"Cheers and Jeers"


You know, that thing from TV Guide, where they're always doing cheers to people or things they like, and jeers to people and things they don't. So I figured, "Hey! I can do that." My Cheers And Jeers are gonna consist mainly of bands, but I might throw other stuff in every once in a while, too. For now, here you go. I'll tell you who everyone is, then there'll be a picture for each band or thing, and underneath the picture, I'll tell you whether I'm cheering or jeering them, and a few reasons why.



THE SPICE GIRLS


JEERS

And I mean that with a capital "J"! Never have I been so disgusted by a group. If it was just the fact that their songs/singing sucks, that'd be fine. But it's not. It's the fact that they suck, and yet they don't think they do, so they prance around like God's gift to music. NEWS FLASH: They can't sing, they can't dance (as Phil Collins would say), and they're NOT cute. It's a sad day when 5 frighteningly hideous prisses can just decide that they're the Number One band in pop music just because they need a job, and then the people of the world fall for it! They'd be gone right now if people weren't so gullible. But no, there's always gotta be people out there who think, "Oh, look. Five little, precious girls who're pouring their hearts and souls into their music, and fighting for women's rights!" All they're trying to do is make money, get on TV and in the magazines so that they can publicly flaunt themselves, and then they try to make us think they're fighting for rights, so that that'll make all the sick stuff they do alright. BIG TIME jeers to that, man.



TED NUGENT


CHEERS

Ted Nugent. I always thought he was a great guitarist, y'know, and he had a TON of hits in the '70s, but when I went to see him in concert in Las Vegas, I had NO IDEA that a guy that was older than my dad could put on a show. Boy, was I wrong. Ted Nugent put on the most AMAZING show I have ever seen. If you want somebody that pours their heart and soul into their music, it's this guy. Two hours, NON-STOP. He was sweating like a dog, but he wouldn't quit. He attacks the stage, and makes his audience a part of everything. He makes you feel like his best friends instead of just some people he doesn't know. And he flails, and he dives, he crawls on his knees, he screams, he thrashes the guitar, he makes faces, and then at the end of the show, he comes out in an Indian headdress, with a giant bow and arrow, sets the arrow on fire, shoots a guitar target, with sparks flying everywhere - need I say more? He's amazing. If you ever get the chance, check him out.



HANSON



JEERS

Here we see Hanson playing happily on the moon. Where they're from. And WHY God WHY couldn't they have stayed there. Don't get me wrong, if you're a little kid, and you've got talent - go for it, man. But if you're a little kid, and you DON'T have talent (Hanson) - what're you doing? Making a fool out of yourself. I think of these guys as the male Spice Girls. They're awful, but they're popular because all the little girls are in love with them. Hey. Little girls. They're terrible looking. You've got ape-man, the older brother, girly-man, that singing one who looks exactly like a girl (I thought he was for the longest time), and then punk-man, the little kid on the drums. That one's a perfect example of what happens to punk kids who become famous for no good reason - they turn into obnoxious brats. Watch any interview and you'll figure that out. So all I can say is - Hanson? Please have your mom come pick you up now.



THE PRODIGY


CHEERS

Don't ask me why. The first time I saw the Prodigy was on MTV. The video to "Firestarter." I think my exact quote was, "Holy God Almighty." I didn't know what to think. My initial thought was, "Be afraid - be very afraid." But then I thought, "Wait - that's what they want me to think. They're trying to use that reverse psychology stuff on me! Well, I'll show 'em! I'll like 'em!" See? I really had no good reason to like the Prodge. There's just something about them, though. I've always thought British techno music is kinda cool, but I recognize that Keith Flint can't sing. But then, he doesn't claim he can. He's just got to be there to throw the words out, and believe me, when he talks you've gotta listen. The only thing I can think of is that I can compare them to a Stephen King novel or something. It scares you, but you can't stop looking at it, and then after a while, you figure out you like to be scared. When I watch the video to "Breathe," I will honestly tell you that Maxim Reality scares the holy heck out of me. That weird makeup, those blue-white eyes, that "psychosomatic addict insane" bit he does - it's creepy. But it's cool. Liam Howlett, who's got a talent for mixing techno music, found one guy who could dance really well (Leeroy Thornhill), and one guy who could scream his words loud enough and who had the proper amount of weird hair and body piercing (Keith Flint - what's with that hair?), then decided he wanted an MC for the whole mess (Maxim Reality), and there you go. Instant group. That's why I like them. They're cool, they've got some kinda charisma, and they're honest. Very rare in groups today.



JAMIROQUAI


CHEERS

I absolutely LOVE these guys!!!! Especially Jay Kay, the lead singer. I don't think I've ever seen a more energetic guy. ; ) He can dance, and more importantly, he can SING. He can sing GREAT, man. Sounds a little like Stevie Wonder, but he's got his own style. He's got a perfect voice. I never liked jazz music before now, but he makes it sound TOO good. ; ) And besides the voice and the moves, he's got such awesome fashion sense. That hat. ; ) I've got one just like it. I couldn't help it. That hat just pretty much sums up the band. Unique, different, big and awesome. I can't say enough good things about these guys. Their music has got so much soul in it - they capture the easy jazz-type vibe really well. It's totally groovy, funkin' mega, man, so listen to it! ; )



MARILYN MANSON


CHEERS

Wasn't Marilyn (aka Brian) such a nice, unassuming little kid? What in the 'ell happened?? ; ) Here's my personal point of view of the dude. I think 99% of his fans are fans for the wrong reasons. Instead of admiring his effort to force issues into people's consciousness, they admire the fact that if they like him, it'll really tick their parents off and make them look like freaky rebels. Marilyn Manson is not a stupid man. He's an educated free-thinker who has some AMAZING ideas about things. His idea that everyone should be only what THEY want to be, not what someone told them to be, and that we should all evaluate ourselves to decide if we ARE doing some things just because we were told we should, is a fantastic perspective on people needing to be true to themselves. And don't get me wrong, I know it's not an entirely original idea. People have been trying to get that point across forever. But have you noticed they don't have much success? So enter Manson, with his freak show, come to pound the truth of that above statement so far into your heads that you won't be able to look at a pair of glittery high heels without thinking "I have to be my own person." *L* The only problem I have with him is some of the methods he uses to get his ideas across. It is Marilyn's belief that he MUST use the makeup, the bad reputation, and the shocking behavior in order to get people's attention long enough to show them what he stands for. Looking at society today, I can dig that. But I mean...the Bible ripping. Whether you believe the theory of creation or not, you just can't go around doing that. *L* I see exactly why he's doing it, tho: If you truly have faith in the Bible within your heart, you shouldn't need SYMBOLS to remind you to be a good person. You know people just like that. Go out, drink, do dope, do all kinds of awful things, but as long as they show up in church on Sunday to look at a Bible, oh of course, all their sins are forgiven. 'Cause they gathered in a big room with a bunch of other sinners. (Eh, sorry, personal opinions, I know not all people who go to church are sinners. COMPLETE sinners, anyway. *L*) But I just think he should maybe find some less...holy and important symbols to rip up. ; ) That's all. Also (I just have to get this in), the people who automatically say they hate Marilyn Manson just because he is an alleged Satanist are falling right into his trap. Not trap, really, but they are exactly the type of person Marilyn is trying to single out with his act. To say, "Look at these people, these are the ones you should watch out for, the ones who would rather scream about someone's appearance first, and then analyze the depth of their personality later." He's right, y'know.



"Cheers and Jeers" is a product of *InSaNe EdItOr PoSsE, iNc.* ©, a subsidiary of KoRn KrEw: ThE sKaTeRz UnIoN ©, and is written exclusively by whatsthestory & morningglory - BBH Editors. ©1997, 1998

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