7 October 1999

Sunnydale is a thing of the past. We boarded the plane just over two hours ago and everyone else has given in to the allure of sleep. I managed to convince a friend -- albeit a very wealthy friend -- to loan me his plane, complete with blackened windows, for the journey. (He is one of the same thinking as my peers and I are, but he likes to remain unaffiliated with any group.) It took a little planning but in the end, it was the only way to ensure Spike's safety. There was no way to time it so that he would not be in danger of the sun's rays. The flight is just too long and I did not want to break the journey up. I dislike being on planes. Boarding one once in a week is way more than enough.

I fear that Willow and Spike will probably be shocked by my lifestyle when we arrive in Italy. They have become accustomed to my somewhat sparse and modest appearance that I projected in Sunnydale to fit in and not seem intimidating. In fact, they are probably expecting a somewhat modest home like the one we occupied on the Hellmouth. While I am not rich enough to own a jet, I have more than my share of wealth. My home is quite extravagant (even for my tastes, but Darien decorated) and is well staffed. It may be a little overwhelming for them at first but there is a homey atmosphere.

As for Darien, I know I have avoided mentioning him in the past. Well, not necessarily avoided, but omitted. Darien just happens to be the most current in a long string of lovers. I do not delude myself that he will be a permanent fixture in my life. Mortality might not separate us but human nature will. We will continue change and inevitably grow apart. However, we still have many years together and I plan to savor them. I have grown fond of him as I have few others and greatly attribute my continued existence to his initial friendship. Without his guidance, my anger would have never subsided and my hunt for vengeance would have eventually led to my death.

As soon as we arrive home, I plan to continue Willow's training schedule. In the past few weeks, I have been negligent in my duties. However, considering what the Savior has had to go through in the last few days, it was for the best. My usual plans would have drained her more than necessary -- over taxed her emotion and physical well being.

I have so many things that I wish to show the Savior. I want her to become aquatinted with the small villages that dot the valleys of the majestic slopes of the Alps, as well as the splendid fashion boutiques of Milan. I hope that revealing such poverty and then revealing such lavish wealth, will give her the experience and perspective on life that she is missing. Though Willow is wise beyond her years, she still has perceptions that are all too human. While her humanity may set her apart, the ingrained stigmas that she possesses from her society will not aid her in the future. She needs to have her horizons broadened.

I have just looked at my watch. Only a few more hours left on this contraption. Thank Goddess.

*****

Buffy silently approached the house. She wanted to talk to Willow before she left. She had to convince Willow that she couldn't leave. Willow was needed In Sunnydale. She couldn't just leave.

The slayer pressed the doorbell, collecting her thoughts. The argument ahead of her was going to be very hard to win. Kaleell's case for the departure of her best friend was pretty solid, but Buffy was confident. She had to win because she was right.

Moments passed. She pushed the doorbell again, for a longer period of time. After a minute, she heard footsteps. They must not have heard her the first time.

The door opened to reveal a suit clad man that she had never seen before. "Hello, may I help you?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes, carefully inspecting him. Must be one of Kaleell's friends. "Yes, I'm here to see Willow."

The man cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to inform you this, miss, but the previous occupants left early this morning. Miss Charan hired me to put all of her affairs regarding the house in order."

"They're gone?" a shocked Buffy asked, barely above a whisper. NO! Willow couldn't have left her. She needed Willow.

"Yes," the man answered. "I wish that I could give you some more information, but Miss Charan requested that all details regarding the sale remain between our company and her lawyer. Is there anything else that I may help you with?"

"No," she replied faintly. "Thank you."

After the man closed the door, Buffy stumbled down the front steps. She collapsed to her knees in the front lawn as the news struck her fully. Tears streamed down her face and her breathing was ragged. Her best friend was gone and was likely never to come back. The worst part about it was that she hadn't even said good-bye.

*****

I had awakened shortly after we took off from New York, where we had stopped to refuel. The flight proved to be incredibly boring. While opening a window shade toward the back of the plane (as to not afflict Spike with damaging sunlight) and watching the clouds fly by, was amusing my contentment lasted for all of about five minutes before I was agitated again. I slammed the shade close and started to pace. This was not my first flight on a plane and I loved to fly, but I had never been on such a long flight, nor had I been on a private plane. At least on a commercial flight, I could people watch or see a movie.

"Willow," Kaleell called to me gently as I passed her seat for the thousandth time. "Sit down. You're making me nervous." She took a sip of the drink the in her hand and nodded to the numerous empty seats.

I plopped down in a chair beside her. "How much longer, do you think?"

She glanced at her watch. "About three more hours. You'll appreciate this leisurely pace when we land."

I grinned. "Planning on becoming my slave driver?"

Kaleell shook her head. "Not any worst than I was in Sunnydale. You're a quick learner, I don't need to drive you hard... Life just moves so much faster when I'm home. The days are shorter and all of you're waking hours will be filled meeting Darien and the others, adjusting to the climate, training and," she glanced over to the sleeping vampire occupant, "dealing with Spike."

I giggled softly. "But that's what I do all the time. So who's Darien?"

Kaleell sighed. "Darien is...well, my lover of sorts." She took another swallow of her beverage.

"Of sorts?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Neither one of us is very good at monogamy."

I stared at her. Kaleell didn't seem to be the cheating kind. I couldn't imagine her with a pack of lovers -- a harem.

She scowled at me darkly. "Don't look at me like that. Darien is not the love of my life. He never was and he will never be. Nor am I his love. But we are companions. Perhaps, someday you will understand." She shrugged.

"Explain to me?" At her reluctant look, I added, "Please?"

Kaleell sighed. "A long time ago, I found my...soul mate, so to speak. We were like the great lovers -- we complemented each other perfectly. I loved him very, very much and would have died for him without blinking an eye." She paused, taking another taste of her drink. "Eventually, as it is among mortal couples, one of us had to die and return to the earth from which we sprung."

Kaleell turned her face away from me and stared at the empty rows in front of us. "I took his death very hard. It was like losing a limb -- like a piece of my soul had been ripped from my body. It took me years to get over his death and developing a relationship with somebody else was one of them. There comes a point in time in which you will realize that love is not the ultimate goal. Love, though wonderful, is not something that you develop for everyone. Nor is it something that you wish to have for all. Companionship, socialization, being able to be with someone who drives away your loneliness...that is what I and many other immortals are striving for. Our expanded life spans alienate us from the normal world. Most of us have trouble making connection with humans because we know that they will not last very long. It might not make much sense to you now, but one day you will value the company of one who you might not love but you have mutual understanding with."

My eyes narrowed. "So you're saying that cynicism will deteriorate my morality enough to sleep with just anybody?

Kaleell chuckled. "Your strongest asset, Willow dearest, is your unwavering morals tempered with your willingness to forgive. I doubt that anything will ever change you. However, the only problem that I see is that your morals, much like the values that have been driven into you since the day you were born, focus too much on sexual relationships. Being a noble and good person seldom has to do with who or what one is sleeping with. It is the ability to stay as far away from negative energy, to help those who are less fortunate, to be the best person that one can aspire to be... That is what makes you a good person. Some of the best people I have known have had some of the strangest sexual practices known to men and demons alike."

"Then in your eyes, a whore can be a saint?" I countered. I had a hard time seeing Kaleell's point. How could someone who is sexually corrupt, not be morally corrupt as well? I had always been taught that sexual deviance always equated negative energy,

Kaleell laughed softly again. "No, child, that is not what I am saying at all. Nobody is a definite saint. True there are those who come close, but no one can truly reach that level of perfection. What I am saying is that anyone, even the common whore, can achieve nobility by living their lives to the best of their ability. Not everyone who is considered a 'whore' chose to be that way. Circumstances corrupt. But if one can rise above them to do something good with their lives, then they are good people."

I sighed in frustration.

Kaleell smiled. "I do not expect you to understand. You are very young and inexperienced. But one day when you are confronted with this stereotypical 'whore,' I hope that you will remember my words."

Kaleell tilted her glass back and finished her drink. Excusing herself, she slid past me and went into the 'kitchen' area of the plane. With a sigh, I reclined my seat and gazed at the ceiling as Kaleell's words danced in my head.

***

As I stepped out of the airport, I was happy that Kaleell had advised me to dress warmly. The cool mountain air nipped at my exposed skin causing me to shiver. Noticeably. Spike laughed softly and wrapped an arm around me. Though he offered no body heat, he did provide some protection from the wind.

"Benvenuto, signorina," a small Italian man called a he approached us.

Kaleell turned and smiled at the man warmly. She clasped his hand in one of hers and began speaking to the man rapidly in Italian. Spike and I stood watching them. Spike followed their conversation and punctuated it with the occasional comment, which generally garnered a glare from Kaleell. I, on the other hand, stood there silently, hoping that I would be able to pick up the language of this land quickly.

Finally, Kaleell turned to me. "Willow, this is signore Cestero. He is in charge of my affairs here in Italy."

I offered my hand and he firmly accepted it. "It is a pleasure to meet you, signorina," the man said in heavily accented English. "If there is anything that you need while you are here, just let me know. I will do everything in my power to see that you are satisfied."

I smiled at the signore. "Thank you. I'm sure that I'll have everything that I'll need."

Spike was introduced to the signore as well, but in a less formal manner. It was obvious that the lawyer knew that Spike was a vampire because he took extra efforts to display his cross. Spike returned the welcome just as coldly and the two men glared at each other.

"Come on, let's go. It's cold out here." Kaleell must have noticed my shivering.

The signore nodded and gestured to a driver standing by a large vehicle. The man hurried over and quickly relieved us of our bags, quickly loading them into the roomy trunk. He then opened both the back and passenger doors. Kaleell, Spike and I slid into the surprisingly comfortable back seat, while the signore took his place in the passenger seat.

I leaned my head back against the seat as the driver started the car.

"Are you all right, luv?" Spike asked softly, leaning into my ear.

"Yes...no..." I sighed raggedly. "I don't know. All of this is just..."

"Different," Spike supplied.

I nodded.

"You'll be fine, ducks," he reassured me.

Kaleell's sharp senses must have allowed her to hear our whisperings. "Don't worry, Willow," she said, placing a soothing hand on my arm. "It might seem awkward at first, but I'll do everything in my power to help you adjust. Besides, I know you will love it here. Ever been skiing?"

I shook my head.

She smiled. "You will, dearest, you will. There are so many things that I cannot wait to show you."

I returned her smile as I allowed my companions' comfort wash over me. I couldn't give up my optimism yet; I doubt I had seen the worst of what I was destined for.