"Liam & Patsy"

In this section, I'll simply talk about or make up stuff about Liam and Patsy. 'Nuff said.



The idea for this one was given to me by Victoria Viera.
Liam & Patsy Have a Kid

Really they didn't, but let's pretend they did. What would this kid look like? What would it's name be? My personal opinion is that this kid would be the problem child of the universe. I mean, look at his father. This kid would be throwing little musical Walt Disney play-televisions out the nursery window by age 2. Picture it. The kid's got a bottle full of gin and tonic, swaggering around the house, giving guests the V, pitching tantrums. It's a little scary. The only hope for saving civilization as we know it would be to depend on Patsy to keep this miniature holy terror out of trouble. Tame it. Leash, choke-chain, the whole nine yards. You know, like she did to Liam. What would it look like? The eyebrows are gonna be something else, that's inevitable. The nose? I don't really know. Combine Liam's very British nose with Patsy's.....well, very pointy, slightly upturned one. That might just combine to make an inconspicuous nose. The eyes would be fine; Liam's Paul McCartney's with Patsy's fluttery actress eyes. It's name? John Lennon Gallagher, most likely. John Winston Lennon Gallagher. Who knows, they might even knock the "Gallagher" off altogether. Noel Jr.? Hahahaha. Liam Jr.? Quite possible, judging by the ego we're dealing with here. What if it's a girl? Yoko Ono? Please no. Patsy Jr.? Joan Lennon Gallagher? Paula McCartney Gallagher? Georgette Harrison Gallagher? Ringa Starr Gallagher? John Lennon has some kids. Maybe they'd go for them. Julian or Julianna, Sean or Seana. The search continues....

(11/26/97) = Here's some more wonderful speculation on Liam and Patsy. So they're finally married, and I guess there's nothing we can do about it. Darn. Wonder what a day at home with the happy couple is like?
"Liam, get yer lazy a** out of bed!"
"Fook off, I'm tired."
"You've been in that f****n bed for 12 days!"
"I'm still tired!"
"You get up now, or I'm leaving!"
"Go, then."
"Don't make me do it!"
"Who's making you?"
"Get up right now and take James to school!"
"James doesn't look crippled to me - he can walk."
"Get up!"
"Get off me bloody back, woman!"
"Liam, your brother's here."
"So let him in."
"I thought we already had this discussion! I don't want your no-good brother hanging around here anymore! He's got a house!"
"Yeah, but there's a woman there, too!"
"Don't get smart with me!"
"Who's smart?"
"Get up and tell him to leave!"
"You tell 'im."
"He's YOUR brother."
"NOEL! PATSY SAYS YOU'VE GOTTA LEAVE 'CAUSE SHE HATES YOU!"
"That's it! Since you love Noel so much, he can stay. I'm leaving!"
"Hallelujah. NOEL? SHE'S GOING, BRING UP THE LAGER!!"

"More Fun With Liam & Patsy"
(6/1/98)

So, Liam and Patsy have been married for....oh, I don't know. A while now. And (unfortunately ; ), they seem to be getting along just fine. Well, as in they haven't killed each other yet. And as far as anyone knows, Patsy's not pregnant or anything. But, over the years since I posted the bit up there about sending in baby names for the possible child, I've gotten quite a few amusing answers. Hero Gallagher, Sally Gallagher, Acquiesce Gallagher, Loony Gallagher, Peggy Gallagher, ProblemChild Gallagher, Gin'n'Tonic Gallagher, and even Mancy Gallagher (named for Man City). So, what I thought I would do is start one of those goofy baby name books for these creative names you guys come up with. Y'know, those books that give the names and their origins and meanings. So start sending in more baby names for "Liam Jr.'s Baby Book."



"Liam & Patsy" is a product of *InSaNe EdItOr PoSsE, iNc.* ©, a subsidiary of KoRn KrEw: ThE sKaTeRz UnIoN ©, and is written and created exclusively by whatsthestory & morningglory - BBH Editors, unless otherwise specified. ©1996, 1997, 1998.

TaKe It HoMe