Season Finale

Challenge 2000 ends on a high note (no pun intended) with- whaa... another skydive?!? Ya know, one cliche per season is bad enough, but two cliches per season is just too dang much!

Mission Notes

• Cliche of the Week: Woah! Who didn't see this one coming a week away? Albeit as with the bungee jump, I'll give the producers partial credit for at least putting a different spin on the overused skydive. The "Solo Jump" finally allowed our troopers to fly for themselves (hey, if Janet can do it, anyone can--ok, bad example) even though a few of them were still staggering on their landing skills: Yes' nasty spill was over hyped as usual--only walking away with a few scrapes on his knuckles, and rest assure B-M will milk it=(instant replay) for every cent it's worth; but in comparison to Amaya's slam to Earth, Yes' tumble comes off looking like a feather landing--which begs the question... Heaven forbid if someone were to break their leg or spinal cord during a mission, would B-M be liable? No doubt somewhere in the 100 page contract there's a to-be-signed waver which states that BMP cannot be found liable for any injuries short of death. As if worrying what B-M could do to your reputation wasn't bad enough, future cast members also must contemplate their physical well-being as well.

• Anomaly of the Week: As alluded to above, Amaya suffers yet another unfortunate mission mishap. Given her track record on the challenge, Amaya ranks right up there with Beth S. and Anne in the Real Rules Accident Prone Hall of Shame! But this is not to make light of a situation that could've been much worse. Looking at her free fall to the ground, I'm surprised she didn't return from the ER with a broken leg--along with her resentment over losing the SUV's. Perhaps she should've been thanking the man up stairs instead of testing fate, "Can I get hurt on... like every mission please? Oh wait, it already happened!" Be careful what you wish for Amaya.

• Fashion Crime of the Week: I'll admit it, Gladys' black leather cat suit was worth a whistle or two back in Las Vegas; however, I can't say the same for her latest number here in Miami. Ok, the goth skirt can stay, but the G.I Jane crop top has got to go! Is Gladys receiving style tips from Grace Jones or what!?!

• Budget Cutting of the Week: It's obvious that B-M couldn't shell out enough dough to pay the pumped-up Chip & Dale dancers for an out-of-state appearance. Instead the cheapskates lured-in acouple lean bods from Miami Beach with the assurance of a cameo spot on MTV.

• Astute Observation of the Week: When pleading her case on why she desperately deserves that new X-terra, Piggy informs us that her last car blew-up on her back in February, "If you don't put the oil in it apparently the engine ceases." APPARENTLY! Thus The Pigster's comment further fuels the stereotype that women don't know crap about cars (as if this show needed anymore generalizations)!

• Addict of the Week: This continued infatuation Holly has over Dan being her "soul mate" has gone too far! During the philosophical closing speeches [TM] we heard of everyone's reflection on the trip: the up's and down's, the good times and bad times... but what did we hear from Holly? Dan, Dan, Dan! I'm surprised she didn't break-out, "You're my Sunshine"! What's even worse... there're people out there who not only sympathize with Holly (!) but are also salted with Dan (!!) for dodging the big question at the final dinner. Well, I for one commend Dan for not putting himself into a compromising position--knowing full well that his long time girlfriend will be watching; and on that note... Dan has A LOT of splainin' to do when he gets back to Minneapolis (If ya catch my drift)! I wouldn't pop that liter of Citra just yet, speaking of which....

• Marketing Ploy of the Week: The Citra folks were probably smiling from ear to ear after viewing the countless number of plugs displayed this week! The most blatant show of force came during the Roadies' rejoice over their newly acquired X-Terras--which were covered from top to bottom in Citra logos (even the key rings for crying out loud)! Gee, could Citra's message have been a wee bit more obvious? They might as well had erected a giant flashing neon sign that read, "BUY CITRA ... NOW!!!" And no, Dan posing with the bottle like a gullible stooge didn't help matters either.

• Marketing Ploy of the Week--First Runner Up: As if Citra's bombardment of ads wasn't enough, Skydive Miami had to throw-in their own plug via their contact number 800-SKYDIVE, which was strategically placed on the front and back ends of the troopers' helmets to ensure that word of their company got out. Everyone wants a piece of the pie it seems!

• Lost Homework of the Week: What ever happened to Team RR's--or more specifically Yes' promise to seek revenge on Team RW's for their mission prank in, "Sweet Revenge"? Either the editors deliberately left out any retaliation prank on RR's part (although that seems unlikely given B-M), or Team Road Rules decided to let by-gones be by-gones once they received their "Handsome Reward" (me thinks a $30,000 dollar ride would do more than compensate me for a humiliating night on the town!)

• Better Late Than Never of the Week: Looking back, I wish that B-M had never even mentioned E*trade in the first place! Given the extremely poor follow-up coverage through out the challenge (or lack thereof) I'd assume any viewer, barring newbies wouldn't give a hoot about the troopers' final tallies (RW: $40,000 RR: $67,000) from their on-line investing, "E-what? Oh, yaaah! Forgot about that!" Ya, apparently so did the editors!

• Audience "Puleeeze" Line of the Week: I tried, I tried to be polite and overlook many of Teck's idiotic quotes through out the challenge, but as of this week I can take no more! After the kids were shown the spiffy SUV's that were provided by "Citra," Teck Money drools, "Those are some phat ass cars man. Can you see me drivin' down Sunset BLV. in a X-Terra, two honeys in the car?" Ya, Malo & Marge right? (see RW Hawaii for details)

• Audience "Puleeeze" Line of the Week--First Runner Up: Clueless chose her closing speech to drop another excuse for her sleazy behavior on S.A.S. This time claiming that she had a low self-esteem problem--which by the way was probably the case! You know, some shrinks say that actions such as: thievery, plagiarism, etc. are a direct by-product of one's low self-esteem, HOWever.... as much as it may pain some of ya'll to hear this, I have to admit that overall, Clueless did a much better job of reconstructing her shattered image from S.A.S; but don't get me wrong... Clueless still retains her arrogant, annoying, "I'm all that and you ain't crap!" valley girl attitude; but if someone were to ask me which was a better vehicle for Clueless, I'd say Challenge 2000 hands down! Now whether that was due to the editors' tricky fingers or not is open for debate. Case in point, Los & Clueless' famed argument in, "Sweet Revenge" where Los tells Clueless--and I quote: "I want you to stop putting your hands on my things on the bus..." Let's not forget who we're dealin' with here people!

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