Virus Alert!

Sanosuke Virus: Attacks financial programs, wildly borrowing money and never repaying it. It is also know to attack restaurant computers, where it eats all available data and then looks around for more. When it is not borrowing, eating, or fighting with other viruses, it loafs around and simply takes up space.

Shishio Virus: You computer launches a fiendish plan to take over the country, then spontaneously combusts before completion.

Battousai Virus: You computer kills you and every other user in the vicinity.

Saitou Virus: You computer becomes psychotic and takes up chain smoking. It immediately destroys any program by Microsoft, following its code of Aku Soku Zan.

Ayume and Suzame Virus: Your computer wants to play games with you.

Kenshin Virus: A completly harmless if not beneficial virus. You wake up every morning with you laundry done and a breakfast tray by your bed.

Enishi Virus: Hides all of your favorite programs, causing you to think they've been erased.

Tomoe Virus: Insinuates itself into every aspect of your computer memory, making itself impossible to remove, and serves no useful purpose. It paves the way for the Enishi virus.

Aoshi Virus: Removes what little personality your computer has. Fights harmful viruses as a time buyer while the "Kenshin, get off your butt" program loads. Prints the words "Hyotoko, Beshimi, Shikijo, Hannya" on your screen constantly at random intervals.

Houji Virus: Rides along with the Shishio virus, and is quite possibly the most annoying virus known to man. Constantly prints out reams of documents about the Shishio Virus' Kuni-Tori and takes up a lot of space. When the Shishio virus self-destructs, the Houji virus destroys your computer mainframe.

Kaoru Virus: Beneficial virus that tries to protect your favorite programs from destructive viruses. Unfortunately, it tends to be slightly wimpy and often needs the Kenshin virus to protect it.

Kamatari Virus: Your never quite sure what this virus is.

Seijuuro Hiko Virus: Your computer becomes too cool for you. It doesn't do much of anything else, as it spends most of its time sitting around and being in love with itself. Occassionally protects the Kaoru virus or goads the Kenshin virus into action.

Yahiko Virus: A small, loud virus that incites the Kaoru virus into randomly destroying programs in an attempt to kill the Yahiko virus.

Note: I got this idea from something I read on the SASS ML. That particular piece of e-mail had the Ayume and Suzame virus on it. I don't know what else went through on the ML, as at that time, I was deleting most of my e-mail because I didn't have enough time to read it. If it seems like I've copied anyone, please, drop me a note, and I'll give credit.