tabloid tales

"F*** that - I'm going to enjoy myself" - the immortal words of Liam Gallagher in Cannes, according to The Mirror. This is the man who was ordered to stop drinking by his big brother - just for three months, mind, while Oasis are recording their fourth album in the south of France.

The Mirror reported that the "wayward pop star" came crashing off the wagon in spectacular fashion, shouting his mouth off to two holidaymakers after being "ejected" from a restaurant at 5am. The strangers, reportedly, gave Liam a lift home and were rewarded with a classic rant, about brother Noel. "It's alright for him, in London picking up awards all the time and getting all the glory and expecting me to be tucked up in bed by 9pm with a cup of cocoa." He was, of course, supposed to have been refering to the Loaded bash, where Oasis, despite not releasing anything for nearly a year, won three awards.

But not only that, the rag is claiming that Liam admitted to his impending fatherhood. When one of the toursists, Paul Hupfield, asked the "well-oiled" star if Patsy was, in fact, expecting, he supposedly retorted: "Yeah, of course she is." And when asked if he was pleased, he reportedly uttered the enthusiastic words: "Whatever, man, whatever."

Paul allegedly told the paper: "It was a surreal evening. When we got to his villa he didn't offer us a nightcap, but handed us about £40 in French francs and signed a fiver for my mate."

The next day, The Sun claimed that Liam had been splashing the cash once again. This time "more than £10,000", so that his mates could watch Manchester City play Gillingham at Wembley. Liam was apparently planning to fly home especially, check his plas into a top London hotel and party in the "exclusive Olympic suite" at the football stadiums.

The News Of The World gave Noel a really hard time, claiming that he's "blown his tough-guy image" - and all because he's agreed to be a guest on Radio 4's "Desert Island Discs". This is just "the latest in a series of civilised acts", the paper grumbled.

A spokesman for the band informed The Maker that it's actually untrue, Noel hasn't been asked to take part in "Desert Island Discs". Nevertheless, it's good to have Oasis back.

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c 1998 Andrew Turner

aturner@interalpha.co.uk

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