True to my word, I visited Ms. Rosenburg several times in the months after our initial meeting until she died. I looked forward to every meeting. We became good friends. Ms. Rosenburg gave me constant advice and I gave her companionship. She became the mother figure I never had. My mother was... excuse me, *is* a lush and let us just leave at that.

Ms. Rosenburg always had something new to teach me. She saw things for how they really were. She was constantly teaching me how to view life differently. She often agreed with my cynical views, but gave me her realist perspective. Ms. Rosenburg truly helped shape the person I am today.

I often suspected that Ms. Rosenburg knew all my secrets, especially my biggest one. I wouldn't doubt it if she had know from the beginning. I never brought it up (I picked most of our conversation topics) and neither did she. If she knew, she knew and if she didn't, it was better off that way.

Most of our discussions were revolved around Watcher politics. At that time, I was just beginning to figure out ways to change that system that the watchers used. I, as a member of a predominant line, was destined to be a Council member and carried a little weight in the society but not nearly enough. I had just been made a full fledged Watcher soon after our first meeting. I was a newbie.

Ms. Rosenburg guided me through the first steps in moving up the political ladder. She revealed to me who to make friends with, who to tolerate and who to snub, and slowly I developed the skill for this myself. She taught me how to conceal my dislike of people who's approval I needed. She made me the dynamic Watcher I turned out to be. For that, I am eternally grateful. Without her guidance, I would never have prospered as I have.

Before I met her, the fact that I thought that demons could be valuable to the Slayer were shrugged off. Now, that my theory had more weight behind it and that I was more persistent in convincing other people of the fact, I was bringing more attention to myself. I was very uncomfortable with that attention.

One of our last conversation sticks out in my mind, and I feel I must share it with you. We were talking over the obstacles I was facing with the few people I had started the combined theories of Ms. Rosenburg and I. Or rather I was bitching about them and Ms. Rosenburg was trying to reassure me that I was doing the right thing.

"One of the biggest arguments I've had against me is what defines a demon as good... or evil for that matter. After all, demons are fallen angels who were selfish and jealous humans. It's completely logical to be skeptical that they hold any good will for mortals," I told her.

Ms. Rosenburg pondered the challenge. "Nothing is totally wicked. Everything evil has the capacity to be *good,* if they desire to be. Some demons' natures are to get rid of anything with a shred of humanity on this earth. Some demons' natures are the complete opposite. They only wish to enjoy the advantages of humans and most dislike the other demons. Then there are the ones that can go either way. Just like humans. How do we know that the people we surround ourselves with aren't detrimental? We don't. We take our chances."

"Ah, yes. But why take the chance?" I asked.

Ms. Rosenburg smiled. Sometimes I could be our biggest opponent, despite the fact the I wholly believed in what we were advocating. "We take chances every day on man. Why shouldn't we do it with demons? If a demon is going to kill you then, more than likely, it's just going to come out and kill you.

"Any demon who wants to get close to the Slayer, like a watcher or a helper, should indeed go through all the processes that a watcher must go through. I'm not saying that this will be fool proof -- nothing is -- but the system for screening humans isn't either. A human is more likely deceive than any demon." Ms. Rosenburg finished her spiel, with a sigh.

"A demon is more likely to be loyal to the Slayer," I repeated. I raised a questioning brow. "Is that so?"

Ms. Rosenburg smiled. She knew I knew the answers to my questions and that I was just testing my limits. "If a demon were to betray others enough to get close to the Slayer, I doubt that any other fiends would be receptive to the betrayer. They'd probably kill it or make it wish it was dead."

I sighed tiredly. The last few weeks had been particularly difficult on me. Trying to win converts had been hard. "I'll never get anyone behind me. I'm going to be the jester of the Council. They'll slaughter me. I'm as good as dead. Kill me now."

Ms. Rosenburg rolled her eyes. At times, I acted worst than a spoiled child and was a royal pain in the ass. Still do when the mood strikes.

"They won't kill you. They may torture and maim you, but they won't kill you." My head shot up. "Just kidding. You know as well as I that anything physical is frowned on by most watchers. They'd rather debate prophecies than do anything to break a sweat. The only physical activity considered *proper* is when the watcher is learning to train a slayer or when they are training a slayer."

I laughed slightly, still wallowing in self misery. "They'll still skin me alive."

"I doubt that..." Ms. Rosenburg exhaled heavily. "If you think that it is going to be that bad, don't do it! Don't stand up for what you believe in. You have to live with the consequences. I don't."

We sat in thick silence, for minutes. I was shocked at her words, but I knew she was right. It all came down to whether I was going to be a selfish bitch and take the easy road or fight. I wanted to take the hard road, and I wanted to take the easy road, but I knew in the end it was the rough one that was going to lead to any self gratification. I was destined to travel the long, bumpy, hard road. I needed to shut up and take it like a woman.

Ms. Rosenburg inhaled deeply. "You know what is right in your heart," she said after a few minutes.

"I sorry. I deserved that," I said. "I know I have to bring reform to the Council. So many of the watchers have ingrained beliefs and are not about to subject them to change. A few secretly agree with me and a few others could go either way, but the majority have vocally stated that they are against. In the against group there are all but one of the Council members. She is undecided as of yet."

"Take her out to lunch... perhaps at the country club," Ms. Rosenburg advised. "Take her around. I've heard you debate people. You are better at it than I am. Be as fervent as you can."

"Okay," I replied, pleased that she had faith in me. "I'll have to make an appointment with her and some of the others. I think if I can win over most of the newer watchers and a few of the older ones, I'll be off to a good start."

"I do believe you will," Ms. Rosenburg said to me with twinkling eyes.

***

Ms. Rosenburg died a few months later at the age of one hundred, right after her birthday. It was like she had been just waiting to be a century old before leaving her earthly restraints. She had been hospitalized for three weeks. I spent every minute I could be her side as if my presence would make her stronger. But she still left.

I was at her bedside the moment she died. She told me to 'Be strong,' then took her last breath. The life went out of her eyes, and her soul fled her body. I reached out and closed her eyes.

Ms. Rosenburg's death shook me hard. My rock, my support system was gone. She had always seemed so timeless... almost immortally so.

My debilitating mourning was unheard of for a watcher. A watcher was supposed to be used to death. But as long as I have lived as a watcher... As much of it as I have seen... I am still not immune to death.

I knew that she was in a better place... better than any one on earth. But it still hurt. I've never felt as bad as I did in that moment after she died. Not before and not since.

Ms. Rosenburg was right when she said that no one would show up for her funeral, I realized going through her address book preparing for her funeral. Most of the names in it accompanied a corpse. There were a few old students and some distant relatives that Ms. Rosenburg that were coming, but the only person that had been close to her recently was me.

The service was very beautiful. I played the part of grieving family. The church was decorated with black roses. They were not merely a sign of mourning but Ms. Rosenburg's favorite. She said they reminded her of Spike.

There was no eulogy at the funeral service. I couldn't handle doing it and no one else knew her well enough to do it. I had the rabbi (Ms. Rosenburg had told me one time that she was Jewish at one time. I felt it was appropriate.) read a few passages from some of Ms. Rosenburg's favorite books. I also had a favorite one of mine read from Jane Eyre:

I felt it summarized Ms. Rosenburg's battle against those who plagued human kind. It is also very powerful, just like her presence was.

I had the funeral held long before sundown. I made sure everyone was gone from the graveyard before darkness consumed us and on their way to the reception that was being held in a rented hall by Ms. Rosenburg's third cousin. Only I remained. I couldn't stand it one minute longer to be surrounded by those who had no idea who Ms. Rosenburg really was. I also felt compelled to stay at her graveside. Maybe somehow I knew...

I wouldn't be her only midnight mourner.