Louise: The best place for presents is Japan. They take so much time. If you say in an interview you want a discman, it's there at the hotel the next morning.
Brian: If you sneeze on them, they give you a present.
What do you want this year then?
B: I want some furniture because I'm getting a new place.
L: I'm the same. My mum keeps asking me and I just want things for the flat. I'm really into photography, so, photo gear would be good.
B: I'd like a chaise longue to recline and be decadent on.
L: Nice! And if you ever want me to take your picture let me know.
B: Great! That's an offer there, I think.
L: I'll have to get a bit better first, I need to sort out my lighting.
Will you be watching the Queen's speech, burping happily with a tum of Xmas nosh?
B: I certainly will be not.
L: I'm not sure. It depends where I am. If I'm pottering around and it's on, yea, I'll watch it.
B: It's usually on about 3 isn't it? I'm usually still in bed.
L: You'll be having your Christmas dinner 7 at night? ha ha ha.
B: And as for the food it's hard, I don't eat meat.
L: I don't either, I haven't eaten meat for 5 years. My mum usually tries to get me to eat a bit of turkey.
B: I guess I'll be having frozen lasagne then.
Your favoured tipples?
B: I usually go for red wine.
L: I can't stand red wine.
B: Does it give you a headache.
L: No. It's the after taste. I rarely get drunk. It doesn't effect my brain, I just don't like the taste of it.
B: It's pretty bad for hangovers.
How about a cigar?
B: Nah, it would make me feel ill.
A big fat spliff then?
B: (whispers) Perhaps.
L: That's a NO from me!