Favorite Science Fiction Weapon:

*Real Men* use Laser Pistols/Blasters/Light Sabers

*Real Roleplayers* use Stun Guns/Tanglers

*Loonies* use Thermonuclear Hand Grenades/Tripod Flamers

*Munchkins* use smart bombs

Favorite Method of Handling Alien Monster:

*Real Men* drive off the Bug-Eyed Monsters invading the Earth

*Real Roleplayers* negotiate with the refugees from the evil Empire

*Loonies* hitch a ride with Vogons

*Munchkins* invade the BEMs' home planet and enslave them all

Favorite Science Fiction Movie:

*Real Men* watch the Star Wars films

*Real Roleplayers* watch 2001: A Space Odyssey or 2010: Odyssey Two

*Loonies* watch Spaceballs

*Munchkins* watch Star Trek-The Motion Picture

Favorite Method of Space Travel:

*Real Men* use Hyperspace/Warp Drive

*Real Roleplayers* use suspended animation

*Loonies* use the Infinite Improbability Drive

*Munchkins* push the button and it goes

Favorite Star to Put a Colony Around:

*Real Men* colonize Beta Lyrae

*Real Roleplayers* colonize Alpha Centauri

*Loonies* colonize Cygnus X-1

*Munchkins* colonize wherever gives the most plusses

Favorite Science Fiction Author:

*Real Men* read Isaac Asimov

*Real Roleplayers* read Arthur C. Clarke

*Loonies* read Douglas Adams

*Munchkins* read E. Gary Gygax

Favorite Monster:

*Real Men* like the Alien

*Real Roleplayers* like the Moties

*Loonies* like the beach ball from Dark Star

*Munchkins* like E.T.

Favorite Variant Human:

*Real Men* play Heavy Worlders

*Real Roleplayers* play Light Worlders/Spacers

*Loonies* play Sex Androids

*Munchkins* play Enhanced Humans with all the advantages

Favorite Spell:

*Real Men* cast Fireball

*Real Roleplayers* cast Find the Path

*Loonies* cast Otto's Irresistible Nose-Picking

*Munchkins* cast Smite Ruler and Transfer Loyalty of Populace

Favorite Psionic Ability:

*Real Men* use Body Weaponry

*Real Roleplayers* use Shape Alteration

*Loonies* use Sea Anemone Hypnosis

*Munchkins* use Assume Godhood

Favorite Specialist Mage:

*Real Men* If they have to play a mage, they'll be an Invoker w/ lots

of fireballs

*Real Roleplayers* play Enchanters

*Loonies* play Illusionists with ventriloquism, audible glamer, and

spectral force; Conjurers specializing in create banana peel spell;

or transmuters specializing in polymorph self into a random object

*Munchkins*: a multi-classed abjurer/conjurer/diviner/enchanter

/illusionist/invoker/necromancer/transmuter

Favorite Miscellaneous Magic Item:

*Real Men* love Adamantine Claws

*Real Roleplayers* love Repulsor Rays

*Loonies* love +3 Kleenex

*Munchkins* love Uru's Hammer

Favorite Potion:

*Real Men* drink potions of Superheroism

*Real Roleplayers* drink potions of Animal/Plant Control

*Loonies* drink potions of Jell-O

*Munchkins* drink potions of Deity Control

Favorite Ring:

*Real Men* wear rings of Elemental Control

*Real Roleplayers* wear rings of Free Action

*Loonies* wear rings of Smurf Control

*Munchkins* wear the One Ring

Favorite Stick (Rod/Staff/Wand):

*Real Men* wield staves of Striking

*Real Roleplayers* wield wands of Healing

*Loonies* wield shower curtain rods

*Munchkins* wield the Wand of Orcus

Favorite Armor:

*Real Men* wear Plate Mail

*Real Roleplayers* wear Elven Chainmail

*Loonies* wear Horse Barding

*Munchkins* wear powered armor

Favorite Helm:

*Real Men* wear a Helm of Brilliance

*Real Roleplayers* wear a Helm of Telepathy

*Loonies* wear a Helm of Blindness ("Works great against medusas")

*Munchkins* wear a Helm of 360-Degree Vision with Force Field

Favorite Glove/Gauntlet:

*Real Men* fight bare-handed

*Real Roleplayers* wear Gloves of Dexterity

*Loonies* wear THE Glove of Michael Jackson Charisma

*Munchkins* wear Gauntlets of Infinite Ring-Wearing

Favorite Footwear:

*Real Men* wear Seven League Boots

*Real Roleplayers* wear Boots of Stealth

*Loonies* wear bunny slippers

*Munchkins* wear Boots of Infinite Speed

Favorite Bar to Hang Out In:

*Real Men* hang out at the Vulgar Unicorn

*Real Roleplayers* hang out at the White Hart

*Loonies* hang out at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe/

the Floating Vagabond

*Munchkins* hang out wherever they don't get carded

Favorite Superhero:

*Real Men* like Batman (The Dark Knight)

*Real Roleplayers* like Jericho/Sandman

*Loonies* like Bat-Mite/Flaming Carrot/Cutey Bunny

*Munchkins* like Galactus

Favorite Modern weapon:

*Real Men* use .44 Magnums

*Real Roleplayers* use Walther PPKs

*Loonies* use water pistols

*Munchkins* use Infinite-Repeating Uzis

Favorite Actor:

*Real Men* like John Wayne

*Real Roleplayers* like Claus Kinski

*Loonies* like Curly

*Munchkins* watch Saturday-morning cartoons

Favorite Actor to play James Bond:

*Real Men* like Sean Connery

*Real Roleplayers* like George Lazenby

*Loonies* like David Niven

*Munchkins* like Roger Moore

Favorite Card Game:

*Real Men* play Gin

*Real Roleplayers* play Bridge

*Loonies* play Fizzbin/Fungus and Fruitbats

*Munchkins* cheat at Go Fish

Favorite Music:

*Real Men* listen to Led Zeppelin

*Real Roleplayers* listen to 14th-century madrigals

*Loonies* listen to Weird Al Yankovic

*Munchkins* watch MTV

Favorite Magazine:

*Real Men* read Soldier of Fortune and argue about whether the ads are real.

*Real Roleplayers* read the Journal of Abnormal Psychology and argue

about the point value of disadvantages.

*Loonies* read National Lampoon and bitch about how it's gone downhill.

*Munchkins* read comic books and argue about whether Spider-Man should

have married MJ.

Favorite Convention Activity:

*Real Men* ``Do the Dealer's Room''/hang out in the con suite

*Real Roleplayers* go to seminars/hide in their rooms and play games

*Loonies* play video games/do hoax zines

*Munchkins* run and shout and cut in lines

Favorite Gaming Awards:

*Real Men* vote for the (new) Charles Roberts awards from 3W

*Real Roleplayers* vote for the Origins Awards

*Loonies* come in at the end of the Origins ceremony to vote

on the Silver Hatchets

*Munchkins* vote for the Strategists Club awards

Opinion of Board Games:

*Real Men* love them

*Real Roleplayers* think they don't offer enough options

*Loonies* like to mix and match

*Munchkins* can't figure out the rules

Favorite Type of Dice:

*Real Men* like 20-siders

*Real Roleplayers* use three 6-siders

*Loonies* use 34-sided for everything

*Munchkins* have them all, and like to roll as many as possible

Capsule Opinion:

*Real Men* love the challenge of fighting the creatures

*Real Roleplayers* love the challenge of avoiding the creatures

*Loonies* love the insanities

*Munchkins* think you should be able to play Great Old Ones

Favorite Skill:

*Real Men* like Shotgun

*Real Roleplayers* like Library Use

*Loonies* like Head Butt

*Munchkins* like Credit Rating

Favorite Spell:

*Real Men* cast Bless Blade

*Real Roleplayers* cast Elder Sign

*Loonies* cast Pipes of Madness whenever possible

*Munchkins* cast Control Cthulhu

Favorite Monster:

*Real Men* like Deep Ones

*Real Roleplayers* don't like any of them

*Loonies* like Masters of the Universe Slime

*Munchkins* like Azathoth

Favorite Type of Character to Play:

*Real Men* play Private Investigators

*Real Roleplayers* play Professors of Ancient Egyptian Archaeology

*Loonies* play Red Indian Sex Maniacs

*Munchkins* play Magic-Users

Capsule Opinion:

*Real Men* think the weapons are OK, but hate the background.

*Real Roleplayers* think the campaigns are too short.

*Loonies* think the game isn't funny enough.

*Munchkins* don't think the game is supposed to be funny.

Favorite Service Group:

*Real Men* like Armed Forces.

*Real Roleplayers* like Tech Services and CPU.

*Loonies* like R&D.

*Munchkins* like IntSec.

Favorite Secret Society:

*Real Men* like Anti-Mutant, Frankenstein Destroyers, and PURGE.

*Real Roleplayers* like Free Enterprise and Sierra Club.

*Loonies* like Corpore Metal, Death Leopard, and Mystics.

*Munchkins* like Psion.

Favorite Mutant Power:

*Real Men* like Adrenalin Control.

*Real Roleplayers* like Hypersenses.

*Loonies* like Project Total Chaos.

*Munchkins* like characters with the works.

Favorite Weapon:

*Real Men* like cone rifles.

*Real Roleplayers* like laser pistols.

*Loonies* like chainsaws and anything from R&D.

*Munchkins* like Plasma Generators.

Favorite Target:

*Real Men* shoot Commie Mutant Traitors.

*Real Roleplayers* shoot the Munchkins' characters.

*Loonies* shoot anything fragile-looking.

*Munchkins* shoot anything in sight, starting with the other PCs.

Favorite Mission:

*Real Men* like to hunt down Commie Mutant Traitors.

*Real Roleplayers* like to try to survive the briefing.

*Loonies* like to place themselves under surveillance and report hourly.

*Munchkins* like to attack a rival Alpha Complex.

Capsule Opinion:

*Real Men* can't understand the game at all.

*Real Roleplayers* think the game is silly.

*Loonies* think the game is about them.

*Munchkins* want to play their 700-point Champions character.

Favorite Character Type:

*Real Men* play Near Humans.

*Real Roleplayers* play Humans.

*Loonies* play green fuzzy blobs that drip slime.

*Munchkins* play Deities.

Favorite Powers:

*Real Men* have Superspeed, Monster Out, and Superstrength

*Real Roleplayers* have Teleport, Deep Freeze, and Talk to Aliens.

*Loonies* have Bounce, Summon Pizza, and Telephone.

*Munchkins* have all of them.

Favorite Knacks:

*Real Men* like Shoot Big Raygun and Flying Saucer Piloting.

*Real Roleplayers* like Figure Things Out and Look Cool in Shades.

*Loonies* like Weird Science and Eat Anything.

*Munchkins* like Do Anything I Want.

Favorite Weapon:

*Real Men* like Zap Guns.

*Real Roleplayers* like Duplicator Guns.

*Loonies* like Goop Guns and Boy/Girl Guns.

*Munchkins* like AT-AT Walkers.

Favorite Transportation:

*Real Men* use flying saucers.

*Real Roleplayers* use the Number 42 Crosstown Expedience Route.

*Loonies* use Rocket Sneakers.

*Munchkins* use Battlestars.

Capsule Opinion:

*Real Men* think this is how the world *should* be.

*Real Roleplayers* think there's too much combat.

*Loonies* think it's a great system for simulating reality.

*Munchkins* think starting characters don't have enough points.

Favorite Character Type:

*Real Men* like Bricks.

*Real Roleplayers* like Mentalists.

*Loonies* like Cream-Puff Projectors.

*Munchkins* like visiting Gods.

Favorite Power:

*Real Men* like Damage Resistance.

*Real Roleplayers* like Telepathy.

*Loonies* like Instant Change, Usable on Others.

*Munchkins* like Autofire Find Weakness.

Favorite Attribute:

*Real Men* like Strength.

*Real Roleplayers* like Ego.

*Loonies* like Comeliness.

*Munchkins* like Speed.

Favorite Disadvantage:

*Real Men* like Berserk.

*Real Roleplayers* like Psychological Limitations.

*Loonies* like Dependency on Spinach Egg Noodles.

*Munchkins* like Unusual Looks.

Favorite Power Limitation:

*Real Men* like Always On.

*Real Roleplayers* like Limited Uses.

*Loonies* like Activation on 8-.

*Munchkins* like Focus and Multipower.

Tactics in Hostage Situations:

*Real Men* demonstrate what'll happen to villians who injure hostages.

*Real Roleplayers* create an illusion of the hostages getting away.

*Loonies* taunt the villians.

*Munchkins* use their 10D6 Area Effect Armor Piercing RKA on the whole

block and then resurrect the hostages