomorrow!" "Sweet dreams, of BJ." Rizzy teased. "I will" I settled the phone on it's cradle and closed my eyes as I immediately fell into a dreamless sleep.