Fast Forward In Time - Chapter 13

Early Friday, June 4 Th, 2007
Spencer Home

Lucky was having a nightmare. He was running through a field as fast he could to get to Elizabeth. She was standing at the edge of a cliff at the end of the field between Faison and Helena. Just as he was about to grab her they pushed her over the edge.

"ELIZABEEEETH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Elizabeth awoke to Luckys' screams. She took his face in her hands and carefully woke him up. "Lucky, baby, wake-up."

His eyes darted open and when he saw her he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Oh God!" he said sobbing. "You were there with those Bastards, and they pushed you! I couldn't save you! I didn't get there in time!"

Elizabeth pulled away from him and wiped his tears from his face and lips. "I'm okay. I'm right here with you," she said softly as she took his hand and placed it over her heart. "Feel that? I'm safe, see?"

He pulled her into a hard kiss and then wrapped his arms around her again. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Not after everything we went through so that you could be safe. I stayed so you could be safe."

Elizabeth held him as tightly as he was holding her. "I am safe Lucky."

She moved so that she was lying on top of him in the bed and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat return to normal. When she glanced up at him he had fallen back to sleep.

>>>>>

Webber Home

That evening Elizabeth and Lucky were lying on her couch after watching a movie. Lucky was laying soft kisses on her neck sending chills up her spine. Ever since this morning, she had wanted to show him her journals. She hadn't mentioned them to him since he was back in her life, but after this morning she felt she needed to. She wanted him to know that he wasn't alone for all those years, she had been with him the entire time.

She turned to face him on the couch. "Lucky?"

Lucky smiled at her and stroked her face. "Hmm?"

"Do you remember the dream you had this morning?"

Lucky looked at her confused. "No, what dream?"

"It was something about Helena and Faison hurting me! You don't remember?"

He thought for a moment, "No, I don't."

"Well, you said something about not being able to save me and I have been thinking about it all day." Her eyes were filling with tears.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He went to hug her and she stopped him.

"You didn't. I mean I was upset but it was for you, not because of you," she laid her hand on his face. "I want to give you something."

He stopped her from getting off the couch, "If you've bought me another pair of jeans…"

She laughed at him. "No, I didn't. I want to give you the last eight years of my life. I want to give you my heart."

Lucky looked at her nervously, "What do you mean?"

She laughed at the expression on his face. "Come on. I'm not going to tear your clothes off."

"Awww!" he said as they went up over the stairs, both of them laughing.

When they entered her room she led him to the bed. "Sit down," she commanded.

"Yes master!" he said saluting her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"You might want to make yourself more comfortable." She pulled a box out from underneath her bed.

Lucky moved back on the bed as she laid the box in front of him. "What are those?"

She sat on the bed and pulled the books out of the box. "This is the eight years of my life that I spent without you. There is a book for every year, and at least a page for everyday."

Lucky picked up a book that said ‘Year 1' on the front. He couldn't believe she had done the exact same thing he had done. "Elizabeth," he looked at her, "I have journals too."

She looked at him. "What?"

He reached over and took her hands. "I have journals about my life too. One for every year and at least a page for everyday."

She smiled as the tears began to fall from their eyes. "Oh my God! Where are they? Did you bring them with you when we left Faisons'?"

He got up from the bed and went to Sarahs' old room. He had put them there, waiting for the right time to give them to her. When he came back with the books in his hands, he laid them on the bed next to hers.

She stood up next to him and took his hands in hers. "Do you want to start reading them now?"

Lucky looked at the books and then back to Elizabeth. He leaned in and softly kissed her, "Yeah, I do. This could take a while so I'll call mom and tell her we're staying here tonight so she doesn't worry."

After he had hung up the phone he sat on the bed next to her and picked up the first book. They looked at eachother, took deep breaths and were about to begin reading when Elizabeth put her hand over the book Lucky was holding. "Wait!"

Lucky turned to her with a confused look. "What's wrong?"

Elizabeth got up off the bed and picked up all of Luckys' journals. "Nothing. I'm gonna go read these in Grams' old room."

"Why?" he asked her.

"Because, I think we should be alone when we read them. I need to go back there with you. I need to be there with your feelings then. It'll be easier to get lost in them if your not sitting next to me. I need to feel what you did and I want you to feel what I did." She walked back to him and kissed him, "I love you."

"I love you too." he said as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Lucky turned to the first page of the first book.

April 20th, 1999
How am I supposed to go on without you? How am I supposed to live without you? You are everything to me. My heart, my soul, my future. I don't know what to do. I can't eat, sleep, think. I can't even breathe. Please come back to me! I need to hear you say my name but I can't listen to the tape you made me. I'm sorry I just can't. It hurts to much. So much that my head and my heart feel like they are going to crumble from the weight of the pain…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
May 19th, 1999
I miss you so much. I feel is if I am being torn in two. It has been only a month and it already feels like years. I want so much to feel you in my arms. Without you in them they seem useless. What is their purpose if it isn't to hold you? Elizabeth, please don't forget me. PLEASE…

>>>>>

To Lucky
June 14th, 2000
Your mom is so sad. She wants so desperately to have you back. So do I. I wish now that we had made love that night in New York. I wanted you so much. But I held back. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment. Now, here I am all alone. I now you are out there some where. I just know it...

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
February 14th, 2000
It is the anniversary of your rape and I wonder if you are alone. I saw you the other day. Faison had a camera on you while you were on the docks. You looked so incredible. I can't believe that this time last year we were together, giving ourselves to the other with words in front of God…

>>>>>

To Lucky
April 19th, 2000
It has been a year since you left me. It has been a year since I died. That is how I feel today. Dead. I can't tell anyone that I know you are still alive. They would think I was crazy. I don't know what to do with my life Lucky. What do I do without you?

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
April 19th, 2001
I can't believe I haven't touched you in two years. I can still feel your lips on mine. I would give my own life for just one more chance to touch you. One more chance. I need to get back to you but I can't Elizabeth, they would hurt you and I couldn't live with that...

>>>>>

To Lucky
December 25th, 2001
This is my third Christmas without you and it isn't getting any easier. I asked for the same thing I did last year, and the year before. For you to come home. Please, I am begging on my hands and knees. You should be here with me, with your family...

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
March 22nd, 2002
I feel as though I am drowning. I can't let you go. If I do, if I say good-bye, I will die. You are the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins, the beating of my heart. Without you, I'm nothing. I want to feel complete again. I need it so bad.

>>>>>

To Lucky
August 5th, 2002
I had the most amazing dream last night Lucky. You were making love to me. It was so gentle at first, but then it got so passionate. When I woke up I could still feel you touching me, kissing me. It seemed so real…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
October 9th, 2002
…I need you so much. I want you so bad. Faison gave me a picture of you this morning. You were wearing your hair up again and you had an incredibly tight shirt on with jeans. You looked so good. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be writing this but I can't help it. My mind runs away on me. I get so worked up just thinking about you. I imagine you so vividly that my body immediately reacts. God! What would I do if I got the chance to make love to you? I'd probably pass out for lack of air…

>>>>>

To Lucky
January 6th, 2003
I painted another picture today. It's of us inside Kellys'. I was sitting at a table listening to the juke box and I was remembering our dance the last night we spent together. I got inspired. The picture turned out really well. You have this incredible smile on your face…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
June 3rd, 2003
I dreamt of our wedding last night. You looked so beautiful Elizabeth. Just like an angel. When we kissed at the end of the ceremony I woke up because I could actually feel your lips on mine. I expected to see you lying next to me, and when you weren't I started crying…

>>>>>

To Lucky
April 20th, 2004
I went to your empty grave last night. I felt just like I did the first time I heard you were dead. Like I wanted to die too. But you're not dead!!! I need you back Lucky. Please, please, please, please,…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
February 14th, 2004
…I often find myself wondering if you have found someone new to love. I am pretty sure that you haven't. Not because I am so great, but because Faison would have rubbed it in my face by now. If you have, it'll kill me when I find out, but if you are happy then I'll try to be too…

>>>>>

To Lucky
September 17th, 2005
When I got out of the shower this morning I stared at my naked body in the mirror. I wondered what you would think of it, how you would react to it, if it would turn you on. I have been working out lately like I mentioned the other day, so my muscles are getting toned. I closed my eyes and imagined your hands and your mouth exploring and touching me everywhere. I kept whispering your name over and over, Lucky, Lucky,…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
November 1st, 2005
…when I last saw you. I love you still. I love you like I did and I love you more. You are the reason I haven't lost my mind. Thoughts of being with you, holding you in my arms, kissing your lips, and touching your body keep me alive. But more then anything, I need to hear you say my name over, and over, and over,…

>>>>>

To Lucky
March 12th, 2006
I saw your parents and Lu-Lu today. They are so happy. But like me, they are incomplete. They won't be a family until you are home. I don't know how you are. I don't know if you are hurt or if you have forgotten me. It tears me up inside to think that you have been alone for all these years. I need to tell you that you're not. I'm right there with you. I couldn't let go even if I tried…

>>>>>

To Elizabeth
July 16th, 2006
I miss you so much. Faison gave me another picture of you today. I held it close to my face and I swore I could hear you telling me you love me. I want to hear you say it so bad. It has been so long since I have heard your voice and it is tearing me up inside. He won't let me hear you, he barely ever lets me see you anymore. Why is this happening? What did I do?…

>>>>>

My Dearest Lucky,

I am watching you play soccer with your sister right now as I sit on the porch writing this. You look so beautiful. Your eyes are lit up and your smile is radiant. You look like you always did in my dreams when you were away. I knew that you would come back to us. I believed it with everything I am. I knew that God would never take you from this earth until you were finished your mission. You see, you are an angel sent from above. You are the best there is of life and you weren't ready to leave. Not then. Maybe not ever.

I LOVE YOU!

Yours forever and the day after that

Elizabeth

>>>>>

Elizabeth My Love,

Sitting on the chair in your livingroom watching you sleep, I am overwhelmed at your beauty. You look so peaceful. I have been watching you sleep at night since I came home and it fills my heart every time. I could spend the rest of my life staring at you. You just shifted and said my name. I wonder what it is I am doing in your dream that is making you softly smile. I hope I always make you smile. I promise to you that I will do everything in my power to accomplish that for the rest of our lives.

I LOVE YOU!

Yours forever and the day after that

Lucky

>>>>>

It was late evening on Saturday when they finished reading. Neither one of them had slept or eaten after they had started. They had both been to involved in the secret thoughts being revealed. They laughed and cried, together, alone.

Elizabeth got up off the bed and walked through the door of the master bedroom. As she was reaching for the doorknob on the door to her own room it opened. When Lucky saw her he slowly pulled the door completely open. They stood staring at eachother for a couple of seconds before Lucky held his hand out to her. As she placed her hand in his the tears that had almost dried began to fall again. They never took their eyes off eachother as they walked towards Elizabeths' bed. Lucky took her into his arms when they were lying down and kissed her softly. They put their foreheads together, and with their arms wrapped around eachother they drifted off to sleep.