May 5, 1998

The Truth As I see It!

There are those amongst us who may wonder why this question deserves to be addressed, and even those who pass it off as being frivolous! But obviously it was important enough to the inquirer to pose it and if one soul is plagued by this question enough to ask, there is most likely thousands to afraid to come forth, to go public with there concern! It is therefore my duty to reply to the query with all of the knowledge, and yes, wisdom that I possess. It is with this task at hand I put all of my efforts towards discovering the answer. It was not without some risk to my own health. To be honest, I have lost sleep over it! In the end, though, I have come to the following conclusions:

The initial conflict arises from the artful representation by Quaker in the packaging and marketing of the two "Crunchs". The bright and cheery colouration of the packaging is an immediate draw, seducing the public towards them, luring them on with promises of fulfilment and joy; the opportunity for pleasure never derived from a cereal before the Captain ashore. Then there is the appeal of the authority figure, the brave man in uniform presented at a level of maturity and power that most men can only hope to achieve. The man men could never be, the man women would dream about. Coincidentally Freudian in its simplicity? I would say not!

When all seems calm in the waters for the heroic Captain, along comes the horrendous and terrific (literal meaning) Crunch berry Beast who, time and time again, threatens to alleviate the world of all the delicious and succulent Crunch berries. The literary Moby Dick to our Captain Crunch's Captain Ahab, one might say. There is the lure for us though to the evil embodied in the Beast, the troublemaker and tormenter, the "bad boy" your momma always warned you about! And just what is so enticing about those Crunch berries that makes the Beast risk his being against said mighty Captain? We just have to know!

In the end, the temptation towards evil, exploring ones dark side, wins out over the good of the gallant Captain and Crunch berry flavour is the route to take towards breaking our fasts. Not to mention the ambrosiatic taste sensation of sucrose, glucose, fructose, red dye #8, and the never ending quest to identify the subtle nuances present in each spoonful. Crunchberry all the way!

In the meantime, I have a couple of questions for you that you can answer, the best answers will be appearing on this page.

Here goes:

Question 1: Do you think it is high time the United States dumped their antiquated belief in the constitutional right to bear arms?

Question 2: Could a Global Peace actually exist?

Question 3: What is the answer to life's oldest question?

If you want to answer, just go to my "Sign Guestbook" and leave your reply, or E me the answer as you see it.

This concept is in its infancy so I ask of you to be patient. It will be worth the wait!

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