BY SOLO
EPISODE 2
So what was happening to our hero last time we tuned in??
Oh yes...when we last left the beautiful young woman,
she was floating three meters above
the ground being drawn continously closer to the bizarre
ship hovering above her backyard.
We join the young woman this week after she has been sucked
into the enterance hall of
the Titanic II. Unfortunately she had fallen asleep during
the incrediably tedious and
stratched out trip. We find her lying, sleeping-beauty-like
on the cold metallic floor, just
inside the Titanic II's front door. Kneeling beside her
is a strangely dressed man whose
appearance is not unlike that of a balding, little strangely
dressed man - basically because
he is a balding, little strangely dressed man.
the balding strangely dressed man lightly pushes the
young woman's shoulder. Nothing
happens.
He lightly pushes against the young woman's shoulder
again and whispers, "Wake up,
wake up." Nothing happens. Finally he blocks her nose
and shouts in her ear. "HEY YOU!!"
Finding herslef unable to breathe and being rudely awakened
by a strange and annoyingly
high pitched voice yelling in her ear, the young woman
struggles back to conciousness.
"Go away!" she mutters and rolls over - away from the
presence hovering at her side.
"Wake up!" the voice insists again. This time she finally
forces her eyes to open and rolls
onto her back. She stares around the room intently. Where
am I? she wonders. Finally, she
catches sight of the strangely dressed man kneeling by
her side and is hard pressed not to
laugh out loud.
"Who are you?" she asks.
"Who are you?" he asks.
"I asked first," she states.
"I asked second," he replies.
"I'm Solo." Solo says finally, after sitting, staring
blankly at the strange man for several long,
empty moments.
"I'm Flacco, yip!" says Flacco.
"Of course you are," Solo says in a resigned voice -
obviously she was in one of those
wierd dreams where everything is confusing and no one
makse sense.
Deciding to play along with it for now she asks, "Where
am I?"
"On board the Titanic II, Shitsu Tonka's museum of History."
"No I'm not," Solo denys.
"Yes you are," Flacco demands.
"No, I'm not, because the Titanic II was really a shithouse
model of a submarine used in the
tV series DAAS KAPITAL over 8 years ago." Ha ha deny
that one mate!
"Yes, but what makes you think that the model used in
that TV series was not based on a
real futuristic submarine sponsored by a futuristic company
called Shitsu Tonka??"
"I don't know."
"Ha ha, well then, that's where you are now!"
"But I can't be."
"Why not?" demanded Flacco, starting to get annoyed.
"Because, DAAS KAPITAL was set in 2006 and the year today
is 1998."
"So, we had a little accident. The boys were playing
around with an old Shitsu Tonka relic
time machine and kind of shot the whole Titanic II back
in time."
"Oh," Solo answered. What else was there to say? Oh yeah!
"So why am I here and who
brought me on board?"
"I did, and I brought you here A, to send us back to
the future and B, to keep the boys
company...they've been stuck on this ship for three years
with just themselves and me. Oh
and Psycho Bob but I won't mention him caus I don't want
to scare you. Quite frankly and i'm
not frank by the way, If you don't prove a distraction
to the boys, they'll either kill each other
or start shagging me!"
"Oh," Solo said again. What was there to say to that?
"Just how do i send this crate...I
mean ship back forward in time?"
"Well, I don't know, that's why I brought you here...to
figure that out. Now, I have to get back
to my box - you'd better go find the lads and let
them know that you are here. Don't lower
your guard around them for a moment, you may have
it stolen from you and don't turn your
back on the bean pole or the midget. Don't worry,
you can talk to the other one...that's all he
every does. Oh and one last thing...Don't open
the red door." And with that, Flacco stood up
- walked over to a box in the corner and as the
young woman watched, shrunk until finally he
disappeared inside the box.
Slowly Solo got to her feet. Oh well, might as
well go and have a look around, she thought.
Looking down, she saw an arrow painted on the floor
and inside the arrow were painted the
words..."to have a look around, go thissaway."
"Okay," Solo said and walked down the corridor
in the direction the arrow pointed...
What will happen next?
Just how the hell was Solo supposed to send the Titanic
II back into the future?
Who are the Bean pole, the midget and the other one?
What mysterious danger lies beyond the red door?
And why the hell does Flacco live in a box?
For the answers to these incrediably boring questions
and more...stay tuned for the next
insomnia inducing episode of DAAS KAPITAL REVIVED.