tabloid tales

Oasis' guitaris Bonehead enjoyed a rare moment in the spotlight thanks to The Daily Star, which gave him a front page lead headlined "Oasis star blows £31,000 on plate nobody can read".

The story explained how Bonehead had fixed a number plate to his brand new Aston Martin which reads "S 1 SAO". The musician is pictured getting into the James Bond-style motor giving a two-fingered salute. The paper claimed he forked out £160,000 on the car as a "special treat", to make his motorway journeys from Manchester to London more comfortable.

A "Manchester pal" told the paper: "Bonehead is keeping a bit quiet about how much the plate cost him." He continued: "Eac time, he just laughs and says that he's spent money on some daft things in his time, but he hasn't blown that amount on a licence plate...It was all his idea to have it back to front. Bonehead jokes that his ideal wheeze would be trail Liam Gallagher on his scooter and see if he falls off his bike when he clocks the word "Oasis" in his wing mirror!"

Meanwhile The Sun ran the headline: "Noel fears 2000", and alleged that the Oasis songwriter is scared of the millenium bug! Apparently he has scrapped his bid to top the first chart of the next century - because he's convinced computers will go haywire.

Noel supposedly said: "It would be great to see in the 21st century with a Number One album and single - what a statement. But it ain't going to happen. If computer systems do crash, record shops will be thrown into chaos. A chart may not even come out, and we don't want to be part of that." A spokeswoman for Noel exclaimed: "He might well have said it in jest!"

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c 1998 Andrew Turner

aturner@interalpha.co.uk

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