Mahiro's Arena

Hello, and welcome to Mahiro's Arena! Here is where I post matchups of various characters of fiction, fantasy, and reality. All wins are in my personal opinion; I'm sure if they REALLY fought one might make a stupid mistake or something. But if you would like to contribute, just e-mail me your matchup, your name, and your e-mail address at callandorknight@juno.com. If it's a good one, I'll stick it in. Let the games begin!

Rand al'Thor (Wheel of Time) vs. Raistlin Majere (Dragonlance)

Raistlin begins chanting the spell for fireball. Rand laughs at the attempt and says, "Here's how it's done." He binds and gags Raistlin with the Power and balefires him. Winner: Rand al'Thor

Celes (Final Fantasy III) vs. Terra (Final Fantasy III)

Celes casts Ice. Terra casts Fire. They collide and negate. Terra morphs and casts Fire again. Celes draws the attack with Runic. Celes climbs into a suit of Magitek Armor, and so does Terra. After grappling uselessly and wrecking their machines, they resort to yelling insults. "Half-breed!" "Murderer!" "Brat!" "Floozy!" "Spinster!" "Mrs. Locke!" Winner: Terra

Allanon (Shannara) vs. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)

Luke ignites his lightsaber and cuts off Allanon's right hand. Allanon raises his other hand and shoots out blue lightning at Luke. Luke yells "Father, PLEASE!" But Darth Vader isn't there and Allanon fries Luke. Winner: Allanon

Sephrenia (Eleniad) vs. Moiraine Damodred (Wheel of Time)

Sephrenia begins weaving a complex spell that will lead to Moiraine's being strung upside down by her toenails. Moiraine listens coolly, then binds and gags her with the Power. Realizing her plight, Sephrenia silently pleads for help and Vanion strides out to deal with Moiraine, only to fall after the second step from a dagger in the eye from Thom Merrilin. Enraged by the Preceptor's fall, an entire troop of mounted Pandions charge Moiraine. They are decimated by Lan on Mandarb. Just as Sephrenia is about to admit defeat, though, Aphrael appears and rips Moiraines heart out and eats it raw while she watches. Winner: Sephrenia

Predator (Predator) vs. Barney (Barney)

Facing his greatest challenge ever, Predator whips out his entire arsenal of high-tech weaponry - spear, net, knife, projectile launcher. But everything Predator throws at Barney is intercepted by a brainwashed kid who flings his or her body on the weapon screaming "I love you Barney!!!!" Barney just stands there, cackling with his infamous chuckle. Finally, Predator runs out of weapons - even his teeth and claws were abraded to nothing by the friction of rubbing against so many kids - and Barney begins to croon evilly... "I love you, you love me..." Screaming but unable to save himself, Predator activates his self destruct mechanism. Both perish in the resulting explosion. The Earth raises a monument to Predator's sacrifice; unfortunately, there are no children left alive on the planet and the human race dies out. Winner: Draw

James T. Kirk (Star Trek) vs. Jean-luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Kirk wants to duke it out in a fistfight with Picard. Picard agrees, on the terms that they come alone and on a neutral planet and fight by the Rules of Combat set down in Starfleet Code section 1749 subsection J49 paragraph 11 sentence 3. Kirk says, "Yeah, whatever," and plans to bring Spock and McCoy with him anyway. However, he is en route to the fight when he meets Deanna Troi and gets sidetracked. Will Riker walks in on the two and beats the stuffing out of Kirk. Picard wins by forfeit. Winner: Jean-Luc Picard

Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings) vs. Tasslehoff Burrfoot (Dragonlance)

Frodo approaches Tas nervously, wearing Frodo's mithril coat and holding Sting. But Tas has no hesitation; he first filches the One Ring from Frodo and slips it on - he's had lots of luck with rings - then proceeds to rob him blind, even taking the fur off his feet. Winner: Tasslehoff Burrfoot

Wedge Antilles (Star Wars) vs. Christopher Blair (Wing Commander)

The Concordia and Home One pull to within ten thousand clicks of one another, and stop. Wedge hops into his X-wing, and Blair gets into a Hellcat. Both launch at the same time, and head towards each other. At maximum range, both fighters begin trying to get missile locks on one another. Blair's image recognition missile locks first, and he fires. Less than a second after that, Wedge has tone and fires a pair of proton torpedoes at Blair, and starts juking to try to avoid Blair's missile. Meanwhile, Blair, alerted to the incoming torpedoes, blows chaff and scrambles the torpedoes' guidance systems. He maneuvers easily out of the way, in time to see his missile impact on Wedge's X-wing. Blair laughs, and pushes a button on his comm system, sending a generic taunt off to Wedge. His laughter cuts off abruptly, though, as Wedge's two scrambled torpedoes continue on their course and blow up the Concordia. Wedge, though, has no recourse but to eject. His fighter is damaged too heavily. Blair, still angry over the destruction of the Concordia makes his own attack on Home One. He doesn't even scratch the paint, and Home One leisurely ambles over to Wedge, picks him up, and goes into hyperspace, leaving Blair stranded out in the middle of nowhere. Winner: Wedge Antilles

Sailor Moon (Sailor Moon) vs. Goku (Dragonball Z)

Sailor Moon sees Goku and is immediately entranced by his handsome appearance. "Wow," she thinks, "his pecs are bigger than mine!" While she stands there gawking, Goku powers up into a Super Saiyan and launches a Kamehameha blast which incinerates Sailor Moon with one hit. Then he dusts his hands off and goes home to do something difficult, like telling Chi-Chi where he's been for the last thirty seconds. Winner: Goku (was there any doubt?)

Eek! the Cat (Eek!stravaganza) vs. Garfield (Garfield)

Eek got lost on the way to the challenge, and Garfield slept through it. Winner: Draw

Back to my main page!

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page