"Deep Thoughts By Liam Gallagher

The idea for making a "Deep Thoughts by Liam Gallagher" section was given to me by Chelsea Cooper from Calhoun, GA, so go to Georgia, find her and thank her. All this is is me and other people writing what we think could be some of Liam's random thoughts.



This deep thought was kindly sent to me by Alison Schmidt:
"The world would really be a better place if there was peace everywhere an' me and Noel an' Meg and Pats... hey, I need another G&T!"

And here's some "Deep Thoughts" by the editors:
"The band isn't doing so well right now, pushing the release of our album further and further back, so....even if the band does split up, if I keep breaking and unbreaking my engagement to Patsy, as long as she stays famous, so will I!"

"If I just sit here and drink my G&Ts, the Hit Record Fairy will fly through my window every few months and bring me an album. Right?"

"Ya know, maybe if I stopped insisting that I'm better than Noel and that I'm the star of the band, and maybe if he and I, in the spirit of brotherly love, sat down and talked out our differences, we might get along better!..............Nah."

"If I had kept playing the violin like I did when I was younger, I could be in the London Philharmonic right now. Or I could at least be a Spice Girl."

"After one G&T, I start to calm down. After two G&Ts, I begin to see things much more clearly. After three G&Ts, the bar starts looking like a really nice place to be on a Saturday night. After four G&Ts, if I try really hard, I can convince myself that Noel doesn't exist. After five G&Ts, I am Thor, Ruler of the Planet. Even though that guy behind the bar doesn't seem to agree. Wonder who he's talking to on that phone in such a quiet voice? Oh well. After six G&Ts, my friends Lenny and Squiggy show up and start talking to me. Funny how I'm the only one who seems to be able to hear them, though. After seven G&Ts, if I stare at that painting on the wall long enough, it starts talking to me, too. After eight G&Ts, I usually have a nice, normal conversation with Grandpa Gallagher. It's really weird though, 'cause I thought he'd been dead about ten years. I wonder what his excuse is for not sending me a Christmas present then. After nine G&Ts, John Lennon and Jim Morrison come in and join Grandpa. Funny, I thought they were dead, too! Man, these people have got some kind of conspiracy working here. Wait'll I tell Noel about it. Oh wait, I forgot, he doesn't exist. I'll just tell Bonehead then. After ten G&Ts,...................[slump]"

"Whew! Well, now that our third album is finally out, I can just sit back, relax and spend some of my money! I'll just get some....um...wait a minute...my money! Where's my money?! PATSY!!!"

"Stupid Blur. They got all famous all of a sudden with one stupid song. It doesn't even have a proper name, "Song 2." And it doesn't even have any friggin' words! Just "Woo-hoo!" Wait a minute...I can do that! I've been doing it for years! Wait'll I tell Noel that I'm gonna release that song I wrote, "Yahoo," that he threw away!"

"Ya know, everybody loves me. There's always people tryin' to kiss me. Bono, Graham, Noel, that policeman, Patsy, Meg...oops, I'd better not tell Noel about that one. My mum, my bruvver Paul, Guigsy...come to think of it, I'd better not tell Noel about THAT one, either."

"Wake up, eat, sing, hit Noel, eat, hit Noel, sleep. Wake up, eat, sing, hit Noel, eat, hit Noel, sleep. Wake up, eat,......"

"I think me and Noel should get Paul and make a family album. Lots of families have had hit albums. The Partridge Family...well, but they had a sister. The Osmonds...well, but they had a sister. We need a sister. Hmmmm....come 'ere, Noel..."

"Our concerts are getting way too crowded. Maybe if we started playing Kenny G less people would come...."

"Throwing chairs out of windows doesn't seem to make Patsy mad enough to leave me. Maybe if I started throwing them AT her...."

"Everybody's getting too worked up over that dumb 'Titanic' movie. I think I'll ask Noel what he thinks about putting Patsy in a boat and sinking her at our next concert..."

"I'm sure the other passengers on this plane won't mind if I smoke. Or yell, scream, curse, hit Noel, throw things, dump out their luggage, knock over the drinks cart..."

"Man, I sure am bored. I kind of wish we were making another album or something right now. In fact, I think I'll call Noel up and tell him I want to go into the studio. I'll tell him that I'm going to start dedicating myself totally to the music. Start showing up for rehearsals, spending more time recording....I'm going to be a team player. AHHHHhhhhh!!!! Oh. Thank God I woke up. What a freaky nightmare."

"I can't believe Patsy already blew all my money. And then she makes me get a job because we won't be recording for two more years?? She's got some nerve. Oh well, I guess it's time to practice sounding sexy for my new job. 'Would you like fries with that?' 'Would you like fries with that?' 'Would you like fries with that?' 'Would you like fries with that?' "



"Deep Thoughts By Liam Gallagher" is a product of *InSaNe EdItOr PoSsE, iNc.* ©, a subsidiary of KoRn KrEw: ThE sKaTeRz UnIoN ©, and is written exclusively by whatsthestory & morningglory - BBH Editors, unless otherwise specified. ©1996, 1997, 1998

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