Hot Voodoo

"Phew!"

Analysis

To say I found this episode to be a mixed bag would be an understatement. This is among the most puzzling mixed bags of the entire series' run--at least, it seems that way to me. On the other hand... sure it has heated conflicts, wild accusations, and juicy gossip (I'll give it points for that); all of which are magents for us, and golden tickets for John and Mary . But when I extract my attention away from the events of the final seconds of the show, and focus on the "Big Picture", I'm hardly impressed. This is by far one of the most difficult episodes of Road Rules I can remember; it can be damned frustrating at times due to the plot, which runs all over the place like a decapitated chicken! To give you an example of how complex this show was.... Normally, it's only necessary for me to view an episode twice before writing a review; however, I was forced to watched this episode at least four times before finally being able to come to terms with my own analysis!

First, my hat goes off to the fine editors over at BMP for their excellent work! Together, they've managed to display one of the most blantant disregards for continuity that I haven't seen since last season's--all of a sudden "Out of Money Scenario" in "Into The Heart Of Darkness".

So.... Ayanna and Clueless are "ENEMIES"? Who would da thunk, (literally)? I mean this revelation must have crawled out of a black hole somewhere because I've seen nothing over the past 7 weeks to indicate that Ayanna and Clueless were locked in a hissing match on the ship! "Nothing"... with the exception of acouple minor incidents way back in the season premier revolving around a conflict over one's environmental up bringing-and prefered fashion attire, but that's it! Yet the powers that be would have us to believe otherwise.

I would've taken some gratitude in this had the editors been willing to show some snippets of this "building tension" instead of dropping it out of the wild blue younder-thus causing more whiplash!

Also, some (Including myself) may be compelled to draw comparisons between this episode and last season's "Tigers and Sharks". In both instances you have two characters, simi-intolerant of each other (Abe/Gladys Ayanna/Clueless) who's tension are ignited in-directly by a third party (Susie/Marlene-or in Ayanna's case... either or!). But what made "Tigers and Sharks" work was the fact that we had a consistent set up in episodes previous to the "Big Fight" And apart from the obvious exception of "rumormill" you knew Abe and Glady were set on some kind of collision course long before the blonde pranced onto the scene! Here, the triangle feud between Ayanna, Clueless, and Marlene is just dummped onto the scene without a second's thought for continuity; so much that any new viewer to the season could look at this episode and fully comprehend without the need for backstory. No Mr. Newbill, I don't like it!

Again, as I mentioned in my above rant: I'm having a hard time figuring out this supposed long running feud between Ayanna and Clueless because it simply sprang up out of nowhere. What's even more puzzling is Marlene's (A.K.A "Judge Judy" this week) sudden defection from Ayanna to Clueless despite the fact that they've been bosom buddies since the the beginning of the trip. Furthermore, I find it pretty shallow in Marlene to totally accept at face value Clueless's rumors without a second thought before hearing the other side of the story.

And when Ayanna attempts to set the record straight, her defense practically falls on deaf ears since Clueless had managed to recruit everyone to play for her team--well almost everyone that is.... Extra props go to Duffy this week, not only for his digression through out the whole matter, but also for his attempts to bring calm to the volatile atmosphere:

"Ok, when I make friendships with people, it's not just strickly me and them. I care about how people-how my friends treat others, and I care about how my friends treat my other friends. It's very important to me, and it has a direct relation with how I deal with my friends."

Hmm, perhaps he'll be known as "Yes" instead of "Smooth Operator" from now on!

And alas, poor Pawel (A.K.A "Student Green"), one week after his first, and most likely last chance to shine this season is thrown back below decks! The guy didn't so much as utter a single syllable in the little airtime he was given! Note: If you're bland, and are on Real Rules, you get one and only one chance to soak up your 15 minutes! After that, you're nothing more than a recurring character: Mike RW: Miami, Jon RR: Northern Trail, anyone from RW: London, Shane RR: Australia, Rebecca RW: Seattle--you get the point!

Speaking of which...

I'm pleased to see that Road Rules has finally taken a interest in featuring recurring characters on the show. It appears that Annie (for those not into the know, Annie is the Kat from London look-alike) is apart of Marlene--or Marlene and Ayanna's inner circle. In addition, I believe Annie is the girl who got into a (almost) bitch slapping contest with Clueless (a incident that was reported on 02/20/99; and I was curious to see if the producers--er... S.A.S folks would permit it, but alas, no such luck!

Also, I wish the editors would acknowledge Autumn (Ayanna's close friend. Ya I know, you thought Marlene was? So did I!). Only in her second appearance to date, and the viewing public still doesn't even know who she is (we wouldn't have known who Annie was had it not been for a off handed reference made by acouple cast members)! And frankly I find it almost absurd that the producers would acknowledge a peasant student advisor, or photo teacher who both know nothing about the cast on a simi-personal level, yet would choose to ignore personal friends.

For her part, I felt that Ayanna handled the whole situation pretty well, that is up until her emotional out burst (which was understandable considering she was penned in a corner by Judge Judy). In fact, to call it a "out burst" would be an understatement; in all honesty I haven't seen a reaction like that since the Belou/Antione soap opera of season 3!

It's obvious that the source of Ayanna's frustration stems not only from Clueless and Marlene's accusations, but also from hearing of her mother's reoccurrence of breast cancer in "Ayanna's Crisis" (which by the way, the producers could care to give us an update on any day, but I'm not exactly holding my breath!). And if that wasn't enough of a wake up call, the proceeding scene where Ayanna and J.J both erupt into a almost deafening shouting match delivered more energy that all previous 7 episodes combined!

However (and not to come down too hard on Ayanna), I didn't agree with a few of Ayanna's offensive tactics; such as delivering a complaint letter--not to the dean, not to the local advisor, but to the ENTIRE SHIP which was totally overboard! Tell me exactly what would be accomplished by dragging everyone else into the matter other than enhancing the problem?

Marlene was just an unwilling puppet throughout this whole affair who danced to Clueless's tune; In fact, it was totally unnecessary for Clueless to confront Ayanna at all since Marlene did all of the dirty work for her! The little vixen's no dummy I tell ya!

As for my main character gripe, Clueless.... I have to shake my head in disgust at Portillo this week for partially monopolizing "The Game" from the start by spreading wild accusations--first to Marlene who she saw as the most gullible and easy to take advantage of (which she ends up doing all to well). But by far the most aggravating moment while watching Clueless came during that cabin/court room scene when she displayed that silly self-satisfying smirk (as if she was getting a kick out of seeing Ayanna on the hot seat). I was almost tempted to reach through the screen to smack her silly for that!

However, the most troubling aspect of the show is that this whole circus didn't have to happen! If Ayanna hadn't vied to stoop to Clueless's level by joining the game, and instead chose to (In her words) "Roll with the punches" by offering to sit down and chat with Clueless to clear up the misunderstandings "mutually" like two rational minded thinking adults; then that would've spared us from witnessing another episode of The Young & The Clueless coupled with Judy Springer, and spared their poor neighbors the ordeal of having to listen to Shoutstock'99!

Why is it that some people must wait to argue (loudly) at 1 freakin a.m in the morning? I mean just look outside their cabin window...wasn't it already night? Looks like someone should've issued a complaint letter to the administration regarding the S.A.S Six' disturbing of the peace!

Goofs

• Continuity: Ayanna was seen sporting a tattoo on her left hand in various scenes throughout the show. A tattoo which the editors didn't care to elaborate on "where and when" Ayanna acquired it; eventhough they casually chose to despose the Marlene nipple-ring tale on us in South Africa (Ya, I know it's small potatoes, but never the less, I figured I should point it out).

• Too Hot For TV: Just what was soooo racy about Veronica'a name in Ayanna's complaint letter that warranted a name change to Ms. "bleep" via the editors? Hmm, could it possibly be because her name is Ms. "Portillo" (Veronica's last name)? The reason I ask this is because I have never in Real Rules 7 year history seen or heard a cast member's full name mention during any of the seasons--on any of the shows! What... Is there some sort of confidentiality agreement between the cast members and producers that their full names won't be disclosed on global tv? But of course I'm just speculating here.....for all I know, Ayanna could've called Veronica "Clueless"!

• Don't Believe The Hype: Oh, and spare me the cheesy moaning-cat-with-bronchitis sound affects which invoked more annoyance than anxiety! Not to mention that the whole creepy atmospheric backdrop was a slick advertising gimmick to promote the new Blair Witch Project movie. I guess Mary Ellis and her collective will be receiving a hefty pay raise if BWP's a hit at the box office!

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