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NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS
"Songs In The Turkey Of Life - Noel & Liam On The Tunes That Made Them Men!"
by Ted Kessler
19th December 1998
- Inside is a computer-manipulated picture of Noel and Liam wearing Santa Claus outfits
- picture by Steve Double.
- First record you can remember?
- Noel: "Ticket To Ride" by The Beatles. I wasn't really analysing music then so I don't know why I liked it. I suppose the first record I really liked was "Anarchy In The UK" by the Sex Pistols because it was angry and loud.
- Liam: Peters & Lee - "It Was You Who Tripped Me Up". You c***.
- Song that reminds you of school?
- Noel: "Going Underground" by The Jam. I've got good memories of school because I f*****g hated it and everyone else who was in our class. And the teachers. But there was one dinner lady who was a fine lady and that was our Mam. But I was glad that I left the year he [Liam] joined.
- Liam: 'Hey Teacher Leave Those Kids Alone'. Before i get me dad in to sort you out! (He means "Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)" by Pink Floyd, of course - Ed)
- Song you fell in love to?
- Noel: Erm, not sure about that...
- Liam: Right, well her's my one. (Picks up tape and shouts into the mic) WHICH ONE? THERE WERE SO F*****G MANY!!! He can't say that, I can now. (NME should point out that this interview was conducted while Liam and Patsy were estranged.)
- Noel: You'll f*****g regret that. Me, I wouldn't like to say. Probably something shit like...
- Liam: Leave it, leave it at that.
- Noel: ..."The Bitterest Pill" by The Jam.
- Liam: He's taking the piss out of me now!
- Noel: I'm not.
- Liam: Yer are, you cheeky bastard! I know! I know! (picks up mic) 'The Morning After...Pill'.
- Heartbreak song?
- Noel: "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" by Monty Python.
- Liam: "Perfect Day" by whatshisname, Lou Reed.
- Noel: "Ticket To Ride" is a pretty good heartbreak tune, innit?
- Liam: What's he mean by heartbreak tune?
- Noel: A record that reminds you of feeling sad when a bird's leaving you.
- Liam: Aaaaaaah...it's a 'Perfect Day'. D'yer geddit kids? Anyone fancy a pint?
- Noel: You're gonna pay for that when this comes out.
- Liam: No I won't, no I won't, no I won't, no I won't.
- Noel: F*****g will!
- Liam: F*****g won't, mate. It's a 'Perfect Day', what can I say? That's me heartbreak record.
- Song that evokes the greatest summer of your life?
- Liam: Dodgy - "Going Ot For The Summer" (sic)
- Noel: Is it f***! Don't say that! He didn't mean that.
- Liam: (Tries to throw the tape player into adjacent fish tank) Ginger-haired c***! (Stops) What, a perfect summer? "She Bangs The Drums" by The Stone Roses.
- Noel: I'd go along with that, definitely.
- Liam: That whole album. Best summer ever. Mad for it. Ask me the next one, yer c***.
- Anthem for a night on the tiles?
- Noel: You've not heard it yet. It's one of our new ones, you wait.
- Liam: Yeah, leave it at that. We're out of season now, man.
- Noel: Yeah, one of our new ones...
- Liam: Leave it at that!!!
- Noel: OK. It's not my band.
- Liam: Whose band is it?
- Noel: You band.
- Liam: Did you hear that?! It's my band!! It's my band!! Are you recording this, Mister Journalist? It's my band!
- Noel: It's your band.
- Liam: Hang on a minute...It's not my band now we're shit and nobody likes us! It was my band when we were popular! You sneaky bastard! (Aims kick at Noel's arse)
- Record that inspired you to form a band?
- Noel: The Stone Roses' first album.
- Liam: One of his.
- Noel: You were in the band befor me, you daft c***!
- Liam: Alright, alright. But it was still one of your songs that made us start the band.
- Noel: Oh, yeah, so it is my band after all.
- Liam: Right. "When The Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin.
- Noel: Also, "The Queen Is Dead" by The Smiths.
- Liam: PistolsRosespunkspunknewwave. Music
- Record guaranteed to clear the tourbus?
- Noel: Any of Bonehead's, Cocteau Twins, The Sugarcubes, The Stranglers, A Flock Of Seagulls, Classix Nouveaux, Split Enz, Kajagoogoo...
- Liam: I'm going to be a right hard bastard now and say anything by f*****g fat-arsed Williams. You can quote me on that! (Wheels away boxing the air) WHO WANTS IT?!!
- Noel: Tubby-arsed Williams.
- Liam: Tubby-arsed Williams. And quote me on that, right? That's from me, not him. Anything by Robbie f*****g Williams. Alright?
- Noel: Not that we've ever played anything by him on the bus.
- Liam: No f*****g way! But if they played it I'd f*****g run off. I'd rather walk. I'd rather be in the f*****g trailer. I'd rather trail the f*****g trailer!
- Midnight on New Year's Eve. What's on the hi-fi?
- Noel: Not "Millenium" by Robbie Williams. Er, probably one of ours. Probably that one we can;t tell you about.
- Liam: I'll be playing myself. Or the glockenspiel.
- What would you like played at your funeral?
- Noel: "Going Underground" by The Jam.
- Liam: "Natural Mystic" by Bob Marley. (Grabs NME by the groin, kisses NME on the cheek and stomps off.)
c 1998 Andrew Turner
aturner@interalpha.co.uk
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