Frank Zappa said of them: “Better than the Beatles--even today.” Don’t you miss your very first band? Don’t you? I mean, your very first band, even if you’re not a musician. Especially if you’re not a musician. There was some barely remembered episode in kindergarten, perhaps, when all the kids were given various whistles, tambourines and New Years Eve party favors? (I always ended up with the milk carton full o’ pebbles, grumble grumble.) Maybe there were a couple of polka musicians on your local production of Dialling For Dollars named Johnny and Jimmie, and you used to pretend one of the couch pillows was an accordion? Or maybe you cashed in ten years of piano lessons to form a garage band with the first pack of highschool guitar-toters who bluffed you into believing they knew how to operate musical instruments? And since the rhythm guitarist was so woefully, utterly caucasian he couldn’t even keep mental count of 1234 and would consistently change chords at beat 2.8919785, wasn’t it kind of like playing with Syd Barrett? And when the drummer suggested calling the band Persian Red because it was the color paint they were using over at the highway department you thought it was the hippest name imaginable because it sounded like dope? So you’d all bash thru “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” for an hour, and then go out for cheeseburgers and you’d order cheeseburgers and the waitress would ask you what you wanted on them and you’d stare into space for awhile and then say, “mmm...cheese...” And then you’d put sugar in the salt shakers and when the waitress asked you what would happen if the next customer were to use that and you’d tell her in all sincerity that “they’d have a very sweet hamburger,” then after you’d been kicked out you’d play air-guitar versions of “Johnny B. Goode” on people’s front lawns all the way home? And when you got back you’d figure it was time to “jam” and you’d find yourselves deconstructing the Star Trek theme, the guitarists mutilating those tiny bits of string past the top and bottom of the fretboard just like The Ventures In Outer Space, but with extra warp factor? Or after a few beers and some weed, you were tanned, rested, and ready, and you’d go for it, the big production numbah, FREEBIRRRRRRD!!!, rendered as only perhaps only Blue Cheer could have done it justice? Do you remember? And nowadays don’t you weep tears of frustration that you were too busy living your dreams to ever record them? Weep no further; the Shaggs did. Just one listen and you’ll know--they made their record for each and every one of us.
Get your own Free Home Page