Get your own Free Home PageConfused about ZOS? This FAQ will answer any questions you may have on this insidious disease.
------------------------------------------------------- ZOS FAQ Revision 1.1 Written by: Eric Kilbourne ------------------------------------------------------- Q:What is ZOS? A:ZOS stands for Zelgadis Obsession Syndrome. It is simply being obsessed with Zelgadis. Q:How do I get it? I've been having safe sex! A:Sex has nothing to do with it. You get it by watching The Slayers too much. Q:How do I know I have ZOS? A:Simple. If you have strange urges to watch The Slayers to see Zel, and you think about Zel a lot, you have ZOS. Simple stages can be cured easily, while advanced stages are harder. Q: I think I have ZOS... help! A: Refer to the staging chart. If you have stage one or two, simply get rid of your Slayers tapes, and resist all Zel-related thoughts. Q:Aheh, I think I'm further than that. A:Stage three cures vary from person to person. Try doing it yourself, and if it doesn't work, seek help. Q:My doctor doesn't know what ZOS is and wants me in an institution. A:Don't ask him. Seek help from someone that deals with helping others with obsession. Q:Who's usually affected? A:Usually young women, most notably ones that live in...ARKANSAS! Males usually aren't affected. Q:What do I do to avoid getting this? A:Don't watch slayers so much. Also, it helps to remind yourself that Zel doesn't exist. Also the fact that he's incredibly ugly. Q:My friend keeps telling me to watch The Slayers, what do I do? A:Your friend suffers from ZOS and is trying to infect you as well. Be careful of when he/she wants to show you a video. Q:What's the best way to file my tax returns? A:Last I heard, they recommend electronically. Q:WAAAHHH!!! It wasn't Zel's fault he's like that! Poor guy! A:ZOS is trying to get ahold of you, don't let sympathy cloud your judgement or lower your defenses. Q:Is this stuff contagious? A:The way it spreads is by forcing the host to spread the word of Zel to others. Ignore this word, and you'll be fine. Q:You're telling me never to watch The Slayers again, aren't you?! A:No, watching the Slayers is fine. Just don't get obsessed with Golem Boy. (Zelgadis) Q:What are some more symptoms? A:Denial and hallucinations have now been spotted in test subjects. The subject #223S and #224A were logged as saying "Zel was here! He really was!" And then both subjects denied suffering from ZOS. Q:Well, I have a Zelgadis web site, but I don't think I'm a stage six. A:Well, its possible to have "mixed" stages. Q:I sent cash in the mail, but the letters never arrive! Why? A:Three words. GREEDY-POSTAL-WORKERS. ------------------------------------------------------- Legal ------------------------------------------------------- This is a ZOS FAQ. ZOS is a copyright of Eric Kilbourne. Only Red Leader has permission to use, alter, or copy this FAQ in any way. Aside from that, using this in or at your site is forbidden by the owner (ME!). Want one for your site? Mail me at: Eric_Kilbourne@hotmail.com and put "ZOS FAQ" in the subject line. -------------------------------------------------------
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