=== Villains and Vigilantes ===
Capsule Opinion:
*Real *Men* don't like to adhere to the Superhero Code enforced by
the government.
*Real Roleplayers* join the government peacekeeping force.
*Loonies* represent themselves at their trials.
*Munchkins* are above the Superhero Code (aren't they?)
Favorite Character Type:
*Real Men* play 600 pound Bricks.
*Real Roleplayers* play telepaths.
*Loonies* play insane androids.
*Munchkins* play alien sorcerers.
Favorite Power:
*Real Men* like Invulnerability and Armor A.
*Real Roleplayers* like Psionics.
*Loonies* like Mutant Power.
*Munchkins* like Power Absorption.
Favorite Ability Score:
*Real Men* like Endurance.
*Real Roleplayers* like Intelligence.
*Loonies* like Charisma.
*Munchkins* like Agility.
Favorite Weakness:
*Real Men* like Mute.
*Real Roleplayers* like Physical Handicap.
*Real Loonies* like Psychosis.
*Real Munchkins* "What weaknesses?"
Favorite Battle Tactics:
*Real Men* pound villains into the ground or throw buses.
*Real Roleplayers* wear their opponents down before finishing them off.
*Loonies* dump a bucket of Cool Whip on a villain's head and talk about
Planet of the Apes.
*Munchkins* negate their friend's attacks so they get all the experience
themselves.
Favorite Combat Maneuver:
*Real Men* like the Fastball Special.
*Real Roleplayers* like to trick villains into attacking each other
instead of the heroes.
*Loonies* like to trick the other heroes into attacking each other
instead of the villains
*Munchkins* like Multiple Weakness Detection.
Favorite Canned Adventure:
*Real Men* like Death Duel with the Destroyers.
*Real Roleplayers* like FORCE.
*Loonies* like The Dawn of DNA.
*Munchkins* like Devil's Domain and Dawn of the Devil.
Favorite Member of the Crushers:
*Real Men* like Bull.
*Real Roleplayers* like FIST.
*Loonies* like Mocker.
*Munchkins* like Mercury Mercenary.
Favorite Member of the Crusaders:
*Real Men* like Enforcer.
*Real Roleplayers* like Dreamweaver.
*Loonies* like Laserfire.
*Munchkins* think the Crusaders are wimps.
Favorite Member of the Destroyers:
*Real Men* like Behemoth.
*Real Roleplayers* like Iron Maiden.
*Loonies* like Ratman.
*Munchkins* like Annihilator.
Favorite Member of the Errants:
*Real Men* like Adonis.
*Real Roleplayers* like Cockroach.
*Loonies* like Shee-Ariel.
*Munchkins* like Dr. DNA.
Favorite Member of the Force:
*Real Men* like Mister Magnum.
*Real Roleplayers* like Shadarkos.
*Loonies* like Cicada.
*Munchkins* like FORCE.
=== Fantasy HERO ===
Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* like how expensive magic is.
*Real Roleplayers* don't like how expensive magic is.
*Loonies* like the bizzare disadvantages you can create.
*Munchkins* like the crossover from Champions.
Character Type:
*Real Men* play Dwarven Knights.
*Real Roleplayers* play Elven Mages.
*Loonies* play Halfling Knights.
*Munchkins* play their Champions characters.
Favorite Spell Limitations:
*Real Men* wish there weren't any, so magic would be even more
expensive.
*Real Roleplayers* like Gestures, Incantation, and Concentrate.
*Loonies* like Side Effects.
*Munchkins* use the Champions rules.
Favorite Spells:
*Real Men* like any kind of magic greatsword.
*Real Roleplayers* like Percieve and Illusions.
*Loonies* like Dominate usable on Self Only.
*Munchkins* like Blast, Variable Advantage, Reduced END to zero.
=== GURPS ===
Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* think there aren't enough combats.
*Real Roleplayers* think there aren't enough supplements.
*Loonies* think there aren't enough disadvantages.
*Munchkins* think there aren't enough hit points.
Favorite Advantages:
*Real Men* like Combat Reflexes, Strong Will, High Pain Threshold and
Toughness.
*Real Roleplayers* like Charisma, Danger Sense, Empathy, Literacy and
Voice.
*Loonies* like Luck, Absolute Timing and Unusual Background.
*Munchkins* like Magery 3, Patron (God), and PK (80).
Favorite Disadvantages:
*Real Men* like Gigantism and Berserk
*Real Roleplayers* like Sense of Duty and Poverty
*Loonies* like Severe Delusions, Severe Phobias, Split Personality,
Total Pacifism and Berserk - all at the same time.
*Munchkins* like Enemies and Dependents (for the points).
Favorite Skills:
*Real Men* like Brawling, Two-Handed Sword, Broadsword and Shield.
*Real Roleplayers* like Acting, Bard, Detect Lies, Diplomacy,
Fast-Talk, Merchant, Savoir-Faire and Streetwise.
*Loonies* like to use ALL skills at a default level of 5.
*Munchkins* like Fast-Talk GM and Whine.
Favorite Overall Spell:
*Real Men* don't use magic, but they'll let the mage cast Hawk Flight
on them so they can pursue the foe
*Real Roleplayers* cast Lend Language on the strangers they meet
*Loonies* cast Mystic Mist in the town square
*Munchkins* cast Enslave on the city guard
Favorite Combat Spell:
*Real Men* don't use magic.
*Real Roleplayers* cast Blur and Flash.
*Loonies* cast Create Object (cream pies)
*Munchkins* cast Armor, Shield, Invisibility and Deathtouch.
Favorite Non-Combat Spell:
*Real Men* still don't use magic.
*Real Roleplayers* cast Major Healing.
*Loonies* cast Drunkenness on the other PCs.
*Munchkins* cast Linking spells on everything they own.
Favorite Supplement:
*Real Men* like Horseclans and Ice Age.
*Real Roleplayers* like Space, Horror and Japan.
*Loonies* like Toon.
*Munchkins* like Fantasy, Horror and Autoduel - in the same game.
Favorite TOON Character:
*Real Men* play Carnivores.
*Real Role-Players* play Herbivores.
*Loonies* play Richard Nixon.
*Munchkins* build an unfathomably powerful character.
Supplement Most Wanted:
*Real Men* want World War II.
*Real Roleplayers* want 2001
*Loonies* want Pet Rocks
*Munchkins* want Deities
=== Storyteller ===
Favorite Vampires:
*Real Men* play 13th generation Brujah Rebels
*Real Roleplayers* play 14th generation Tremere or Ventrue Architects
*Loonies* play 14th generation Malkavian Anti-tribu Visionaries
*Munchkins* play Caitiff Antidiluvians
Favorite Vampire Food:
*Real Men* eat dope-dealers and other assorted criminals.
*Real Roleplayers* agonize over it, eat their friends in a frenzy and
lose Humanity points.
*Loonies* eat flies.
*Munchkins* eat Caine.
Favorite Dialblerie:
*Real Men* diablerize Tremeres and Sabbat.
*Real Roleplayers* agonize over it, diablerize their sires, and lose
Humanity points.
*Loonies* diablerize themselves, agonize over it and enter Torpor.
*Munchkins* eat Caine.
Favorite Ghoul:
*Real Men* need no ghouls.
*Real Roleplayers* agonize over it, ghoul politicians and lose humanity.
*Loonies* ghoul Wall-Mart cashiers.
*Munchkins* ghoul the entire Tremere clan.
Favorite Sourcebooks:
*Real Men* like Clan Brujah.
*Real Roleplayers* say "I don't NEED a sourcebook", buy the books
anyway and lose Humanity points.
*Loonies* like Count Duckula
*Munchkins* like the Mummies.
Favorite Werewolves:
*Real Men* play Get of Fenris Ahroun with Fang Daggers
*Real Roleplayers* play Uktena Theurges with Baneskins
*Loonies* play a hairy bag-lady with a shopping cart
*Munchkins* play a Major Incarna with a Silver Sword
Favorite Totems
*Real Men* align with The Stag
*Real Roleplayers* align with Coyote
*Loonies* align with the harmonic convergence
*Munchkins* align with themselves.
View the Umbra as...
*Real Men* view the Umbra as the True World.
*Real Roleplayers* view the Umbra as the shadowy pictures from Plato's
Allegory of the Cave.
*Loonies* view the Umbra from a padded cell.
*Munchkins* view the Umbra as their kingdom.
Favorite Weapon
*Real Men* need no weapons.
*Real Roleplayers* carry their ancestor's klaive.
*Loonies* carry a tune.
*Munchkins* carry a silver sword, two klaives, a fang dagger, an Atchison
with 20 rounds of silver-phosphate and a thermite grenade.
=== Ars Magica ===
Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* think there aren't enough combats
*Real Roleplayers* like the setting
*Loonies* like the myriad of possible spell effects
*Munchkins* think magi aren't powerful enough.
Advantages of the setting:
*Real Men* like the Crusades
*Real Roleplayers* like the richness of the paradigm
*Loonies* like mendicant monks
*Munchkins* like being able to look up the answers
Advantages of the game:
*Real Men* like _starting_ with battle-worthy wizards
*Real Roleplayers* like the long-term character development
*Loonies* like the chance to make the Crown-prince think he's a slug
*Munchkins* like being able to spont level 80 spells
Problems with the game:
*Real Men* think the Code of Hermes is too restrictive
*Real Roleplayers* think there aren't enough flaw points to define their
characters
*Loonies* think there aren't enough ways to pull pranks on the mundanes
*Munchkins* think longevity potions don't last long enough
Favorite Houses:
*Real Men* join House Flambeau or House Tytalus
*Real Roleplayers* join House Jerbiton
*Loonies* join House Criamon or House Merinita
*Munchkins* join House Bjornaer
Favorite Variant Magi:
*Real Men* don't do variant magi
*Real Roleplayers* play Shamans
*Loonies* play Faerie Companions
*Munchkins* play Diabolists
Favorite Virtues for Magi:
*Real Men* have an affinity with Ignem or Perdo
*Real Roleplayers* have the Gentle Gift
*Loonies* have Withstand Magic and Berserk
*Munchkins* have Heartbeast - Great Worm of the Pyrenees
Favorite Flaws for Magi:
*Real Men* take Fury
*Real Roleplayers* take Sense of Doom
*Loonies* take Magic Addiction, Lack of Concentration and Chaotic Magic.
*Munchkins* don't understand the concept
Means of overcoming flaws:
*Real Men* kill their Enemies
*Real Roleplayers* join monasteries
*Loonies* use self-flagellation
*Munchkins* seem to have lost that bit of paper
Favorite Companions:
*Real Men* play crusading knights
*Real Roleplayers* play wandering friars
*Loonies* play time-travelling Californians
*Munchkins* play Richard the Lionhearted
Favorite lab work:
*Real Men* find it too fiddly, and stick to the library
*Real Roleplayers* take familiars and apprentices
*Loonies* use experimentation with vis
*Munchkins* invent 'Cleanse the Verminous Infestation of People'
Favorite Spell:
*Real Men* cast Pilum of Fire
*Real Roleplayers* cast Frosty Breath of the Spoken Lie
*Loonies* cast Confusion of the Insane Vibrations near a clifftop
*Munchkins* cast Opening the Earth's Pore
Favorite Skill:
*Real Men* like Penetration
*Real Roleplayers* like Guile
*Loonies* like Scribe Pig-Latin
*Munchkins* like Affinity - everything
Favorite Rule:
*Real Men* like open-ended die rolls
*Real Roleplayers* like personality traits
*Loonies* like botches
*Munchkins* like spontaneous magic
Favorite Quotes:
*Real Men* say "I kill demons and eat them for breakfast."
*Real Roleplayers* say "How can you believe him? He's a Christian!"
*Loonies* say "I healed the dog. I took his toe nails."
*Munchkins* say "Certamen!"
=== Computer Use ===
Operating Systems:
Personal computers:
*Real Men* Use MS-DOS
*Real Roleplayers* Use OS/2
*Loonies* Program their calculator to run PC software
*Munchkins* Use Nintendo
Big computers:
*Real Men* Use VMS, and write everything in FORTRAN
*Real Roleplayers* Use Unix, and incorporate other people's C code
*Loonies* Use a Turing machine
*Munchkins* Use Nintendo
Unix:
Favorite flavor of Unix:
*Real Men* Use System V
*Real Roleplayers* Use BSD
*Loonies* Port Linux to their Sparcstation
*Munchkins* Use AIX
Favorite Shell:
*Real Men* Use the Bourne Shell
*Real Roleplayers* Use tcsh
*Loonies* Use cat > /dev/null
*Munchkins* Use simulated Macintosh environments
Favorite method of computer use:
*Real Men* Use the assembler to do everything
*Real Roleplayers* Use perl and C to do everything
*Loonies* Write everything in Postscript
*Munchkins* Just run what they buy
Favorite editor:
*Real Men* Use vi
*Real Roleplayers* Use emacs
*Loonies* Use dd of=/dev/sd0a
*Munchkins* Use Microsoft Word
Favorite Unix program:
*Real Men* Use "ln -s stdin.c `tty` ; cc stdin.c"
*Real Roleplayers* Do "nn 'rec.games.frp.*'"
*Loonies* Run "yes | wall"
*Munchkins* Try "dir"
Favorite programming languages:
*Real Men* Use Fortran and C.
*Real Roleplayers* Use SML, Prolog, and Common Lisp Object System
*Loonies* Write punch card readers in Algol, APL, and TICO
*Munchkins* Use Basic, when they can figure it out.