Inside Noel and Gem - jeans and leather jackets.

pictures by Roger Sargent

In the second of our two-part interview with Oasis, Noel Gallagher and Gem Archer ponder your posers...

We promised you the other three: we lied. In the end only Noel Gallagher - songwriter, guitarist, spokesman, Chief Of Staff - and his new axe foil Gem Archer made it to part two of our fans' summit with Oasis. Rookie bassist Andy Bell is sadly absent, still sulking over some cruel ancient NME slight directed at his former group Hurricane#1 (What was that Noel once said about Hurricane again...?)

Still, two's a conversational crowd for Noel Gallagher anyway so we're probably best off with just The Chief and Gem. Gem, adjusted and mellow, of Durham stock - once a Heavy Stereo - won't say much but that's only because there's no room. Noel says so much, so quickly, that there's no way any publication could incorporate all of it.

So we've had to cut the stuff about Noel excitement at the prospect of writing with the new line-up (yet to happen), about The Royle Family's excellence, about how he'd buy Roy Keane for Man City, about how he and Gem both think (erroneously) that Spiderman could have Superman, about Pete Voss of Campag Velocet "looking exactly like Our Kid after a week in the pub"...and on and on.

There is, though, plenty to be going on with. Keith Hellawell, government Drugs Tsar, should consider putting Noel's answer to Eric Jones' question in his pipe and smoking it..

Noel, you've slagged off both '(What's The Story) Morning Glory?' and 'Be Here Now'. What about the fans who paid for them and still think they're brilliant? (Madeferit, Plymouth)

Noel: "I reserve the right to criticise my own music. When you're writing albums it's your thing. But as soon as it hits the shops it ceases to be the musicians', it becomes the fans' album. If people love them, fine. I like five tracks off '..Morning Glory?', and three off 'Be Here Now'. I think 'Definitely Maybe' is a great album. I do reserve the right, though, to criticise my own albums because I was there when things were going down and I know how great they could've been. Five years from now I'll look back on this one and maybe see things wrong. I'm just being honest. I think 'Definitely Maybe' was great and the other two weren't up to much as albums. Talking about them after they came out, I thought they were the greatest gift to rock'n'roll, obviously. You work on them for so long that you're so pleased just to have finished the tuckers. But I don't think much of them."

Gem: "My theory about 'Be Here Now' is that it was The Phantom Menace of albums. It could never have lived up to the hype."

Noel: "Spot on. You're good at those analogies, you always pull 'em out. It was actually more Return Of The Jedi, but still..."

Noel, how did you feel about the George Harrison break-in, and do you get stalkers? (Jason P, Plymouth)

Noel: "I get persistent fans. If you can call 13-year-old girls stalkers, then, yeah, I get them. I used to get a few nutcases around the house in London but they're usually after one thing: money. After the Harrison thing I did go check all the alarm, checked the Bat-phone and made sure that was working, You can't let it become an all-consuming thing because if someone wants to get in, they will. We just starve the dogs now and they are extremely tucking hungry."

NME: How many dogs have you got?

Noel: "Five. Two Dobermans and the rest are just little fucking yappy things. They'd yap you to death if you came too close. One will only bark at this frequency that really gets in my earhole and pisses me right off. It's like the dentist's drill."

Did Guigsy and Bonehead play anything on 'Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants'? (M,artha, New York)

Noel: "Erm...to be honest, Guigs didn't, no, Bonehead's probably there somewhere. No. I played bass on six tracks and a mate of mine who was the engineer on the session who's a really good bass player played on tour. Guigs, by his own admission, wasn't the best bass guitarist in the world and he used to get away with it. But stuff like "Gas Panic!" and "Who Feels Love", I couldn't even get me head round those and I wrote them! There's bits of lead guitar on there that I haven't played because I haven't got a problem with passing people guitars and saying, 'Go on then,' people like ('Definitely Maybe' producer) Mark Coyle. It keeps everyone involved. It doesn't fill me with pride saying they didn't play on the album, but Guigs just wasn't good enough."

NME: Did you kick Bonehead out because of his drinking?

Noel: "No. We had a word with him. We were going to get Liam to stop drinking or we weren't going to record the album and Liam agreed to stop while we were doing the album. Then when we got there Bonehead decided that he wasn't going to stop. We'd said that if Liam was going to stop we should all stop because it wouldn't be fair, and that when we got home we'd have the party, but by the lime we got there Bonehead had forgotten that conversation So we had a quiet word with him and he got pissed off and then he left. But it isn't anybody's position to kick anybody out of the band."

You said that you wanted to finish the band after Knebworth. Why didn't you? (Larry K, London NW6)

Noel: "Didn't have the bottle, really. If someone especially Liam - had backed me up and said, 'Yeah, it's the right thing to do,' then I'd have done it. But they didn't see the point. I suppose the alternatives for everybody else wasn't much because they're not songwriters. It would've been pretty naughty of me because them lot would be like, 'What the fuck are we going to do?...

NME: Do you think your legacy would've been greater, like The Jam?

Noel: "Yup, totally. But you make decisions in your life, don't you? We didn't, we put it off and there'd be no point in finishing it now, would there? We might as well make records and do the best we can. But it would've been great to go out in a blaze of glory, Pour petrol over each other and set fire to ourselves like those Tibetan monks. But...fuck it."

What was the worst thing the Inspiral Carpets made Noel do as a roadie? (Tom Sykes, Swindon)

Noel: "When they played Reading they had a pantomime cow onstage and they made me swing on an udder during the encore. That was quite embarrassing. They also made me appear in one of their videos, which wasn't one of my finer moments. The worst thing they made me do, though, was hump flight cases up 12 flights of stairs. But I've got fond memories of it, really. I was saying last night I should never have given it up. It was a steady £750 a week. Didn't have to dress smart, didn't have to do interviews. Didn't have a care."

Gem: "He was looking at the crew going, 'Look at them, they haven't got a care, brilliant...'"

Noel: "I love 'em. They wear the same Megadeth T-shirt every day, eat us much as they want; they don't give a shit. And if you want to know a good sitcom, the crew bus sitcom is the one. Sit on the crew bus in America, that is a marvellous sitcom. The sound engineer has always got the arse because he's the singer of the crew. The lighting guy is like the lead guitarist because he's the other creative guy. he roadies are all drummers because they just bang things together and go, 'Skol!'. All the people who put the lights up are all bassists because all they do is smoke pot all day and look at and go, (Perfect Camberwell carrot cockney accent) 'It's fucking beautiful, man. ou fucking missed it, man, there was a bit, right, in fucking "Champagne Supernova", man, where you and Gem, right, you were wielding your axes, right, and there was this luverly, luverly like mauve thing going at the back of your head...Yeah...(takes deep puff on the fag) You looked like Jesus, man."

Which of your outspoken remarks have you most regretted making? (Len Jennie, Hyde)

Noel: "All of them, really. I regret things that I've said every day. I said in an interview that the festival we play is not going to be the most important thing for us. The most important thing for us going to be Wembley Stadium. They asked, 'Why do the festivals?' and I said, 'For the money'. 'Course, I'm coming down here in the car and the headline on the radio is, 'Later on we've got Noel Gallagher explaining how he's going to sell out his fans for cash,' But those festivals are not going to be the most important shows Oasis do this year, it's going to be Wembley Stadium. We're doing those festivals for Christmas presents, but it all came out as if we're selling our fans out."

Gem: "All the fans will go, 'He's doing it for the cash? Geezer!' All the journos go, 'Sell-out!'"

Have you still got the brown Rolls-Royce?

Noel: "I have. It's in the garage, slowly rotting away. It's beautiful, man. It's a Rolls-Royce in an ageing English mansion."

Gem: "You want to get it on the front lawn, take the roof off it, wheels off it and put a flower bed inside along with the dogs."

Noel: "I've caught the dogs kipping in it. I like looking at it because it's a testament to how much money Creation never really had! 'Why don't you put out another album?' 'No? We'll buy you a Rolls-Royce."

NME: Can you drive yet?

Noel: "No. I took about ten lessons, but the woman kept making me do a three-point turn outside the local comprehensive in Slough and after about three days everybody twigged on that at about half-four knobhead was going to come round the corner in a Nissan Micra with a big triangular L on the top. How embarrassing! I'd pull in and all these kids'd go, 'Wooooohey..' Stalled the tucking car! After about two weeks I got really pissed off with it."

Where do you get your clothes from? (Robbo, Brighton)

Noel: Mostly second-hand shops, I suppose. Wherever I see nice stuff, really. I tend to buy second-hand denim because new denim's shit. I bought this in Greenwich Market (tugs at yellow cord jacket), these in America (pulls at faded blue jeans) and these at Clarks but I painted the soles brown with a brown marker because the white soles look stupid (much murmured agreement around table). I went into this art shop in Baker Street and asked for two marker pens that would paint rubber. And the two guys were like, 'Why?' So I said I wanted to paint the soles brown and the geezer went, (Cockney accent) 'Fucking hell man. I never thought of that, mine look shit too!' I took them back when I'd done it and the geezer was like, 'That's amazing!"'

NME You Once told us that shoes were most important Do you still dress from the feet up?

Noel.' "Absolutely. Totally. Spend hours walking around the bedroom with a pair of socks and shoes on holding stuff up going, 'Mmmmm, ahhhh, I fucking don't know about this yellow and brown!' Your shoes have got to match what colour guitar you're, playing too. I had tots black guitar and I was going, Gem, I can't seem to dress with this guitar' and he was going, yep, black, the hardest guitar to dress with.' It gets very Spinal Tap."

Gem: "You've got to avoid your blue, green and purple guitar."

Does seeing Richard Ashcroft doing his solo album make Noel want to do his while he's still in nhis prime? (Steve Parkinson, London)

Noel: No, because Richard now has the problem of putting together and it's not session musicians I difficult it was to get two guys who are roughly the same age, vaguely from the same background and who are into the same things musically. For him it must be a nightmare. He's going down a long tunnel now and there's no obvious light at the end of it. Where's he going to find five geezers who are into the same music and think the same as him? I don't envy him at all. The only alternative is to get a bunch of session musicians, and fuck that for a game Of tennis. I mean, on the album I think he plays most of the guitar and the drummer from The Verve is still there. But we did see a bass stack with 'Pino Palladino' on it (bassist who has played with the likes of Paul Young and Eric Clapton) which does not bode well for the future. And if you're reading this, Richard, it's fucking wrong. Anyone with a fretless bass needs to have an arm put round them and be casually escorted towards the exit. Then kicked down the stairs. The next step is Paul Young and 'Wherever I Lay My Fucking Hat'. I'll do a solo album sooner or later, but I don't want to take it on the road."

Has Noel been anywhere recently where nobody recognised him? (Nikos Karathanasis, Athens, Greece)

Noel: "No, because there's English people all over the bastard world. I went to Thailand last year for two weeks and didn't venture outside the hotel the whole time. As soon as YOU go anywhere that has any sernblance to a pub anywhere near it it's, like, 'Oi oi! Fucking hell! Geezer!' I mean, I went all the way to Thailand and met two geezers from Camden Market fruit and veg. New York City is alright, you can go 48 hours without doing an autograph there until you meet an Irish person who wants to take you for a pint."

NME: Could you move there?

Noel: "No way, New York is the greatest city for me personally But I couldn't be there for more than two or three weeks, I just miss England. I miss the football, Match Of The Day, beans on toast."

Did you take the Supemova Heights sign with You when you left? (Heidi McColl, Ontario, Canada)

Noel: "No. I drove past there the other night and they've still left the graffiti on the wall, which is great. It's a little landmark in Belsize Park. I noticed that the Supernova Heights sign had gone, though."

NME: Did you take the mod jacuzzi?

Noel: "It wasn't a jacuzzi, it was just a bath. I got in there one night with the missus when I moved in and it took about four hours to fill up. Being the impatient bastard that I was, I was like, 'Fuck this. I can have a shower in two minutes.' I'd get in there and it'd have its own tide. I think it's still there, the testament to my stupidity. More money than sense? Oh I think so."

Name Your favourite film, TV show, book... (Rebecca G, Brighton)

Noel: "Film is Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. Book? I'm not big on books..."

Gem: "I'd go for The Wasp Factory by lain Banks."

Noel: "Student!"

Gem: "No, no, no.."

Noel: "Book would be the best of Viz. No, I'm not big on books' more biographies. The last good book I read was Revelations From The Memphis Mafia and it was Elvis' entourage and all their stories. It was brilliant. TV show? Top Of The Pops, probably. Or Sounds of The Sixties on UK Arena."

Gem: "I can't pinpoint one thing. Films: The Godfather, Jaws, Unfiorgiven, Serpico, Toy Story..."

Noel: "Nuns On The Run 2..."

Gem: Telly...when I was a kid it'd have to be The Six Million Dollar Man. Now I could miss anything. Tweenies is good."

Noel: "There's one on the Cartoon Network called Sponge Bug Square Pants! It's this little sponge bug and he's got chocolate square shorts and he lives at the bottom of the sea and it's about his adventures. Fucking mega! That's the best thing about having a kid. Legally, they can't touch me for watching cartoons all day. I sit there with me daughter and she can't even focus on it yet and I'm going, 'It's fucking brilliant!"'

Gem: "My Joe comes in and it's like, 'Dad! Simpsons!' I can't wait until he can tell what time things are actually on, like the TV guide."

Which cartoon character are you all most like? (Matt Tassell, Essex)

Noel: "Liam's the Tazmanian Devil. Andy Bell's the butler off The Munsters: doesn't say fuck all but when he does it's really funny. Alan is Cockney Wanker out of Viz. I'm Mr Burns off The Simpsons."

Gem: "We were saying that the other day. We were doing rehearsals without him 'cos he was ill and we were checking for bugs and hidden cameras. We could hear him from bed going, 'Do that again!...

Noel: "Gem's Scooby Doo."

What did you do on millennium nigh? (Gaby, New York City)

Noel: "I, if I can be a namedropping rock star, went round to Ronnie Wood's house and got totally pissed. And an amazing fact is that he's got this thing in his hallway, looks like a roulette table. It's a round thing with nails in and in the middle is a thing that you spin and on each point is a little Model of a horse with a jockey on it and on its tail is a feather. Each time that you spin it a feather catches on a nail, like a roulette machine. He was explaining it to me and I wanted to know what the point was. He said, '(Ronnie Wood voice) Well that, Noel, is where the term "having a flutter" comes from.' That made my night."

Gem: "I played board games in Birmingham. Very sober night."

Noel: "That's not what you told me, you lying c**t! You told me you went to Nigel from Dodgy's studio and rocked out all night!"

Gem: "That was the next night."

EastEnders or Coronation Street? (Ricky Sharma, Hove)

Noel: "EastEnders. Because nobody but nobody in the north had an accent like Ashley. I don't give a tuck what anybody says. There are no cobblestone roads in Manchester any more. And nobody owns hairdressing salons like that, there is no Jim McDonald. There's no Rovers Returns in Manchester because they are all crack houses. EastEnders I can sort of relate to."

Gem: "As soon as I hear those theme tunes I'm straight upstairs..."

Noel: "Yeah, to watch it on the big telly."

Why is Gem called Gem? (Adam Higson, Middlesbrough)

Gem: "My surname's Archer and there used to be a footballer called Archie Gemmill. I was nine..."

Noel: "There you have an insight into the minds of people from Middlesbrough. Frightening, isn't it?"

Gem: "With a hard 'G', please."

What is the best drug? (Eric Jones, Willington, USA)

Noel: "If you're talking about the best chemical drug then it's got to be alcohol because it's freely available, it's legal, it gets you shitfaced and you think you're Superman and fucking Jim Carrey rolled into one. But otherwise I'd have to say love, man. I think they're all good, actually. They all serve a purpose. Apart from crack and heroin which are pretty bad because they kill you; or in the case of crack you kill other people, ha' I've had good times on them all. As long as you use them in the right way and don't abuse them and don't let them tuck you up they're fucking top...D'yer hear that? That's the sound of a million tabloid journalists' pens going, 'Yes, Noel says drugs are top!...

NME: What about that 'drugs as normal as a cup of tea' fall-out?

Noel: "I always get in trouble for being honest. The twats with the microphones go 'thanks for your honesty' and then phone their editor and go, 'You'll never guess what he said this time!' But that was probably not the right analogy, that taking drugs was like having a cup of tea. But as soon as people accept that in this country we are in the midst of a massive drug culture and have been since the '80s the better. It's no big deal for most people. When kids go out on a Friday night they are taking drugs. Do you think people go to Ibiza to sip tea and sunbathe? Do they fuck! You can't go to a nightclub and dance for 12 hours with a bottle of Evian! You cannot! You've got to be fucked off your head on drugs, simple as that."

Gem: "There are people who go to the kebab shop on acid. We used to go on the golf course on acid."

Noel: "I only know five people who haven't taken drugs and that's my mam, me gran, me father-in-law, me mother-in-law, and my newborn baby. Everyone else, lawyers, doctors, or what have you, they've all got their heads down once in a while. Nothing wrong with it, all part of growing up."

Are you still bothered about conquering America? (Stacey Whitworth, Florida)

Noel: "All I know is that when we go to America we generally play to between five and ten thousand people. And that we sold five million albums out there last time. If that's not conquering America, what is? Ask Travis when they come back from supporting us because it's fucking hard work. You can't do one radio interview, be on the cover of the NME and have it at I over the country the next day. You have to work and in the beginning we were prepared to do that work. I suppose it paid off when 'Be Here Now' went in at Number Two. I do good enough for me out there. If it isn't good enough for the press that's their problem. The feedback I get is enough for me."

NME: Half the questions here are from America and Brazil.

Noel: "Brazil? We're massive in Brazil we are! We play to millions of people there."

Gem: "I've never been and Liam said it was heaven."

Noel: "All South America is top. They kept us from going there for three years. Marcus (Russell, manager) would never book us any gigs there because of the drugs. As soon as I signed the record deal the first thing I said was, 'Right, South American tour! What do you mean, the Water Rats? Fuck that! Stop me, MeGee, if you think I'm wrong but we do South America first, then we play the Water Rats.' 'Course McGee's going, '(Makes chopping movement on desktop and adopts Glasgow accent) Great man, tucking brilliant, I'm with yer!..."

What do you think about your aIbum being available free on the lntemet with MP3? (Paul Roe, UK)

Noel: "It's one of those things. I've heard the quality you get off one of those MP3s and it's not digital quality, that's bollocks. In five years when the quality has upgraded, I suppose you'll get good quality but I still believe in the symbolic thing of going to a record shop and buying it because it's your band. U2's next album will be on the Internet but who's going to put Cotton Mather's album up? No c**t. You've got to go find that for yourself. They said home taping would be the death of music..."

Gem: "I used to tape stuff and if I liked it I shelled out. It'll probably be like that."

Noel: "I think it's good for kids who live in Brazil who won't get the album for ages, and it's also dead expensive for them. They probably don't give a shit about the quality. It's supply and demand. I'm not quaking in me boots worrying about those 5,000 sales I'm missing. When we're 45 and not selling any records we'll be glad of the Intemet! We'll be putting our own albums out on it. And if it puts fat fuckers like Mick Hucknall out of business, then I'm all for it."

What's Your favourite biscuit? (Matt Roberts, Stockport)

Noel: "It's got to be the Chocolate Digestive, plain or milk. Unsurpassable in the biscuit world."

Gem: "True. But if you're feeling a bit fancy, perhaps a Hobnob."

Noel: "Ah, but when you're stoned all the little bitty bits get under your false teeth. Horrible. The Chocolate Digestive, though. I've had packets whilst stoned and watching Prisoner Cell Block H. Fantastic - those were the days."

If you could have one super human power, what would It be? (Alison Ray, Chicago)

Noel: "Go back and forth through time it will."

Gem: "To fly."

Noel: "Yeah, but you can fly when you're playing guitar, man."

Gem: "Yeah, man, I fly in my dreams every night and I rise above my troubles."

Noel: "I've seen you kiss the sky a few times, man."

"If you were PM, what would be the first thing you'd do? (Live Forever, Sweden)

Noel: "I would outlaw the Conservative Party and make it a criminal offence to be in the Conservative Party. I would make it a criminal offence to vote Conservative and a criminal offence to have relatives who are in the Conservative Party, and to be part of any royal family or to be a fucking lord or lady. I'd have the lot of the bastards shot. And if that's a bit too extreme, at least seriously maimed."

Gem: "There's your headline."

Noel: "Well...fuck 'em.

Gem: "I'd resign and install The Natural Law Party instead."

Noel: "Fuck that! I'd make it an offence to resign and to have The Natural Law Party put in instead."

Gem: "You're not having tantric flying?"

Noel: "Fuck. Right. Off. It's eating cross-legged and farting, all that shit."

That's how it ends: with Noel Gallagher PM insisting on criminalising the right of wing. Hard, but no doubt fair. Noel Gallagher Rock Star, meanwhile, has an appointment with the BBC to play his songs on Later With Jools Holland. On Sunday 'Go Let It Out' will top the chart with considerable ease. Next week Oasis start their world tour...And the questions for Oasis continue to pour into NME weeks after the closing date. Please stop now. It's over.

• New Musical Express Interview Articles - index

c 2000 Andrew Turner

aturner@interalpha.co.uk

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