Mud Football

Team Real World prove themselves sore losers in more ways than one!

Mission Notes

• Rip-off of the Week: Well... anyone with half a brain could figure this one out. I say it's time for a major shake-up over in BMP headquarters. Abe & Gladys' "Big Fight" this is not! Someone should clue-in the B-M oaf who leaked the story back in October on what a "Cat Fight" really is! Da Brat cloaking Clueless to the ground is not a cat fight. How typical for Bogus Monopoly Productions to overhype an event for sweeps. And to think that I waited four months for this!?! Spare me.

• Slick Willie of the Week: Fearing Clueless would unleash a gallon of freshly squeezed whoop ass, Da Brat faked a wrist injury to get out of the football game before things could get interesting. Figures, Da Brat can always dish-out crap, but can never seem to take any! However, on the flip side......

• Whimp of the Week: After her repetitive, "I'm gonna kick Amaya's @ss!" chest thumping through out the episode, Clueless gets cloaked by Da Brat; then in response, she gives the most lamest, valley girl offensive that would make the girl scouts look like navy seals. Poor Clueless, always talkin' the talk, but can never put one foot in front of the other and walk the walk! Please go back to your snobby, sorority sisters (if you have any) at Berkeley. Wolf tickets are a hard sell these days!

• Welfare Recipient of the Week: B-M's obviously in a generous mood this year (still swimming through profits from Hawaii's tower high ratings I assume). They mail out not one, but two checks to Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers; though, I'm sure they gave the poor Sapp a little something extra for having to put up with the Brat Packs' consistent griping.

• New Education of the Week: Proof that B-M's Foreign Exchange program is a marginal success, Derrick Brooks clues in a curious Piggy on what the NFL stands for; to which the Pigster starts trashing for their (in her view) unnecessary use of shoulder pads, helmets, etc. Calling football a "gurly" sport when sized-up against rugby. Hey, them's fightin' words! You put the Cowboys or Packers up against any ragtag rugby team and we'll see who're the real gurls!

• Belated Continuity of the Week: It never ceases to amaze me how inconsistent and sloppy B-M can handle character's personal relationships while on the road. Those that practically scream for "follow up" never get any; worse yet... others are never given a chance to even scream for follow up (a la, Josh & Sarah's)! Nevertheless, I was surprised to see Piggy on the phone blessing out her current fling, (briefly mentioned in Aussie) Andrew. But I have serious reservations on exactly what-if anything was accomplished. As it turns out, Andrew is your typical womanizing male pig. But to give Andrew the benefit of the doubt, we're literally hearing one side of the story here (since B-M can't tap a pay phone as easily as a home phone). Besides, if Andrew's that much of a dog... what the hay! Your 6,000 miles away! Why not try selecting from a different menu? Instead, Piggy declines a request from a tag along Buccaneer, Jeff something something for a night out on the town; although given his question, "Do they still have arranged marriages in England?" I can see why. For his sake, I hope he was remotely referring to the Royal Family.

• Cheap Prop of the Week: Gee, that spiffy new "Stealth Cam" that was used to spy on Teck & Piggy sure had the resolution of your average blue light special camcorder at K-Mart.

• Anomaly of the Week: For the third straight week in a row team Real World losers Yet Another event, bringing new meaning to the term "trendsetter"! But seriously folks, RW needs to take a step back and reassess their whole messed-up strategy. First and foremost, slap General Heather B. with a dishonorable discharge! She's become so obsessed with winning she has now turned this whole challenge into a war! That combined with the verbal assaults she constantly swings at her subordinates week after week, and you can see why there're on a losing streak. "WIN, WIN, WIN!!!" There're so psyched to win they've forgotten how to! What's worse... this Heather B. style commando boot camp is catchy. Even Ponyboy's plashing the Maj. Pain tude as of late!

• Audience "Puleeze" Line of the Week: In Yet Another, "I'm a cocky stuck-up wench and proud of it!" speech, Clueless labels Amaya a "disgrace to women" for stealing her title as, gurly-girl of the group. Puleeeze! Given what we were forced to witness in S.O.S, "Disgrace to Women" is Veronica Portillo's middle name! And while I'm comparing characterizations.....

• Retro-Characterization of the Week: It appears that both Clueless & Da Brat are attempting to use Challenge 2000 as a vehicle to either redeem, or demolish their previously established personas from their respective seasons. To date, I haven't observed one slip-up from Clueless (apart from a few idiotic spats here and there) that would warrant a comparison to the vixeness klepto of S.O.S; whereas Da Brat has done a complete 180 from her melodramatic, in-need-of-a-backbone, whimpering self on Hawaii. Now she's the in-your-face, comeback kid, spouting inciteful, and at times irrelevant trash talk just to remain the center attraction! So the question remains... did these two frown upon their prior performances--promising to make a change for the challenge, or are we being manipulated by the Borg Modified Editors, who can get pretty nifty with the cut & paste button to give the appearance that these two have changed (for better or for worse)?

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• J. Blaze/JC (Challenge 2000)
• Road Kill (Tubescan)
• Ashley (Real World/Road Rules Hot Spots)
• Kelley/WildGuy (Road Rules Online)
• CooterJ (The Real World Blows)
• Mario (The Real World Road)