October 1999

I find it funny that humans always go into mass panic, thinking that the world is going to end, with every millennia that passes. Their precious computers crashing or a few terrorists will not bring the end of humanity. The world still turned when there wasn't computers and will continue to turn long after they are gone. Terrorism has always existed and unless we have a nuclear meltdown, humanity will go on. Then, of course, there are the doomsday wackos that believe the second coming of the lord is here and that God will destroy the world. I admit that I am the farthest thing away from being Christian, but I do know that the Book of Revelations -- the same pages of text the doomsday theorists refer to -- tell men not to seek the time the world will end. Of course, men never have listened. They would rather run around like chickens with their heads cut off. If they only knew the danger that awaits them in the meantime.

Sunnydale has become too dangerous to house the Savior. It is time to move on. I have already made plans to transport Spike, Willow and I to northern Italy. Very few demons, remote and milder climate...heaven compared to this chaos. Plus it will be good to go... Well, to what I consider home. My birthplace has become unknown to me with the changes of time but I call my estate in the Alps home.

Willow will not be pleased. She knows that it is too dangerous here but it will be hard for her. She has lived in Sunnydale all of her life. Spike will, fortunately, be indifferent. I think he hates Sunnydale as much, if not more, than I have come to in the last months.

On another note, I have ceased to understand or have insight into Willow's and Spike's actions. One day, I see them kissing and the next they go back to being "just friends," if that. I don't think either of the realize that it's too late. They are already much more than friends.

I may be older that the creation of almost everything that exists today, but I still don't understand relationships.

*****

I was surprised to walk into the library and find Spike sitting on the sofa. Kaleell had left me a note asking me to meet her here around midnight. She must have left sometime last night because she has been gone all day, which is not like her at all. It must be something important. Joy.

I glanced warily at Spike. Ever since the incident in the training room, things have been...weird between us. Spike avoids me if at all possible, and he certainly doesn't touch me. He makes me mad and confused at the same time. If the kiss hadn't been so wonderful, I would wish that it had never happened. But it was wonderful and it did happen.

Spike looked up and met my eyes. I held my breath as he studied me. His gaze was penetrating and ice cold. Shivers traveled up my spine. Finally he smiled and his eyes softened.

"Come 'ere, Willow," he ordered, patting the space beside him.

I moved from the doorway and sat down. I was surprised to feel his arm slowly wrap around me and settle lightly on my shoulders. Since we kissed, he has avoided all physical contact with me. He gently pulled me closer to him so that my head rested on his shoulder.

"Did you get a note from Kaleell?" I asked him, turning my gaze upward to his face. My wariness was forgotten...for the moment.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled.

"Do you know why?" I asked.

"Not exactly, luv," he muttered, pulling me closer to him. "I have a good idea though."

Suddenly, the anger that had been brewing inside of me bubbled to the surface. I pushed myself away from him.

"It must be something awful. You're acting like you actually like me for a change," I spat at him.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean, ducks?" Spike asked wearing a bemused look on his face.

"What does it mean? It means that ever since that one little kiss, you seem like you hate me. You never want to spend any time with me. You hardly speak to me. What the hell is your problem?"

Spike looked at me sadly. He pushed himself up from the sofa and went over to the sole window in the room. He stared out into the night for several minutes, leaving me to sit there eagerly waiting his response.

Finally, Spike turned around. "The problem is," he began slowly, "that the 'one little kiss' was not just some little kiss."

My eyes narrowed. "You're right."

Spike grinned crookedly. "I lost control. I heard your blood pound through your veins enticingly. Your body called to me. I wanted to..." He stopped, not finishing the sentence and moved so that he was standing directly in front of me. He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my chin up, so that I met his eyes. His hand slid to the side of my face and he lightly rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"It would have been so easy for me to pierce your skin with my fangs and drain you...especially after so many months or bottled blood. "We - I cannot lose control and take chances. You're not immortal yet."

I simply gazed up at him as the implications of his last statement hit me. I slapped his hand away from my cheek.

"Okay. I get it," I spat. "As long as I'm immortal and alive to save your ass and the rest of the world, you'll want to *be* with me. But as long as I'm still given to mortality, and your ass may potentially be on the line, you're gonna act like a prick.

Pushing past him, I stood and exited the room quickly.

"Willow!" Spike shouted after me.

His call went unanswered.

**

About an hour after my confrontation with Spike, I heard voices outside my bedroom door. I would have gone somewhere else but I had no where else to go.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Kaleell demanded from the other side of the wall.

"I..." Spike started.

Kaleell sighed roughly, cutting him off. "I'll deal with you later."

Someone rapped lightly on my door.

"Willow?" Kaleell asked softly. "May I come in?"

"No," I grumbled, my head buried in a pillow. I hadn't moved from my bed, where I had sprawled out earlier.

The door opened and closed lightly. Kaleell moved across the room and sat down on my bed.

"I didn't say you could come in," I mumbled.

"It's a good thing I don't need an invitation then, isn't it?" she asked lightly.

"Humph," was my only response.

Kaleell reached out and began to stroke my back soothingly. "Do you want me to hurt him for you?

"Yes."

Kaleell laughed. "Maybe I should rephrase that. Did Spike do anything to you that I need to hurt him for?"

"Does pissing me off and confusing me count?"

"No."

"Damn."

"That's mean of you. Maybe you can get Buffy to hurt him. She would probably do so, willingly."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea." I laughed softly.

Kaleell smiled. "It had to be good. I have some news and you're not going to like it.

I sighed. "Figures."

Kaleell fell silent for a minute. Her hand on my back continued to soothe me.

"I have just come from making arrangements for us to move on, Willow," Kaleell intoned softly. "It's time to leave."

Silence fell over us again.

Finally, I broke the solitude. "When?" I asked.

"End of the week."

I digested her answer. "Where are we going?"

"Northern Italy -- you'll like it."

I nodded. "I knew we were going to have to leave, I just hoped we would have more time."

Kaleell smiled. "I wish we could, Willow, but we cannot. I'm sorry."

She got up off of my bed and began to leave. As she was about to go through the door, she turned and faced me.

"Give Spike a chance to explain. You might be surprised. And I can almost guarantee that you'll be happy you did."