Michaela Quinn sat quietly at her desk reading through her latest copies of Advanced Medical Journals.


Usually she was quite overjoyed to see what findings other doctors throughout the country and the world, for that matter, had to share.


Practising medicine was what she wanted to do and the rewards were far greater in places where there were no 'fancy' hospitals and where people truly relied on their 'town doctor' for almost everything. She was needed here in spite of the fact that her first encounter with these people was, to say the least, hostile.


Closing her book now, she sat alone staring around the empty clinic. 'So many memories', she thought to herself. so many people had come and gone in her life. Some had died because of the lack of proper conditions and medical supplies. Others, there was no way to save them and yet maybe some day, man would find cures. She only hoped she would live long enough to see that day. The day when she could save everyone, not only from disease but from hate and injustice. Sully had once said to her that she couldn't help everyone, nor could she change those who didn't accept change. She had replied 'I don't believe that', and had proven not only to him but to herself that some change was good.


As she looked around her clinic,'Imagine what my Father would be saying if he could see me now?', she thought. and a tear escaped from her eye.


"Michaela?", a soft voice filtered in through the locked door. "Michaela. Are you in there? It's me, Dorothy."


Shaken back to reality, she answered "Yes, Dorothy. I'll be there in a moment."


Dorothy had come to see why the doctor, her good friend had kept herself locked up for the last few days. People were beginning to wonder what was going on at the clinic. The doctor was not herself lately and as most people in small towns do, they had their own gossip trail going.


"I was just finishing up the last of my new medical reports. Sorry, were you waiting long Dorothy?"


"No, I only just got here. Michaela, folks have been wonderin - is there something wrong? I mean, are you all right?"


"Yes, of course Dorothy, I'm fine. I've just been so intent on getting all my reading done that I haven't had much time for 'chat'." Michaela answered, hoping this would satisfy Dorothy's curiosity and that of everyone else.


"I see.", but Dorothy was not satisfied, of course. She had gotten to know Michaela quite well and could tell better than anyone, except for Sully, that something was different about her friend these days.


"Would you like to have some coffee with me? I've just finished today's paper and I know I need a break. How about you?"


Knowing Dorothy's persistence, Michaela agreed to join her and the two women walked in silence across to the Cafe where Grace was waiting to greet them.


"Well, Hello Dr. Mike! I haven't seen much of you these days. Everything all right?" Grace inquired.


"Yes Grace, everything's fine. Why are you all so curious as to my 'state of mind' these days?" asked Michaela.


"No reason," Grace said."We all just care about you. When we're sick you look after us and sometimes there's no one left to look after you."


"I don't need 'looking after' Grace and Dorothy! I am doing just fine."


The tone of Michaela's voice had changed. She seemed agitated now and could stand no more questions. With that, she placed her hands over her eyes and began to sob. Not wanting to feel embarrassed or show weakness, she turned sharply and ran back to the safe haven of her clinic, locking the door behind her.


Grace and Dorothy stared at each other in wonder. What had happened to that strong willed woman they so admired? The one who stood off the army and fought for the rights of everyone needing help. The woman who faced epidemics, fearless but cautious. The woman who attempted things, that at one time, meant only for men. Where had her spirit gone? What had happened to make her so vulnerable? They had no answers but did know that one thing for sure, that if something or someone didn't help Dr. Mike, they would lose their mentor, perhaps forever.


"Maybe I'd better find Sully", Dorothy asked Grace, not knowing what else to do.


"I think he's away in Washington Dorothy. He's been spending so much time there these days. Maybe that's what's botherin' her? She's missing him!"


"You could be right Grace but I have to find out and Sully knows her better than anyone. I'll get Horace to wire him in Washington and maybe he could surprise her with a little visit home." Both women agreed.


Michaela was sitting back down in her chair at the clinic, her head resting on the desk. she didn't know how long she had been asleep but that it was starting to get dark outside and the shadows were all around her in the empty clinic. Shadows of things of the past. She almost laughed aloud,'Scrooge, by Charles Dickens! I guess I'll be visited by my ghosts of the past tonight!'


Shaking her head she got up from the chair and decided it was time to head for home. Whatever the problem, it would have to keep until tomorrow as sleep was all that her mind could think of right now.


"Ma"! Brian seemed surprised."You're home! Where have you been?"


"At the clinic of course Brian, why?" Michaela answered.


"Katie wanted to say good night to you but she finally fell asleep so I put her to bed."


"Katie!", Michaela gasped. Oh my gosh I almost forgot my own darling daughter and Brian. Oh how she relied on him these days. Poor boy was more of a mother to Katie than she was. What must he think of his 'Ma' now?


"Brian, I am so sorry. I was so caught up in my work....Oh Brian can you ever forgive me?" She once again broke into streams of tears."I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't seem to keep my mind in order." Michaela sighed.


Brian gently put both arms around his ma. He loved her so much and knew all too well the 'gossip' that was spreading around town.


"It's okay Ma. Katie's fine and I'm fine. I like lookin' after her. I love her."


Michaela's face lit up. He was so precious. Brian had grown to be such a responsible young man. She found it hard to think of him as a man-that little boy who's first words to her were 'You're dress sure is dirty!"


But Brian was letting her off too easy. she had responsibilities not only to her patients but more important ones to her family. It was as if time had passed and she had no idea where it had gone. What was she doing to her family? How could she have abandoned them? Why had she forgotten to be home in time to kiss her baby girl goodnight? She was a doctor and a good one. She had enough confidence left in herself to know that but, when it came to the rest of her life, well it was now being poorly managed and 'that' bothered her more than losing any patient.


"Ma, Ma!", Brian was gently tugging at her arm as she stared into the fire.


Michaela seemed to leap back into reality once more and gave Brian a smile. "I'm sorry Brian. I l know it's been rough on you these last few days. You'll never know how much I rely on you. Maybe a little too much!"


"It's okay Ma. Like I told you, I like lookin' after Katie. I think you've just been workin' too hard that's all. Maybe you need to get away?" Brian had seemed to hit a nerve.


"Get away? But how can I, I mean I have patients who need me and you and Katie. Who would make sure you were all right? No Brian I couldn't...."


"Ma something's botherin' you and I just think you need some time away from the clinic."


Michaela was listening to his every word now. She did feel drained and maybe a few days away would be a good idea, but only if Brian and Katie could be with her.


"Brian you are wise beyond your years. How would you like some ice cream?" she grinned.


"Ice cream?"


"That's right. I think it's about time we took Katie for her first train ride. How would you like to go back to Boston?" She didn't have to wait long for his response.


"Boston! When can we go?" Brian was excited.


"Well, I'll have to get someone to look after the clinic and the homestead. With Matthew at Law School and Andrew and Colleen so far away, I guess I could ask Robert E. to look after things around here and I'll see about one of the doctors from a neighboring town to check on my patients. But I think it can be done, and the sooner the better! Good idea Brian! Very good idea!"