Mental Tiptoes

This is a page containing a journal for our erstwhile hero, Marcus Abel. It is entirely fictional, has nothing to do with me, and just seemed like it'd be lots and lots of fun. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely intentional and meant to be there. So if it sounds like you and you know me, it probably is. ;)

June 19, 1998
I can hardly believe I'm doing this. This isn't something I'd normally do. But one night, I was sitting alone in my big comfy chair and I found my mind wandering, as it tends to do, and I realized... my God... my thoughts are incredibly important, insightful, and intensely fascinating! Everyone else in the world should be privy to these things. My duty as a human being demands that I share them with the world. Besides, I can quote everyone from Dr. Seuss to Socrates, so people can use me as a fount of wisdom.

So, for those of you fortunate enough to find your way here, drink and enjoy. Join me on what I like to call my mental tiptoeing. New entries will appear whenever I come up with something witty, wise, or otherwise worthy of sharing. Or just when I feel that urge that forever drives me to share my greatness.

June 24, 1998
Ah... once again, I feel the muses enter my body and urge me to take up my keyboard to share my mind with all of my loyal followers. I find myself hoping that my ex is reading this. She is a wonderful creature, beautiful and intelligent, delightful and charming. But we were too different to stay together. We're still friends, of course. Something in me wants her to read this. I want her to know what I'm doing, now that we're no longer together.

So I was doing my new girlfriend last Saturday. She's really rather good at it. It was incredibly pleasurable, passionate, and divine. I've never had it so good in my entire life. We went at it for two hours, stopped for some exotic foreign coffee and to discuss my recent breakup, then went at it again for another hour, before we stopped from exhaustion (and a little rash I'd rather not discuss). As she lay there sleeping, I watched. Such a beautiful, gentle human being she appeared to be. Almost like an angel, if such things can be said to exist. My thoughts quickly drifted to myself. Wrapped in the blankets, I felt like the snake shedding its skin. Each day, I shed my skin and am born anew. Each day, I am different. Tomorrow, this will not be my journal. It will be the journal of a new Marcus Abel. These thoughts will belong to someone else. I am not accountable for my actions of the past. Tomorrow, I will have made no mistakes. I will be an infant, nay, a babe. No one can accuse me of things done by my other self, my other skin.

   Kick, punch, jump, I got the funky flow..."
                           -Parappa the Rapper

You said it, brother...

October 6, 1998
Oh... oh, my children... what have I done? I've left you all alone for severl months. I dont know what I could've beeen thinking! I guess it wasn't all my fault... It couldn't be helped, for the Fates had taken me down a darker path than I had foreseen. Let me tell you the story, as I know your all interested in everything I have to tell about this.
I saw an old girlfriend. We used to be together in high school. We'd met on a wild school trip to New Mexico, where she'd introduced me to the mysteries of life. We'd gone together for a while, but it just didn't last. I went off to school, so did she. We parted, like a river, moistly. But I saw her again, sitting at a bar in a restaurant I frequent, and it was New Mexico all over again. We talked, nay chatted, for a short while. It wasn't the same. We were too different. She told me I was still the same... still a dork... but I didn't think so. We were different, both of us. Grown up like little trees in the park. The trees we used to sit under, lay under, make love under. I still remember the feeling of the pine needles. I still have the shirt you gave me, my dear... the one with the mud on the back...
But anyhow... I was feeling lousy after this. So I decided to get something pierced. I needed to feel new after being exposed to my past so nakedly. I was feeling old... so old. It all seemed so long ago, you see... like a lifetime had passed. I couldn't decid whatto pierce, but Fate decided for me. Ah Fate... I was looking at various ring-like metal piercings when (and I won't go into the hows and whys), I accidentally pierced my forehead. The pain was enormous, like the breaking of a heart, or perhaps like a really bad paper cut. I've been unconscious since...
I am sorry, my children, for leaving you for so long. I hope you all were able to breathe without me. I know it's hard for you to know how to live without me. I promise I shall never be away for so long again...

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[Totoro] Last modified on October 6, 1998 [Totoro]

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