The Brahma (Gods) in Your Home
By Egerton C. Baptist

Page 1

"Monks," says the Buddha, in the Book of the Gradual Sayings - Anguttara Nikaya: "those families where mother and father are worshipped in the home are reckoned like unto Brahma (i.e. 'God'). Those families where mother and father are worshipped in the home are ranked with the teachers of old (i.e. one's First Teachers). Worthy of offerings, monks, are those families where mother and father are worshipped in the home. 'Brahma', monks, is a term for mother and father. 'Worthy of offerings,' monks, is a term for mother and father. Why so? Because mother and father do much for children, they bring them up, nourish and introduce them to the world." The text goes like this:

Brahmati Mata-Pitaro, Pubbacariyati Vuccare
Ahuneyya ca puttaram Pajaya Anukampaka
Tasma hi ne namasseyya sakkareyyatha Pandito
Annema atha panena Vatthena sayne na ca
Ucchadanena Nahapanena Padanam Dhovanena ca
Taya nam Paricariyaya Matapitusu Pandita
Idha c'eva nam Pasamsanti, Pecca sagge ca Modati.

Parents are called "Brahma," "teachers of old."
Worthy of gifts are they, compassionate
Unto their tribe of children (i.e. progeny).
Thus the wise
Should worship them and pay them honours due.
Serve them with food and drinks, clothing and beds,
Anoint their bodies, bathe and wash their feet.
For service such as this to parents given
In this life sages praise a man, and he
Hereafter has reward of joy in heaven.

Now, we shall take these virtues and attributes, one by one, and see why they are applied to Parents. That children should wash the feet of their parents is the custom in Eastern countries where warm clothes, warm socks, etc., are not worn as in Western countries. As is also the custom and tradition in the East, children should massage the limbs, hands and feet of their parents, scrub and bathe their bodies, supply them with clothes, jewels and a variety of food, in keeping with one's income and ability. If this is not done for them in the process of bringing them up, yet however hard such children may work to look after their parents and make them happy, they would still never repay their parents for what they have done for them. That is because children have received a vast amount of care, love, help and assistance from their parents in their early helpless stage.

It is also said that those children who look after their parents in the manner described above, will be blessed with long life, happiness and power, and their wealth too will increase. On the other hand, if children neglect their parents and do not look after their welfare, they will not be endowed with long life and happiness, and whatever power and influence they may wield and whatever wealth they may own and possess, all these will vanish soon. According to the Buddha, one's greatest helpers in this world, are one's own parents. Looking after such benefactors, therefore, becomes a means of showing one's gratitude to them. Gratitude is one of the great qualities found among mankind. Kindness and goodness found in a person are also great qualities. But, these find their base in Gratitude.

Accordingly, that He may set example to the world, The Buddha in the second week after His Enlightenment, turned round to face and look with gratitude for a whole week, upon the Bodhi-Tree (or Tree of Enlightenment as it afterward came to be known), which gave Him shade and shelter in His Quest for Enlightenment, and, in this manner, assisted Him in His struggle for Buddhahood (Animisalocana puja). Thus, as we can see, the Blessed One gave us, by His own example, a lesson in Gratitude.

Although to us, ordinary worldlings, this gesture of the Blessed One in showing Gratitude to the sacred Bodhi-Tree, would appear useless and meaningless and of no purpose, especially as the offering of Gratitude was to an object like this - a Tree - which has no Mind and Body, this was, we must try to understand, the Blessed One's way of setting an example and demonstrating to the world that the showing of Gratitude for any little assistance or help one may obtain from whatsoever source or direction it may come from, is the quality of a Great Being - of a Noble Man.

Looking after the welfare of one's parents, therefore, is not only a good quality, but also the hallmark of a great person. We are also told that even the Devas of Tavatimsa heaven (God Sakka's realm), regard those human beings who look after their parents, as beings endowed with the great qualities of a noble person.

We are also told that the denizens of the hells who tend the fires of hell, accost those children who have neglected and not looked after the welfare of their parents and lead them to King Yama who, it is believed, administers severe punishment upon them. From this we see that even in the nether regions (i.e. the Niraya or hells), the hell-tenders look upon such children who do so, with regard and respect, as they hold in great esteem the quality of 'looking after the welfare of one's parents'. If such is the respect and regard that even the hell-tenders have for those children who look after the welfare of their parents, how much more should human beings who are now able to, have the opportunity, and are in a position to do so, tend and care for the welfare of their parents, while they are still on this earth with them. The Chief of all Men, the Buddha, enumerated the blessings and the blessedness of looking after one's parents in the stanza, Brahmati Mata Pitaro.., and we shall take these now, one by one.

Should there be a person in this world,
who shall, by sweat of his brow,
earn a right livelihood, and out of such earnings,
he spends for the ministration of his parents -
he shall be a noble son. - Anguttara Nikaya

We have seen that the Blessed One likens parents to Brahma. They are also Pubbacariya, Ahuneyya and Pajayanukampaka. How? Brahma is endowed with the four great qualities of Metta, Karuna, Mudita and Upekkha, and these he extends to all beings in all directions of Space, we are told. In the same way, the Blessed One says, that one's parents too shower these venerable qualities on their children, and in so doing, themselves become like unto Brahma (i.e. God) to their children. And, this is how it all happens. First, parents desire the health and happiness of their yet unborn child, while it is still in the womb of its mother and keep wishing and praying and looking forward to the day when they will see their child. This is the quality of Metta bestowed on their yet unborn offspring by parents. Secondly, after the child is born, out of deep Compassion, parents protect the helpless child from all harm - from flies, mosquitoes, bugs, insects, and so on, who might harm their little one. When the child cries through hunger, their great Compassion is again aroused for their child. All this is actuated by Karuna - another attribute of Brahma.

Thereafter, when they see their child playing, walking about, passing exams and doing well, their hearts become soft and filled with tenderness. The great joy and happiness that arises in them at seeing all this, is the quality of Mudita (i.e. rejoicing in the welfare of others), which is another attribute of Brahma. And then, finally comes the stage when the child has grown up and is living with his own family and on his own strength. This, once again, gives great satisfaction to the parents - a balance of equipoise of Mind - and the ability to exercise a sense of Equanimity at the child's new status in life - now all alone, away from the parents, and on his own. This Equanimity or equipoise of Mind, is the great qualities of Brahma. To Buddhists this quality is known as Upekkha (i.e. Equanimity). Thus, by exercising the qualities of Metta, Karuna, Mudita and Upekkha in this way which, as we said, are also the four great attributes of Brahma, parents themselves become Brahmas or Gods, to their children. That briefly is how parents become Brahma to their children.

During their young days children do not know what is right and what is wrong. Parents, therefore, teach them for the first time, what is right and what is wrong. "Son! come here; go there; this is your father; this is your mother, sister, brother; do this; do not do that..." they are taught. Other things they learn later. The parents thus become the first teacher - Pubbacariyas - to their children.

Ahuneyya which is a virtue attributed to the Order of Monks (Ariya Maha Sangha) means that Monks are "worthy of offerings, worthy of hospitality, worthy of gifts, worthy of reverential salutation, being an incomparable field of merit to the world", to the laity. Hence, they might by tending to the needs of the Monks gain great Merit, as Monks are extraordinary and not ordinary beings. The Buddha ascribed the term "Ahuneyya" too, to parents, to demonstrate how like the Order of Monks, parents too are worthy of all this, - food, hospitality, gifts, reverential salutation, etc., from their children. Thus, Ahuneyya, an attribute used to describe the Ariya Maha Sangha, also becomes an attribute applied to one's parents by the Buddha Himself.

Supporting one's mother and father,
cherishing one's wife and children,
having a peaceful occupation,
This is the most auspicious performance.

The Buddha's Compassion is known to extend to all living beings. In the same way, only parents are capable of such Compassion towards their children. Whatever troubles and worries are brought upon them by their children, parents endure and bear them all up with a measure of fortitude, show their Compassion to and understanding of, their children's problems. But, some children, soon forget all this, when they themselves are doing well, and are well off. They do not attend on and look after their parents in their old age, and when they are frail and feeble. Indeed, some children are so shrewd that they wait upon their parents pretending that they love and care for them very much, only, of course, till they are able to get their share of the family inheritance in the form of property, money, jewellery, and so on. Thereafter, on one pretext or another, for one reason or another, they show indifference and drive their parents away form their homes when they are old and feeble, as they now do not wish to even see them, leave alone look after and attend on them. Oh! what wicked children these must be. But, even to such children, parents are known to extend their Compassion. The Samyutta Nikaya records a typical instance of Ingratitude among children, even in the time of the Buddha. Here, in our story, we are told that certain wealthy parents living in the time of the Buddha, had been persuaded to divide their wealth among their four children, since they were now grown old. In the hope and expectation and the assurance that their children would care and look after them in their old age, the parents divided their entire property equally among their four sons. Not long afterwards, instigated by their wives, when the parents began to visit the homes of their children from time to time, sometimes staying longer in one son's home than in another's, there was resentment one day in one of these homes, the parents even being asked whether all their wealth had been given only to this one child alone. "Did you not give your other sons too your wealth in equal proportion?" the son asked. "Why, then, do you come and stay only here?" It was the same reception and treatment at the homes of all the sons, - the same old story! Such were the taunts thrown at the parents by those ungrateful children. Eventually they had no place to go to for shelter or food and were cast on the roads, to eke out an existence and fend for themselves, as best as they could. And, remember, all their wealth too was gone!! THings became so bad that they were now begging on the streets from house to house with no place to go to - no shelter, no food.

Now, as it so happened, this Brahmin, once a millionaire, now looking worn and in a coarse cloak, came one day to visit the Exalted One. HAving exchanged the customary greetings and compliments of courtesy, the old Brahmin took his seat at one side. To him thus seated, the Exalted One said: "Wherefore, Brahmin, art thou looking worn and art clad in a coarse cloak?" "Four sons have I, Master Gotama, in this place" replied the Brahmin, "but, they in concert with their wives, have shown me the door." Thereupon taking pity on the old Brahmin, the Blessed One said: "LEarn these verses, Brahmin, and when the folk are assembled in the 'Chapter Hall' (i.e. the meaning hall of the Brahmin synod), and the sons too are seated there, recite them."

Accordingly, this father, the old Brahmin, having learned the verses taught to him, made his way to the 'Chapter Hall', wherein there was a vast concourse of people, dressed in all their finery and grandeur. There, in their midst the old man stood up, ill-clad as he was, and announced to the gathering that he had a grievance and wished to proclaim it in that assembly in a few stanzas. Thereupon he began reciting the verses which the Blessed One had taught him, which went like this:

Ye jatehi nandissam yesan ca bhavam icchisan
te mam darehi sampuccha sa va varenti sukaram

They at whose birth my heart was glad,
For whose becoming much I longed,
They now in concert with their wives
Are as goad that drives off swine.

Asanta kira mam jamma tata ti bhasare
rakkhasa puttaru pena te jahanti vayogatam

Impious and shameless sooth are these
Who call me 'dear one', call me 'dad'
Demons are they in guise of sons.
Him that is come to years they leave.

Asso va jinno nibbhogo khadana apaniyati
balakam pita thero paragaresu bhikkhati

Forsaken, as a worn-out horse
Unfed is led away from crib.
The sire, the senior of these boys
Doth beg his bread at other's doors.

Dando va kira me seyyo yan putta anassava
candam pi gonam vareti atho candam pi kukkuram

Better in sooth 'the stick' for me
Than having to keep off savage OX,
It serves to keep off savage hound -

Andhakare pure hoti gambhive gadham edhati
dandassa anubhavena khalitva patti-titthatiti.

Whereas I wandered in the dark
I find a footing in the deep,
And by the stick's effective power
I, though I stumbled, stand once more.

Now, it was the law at that time, that the offence of "Neglect of one's parents' was punishable by death. and, these children especially, having made use of the old Brahmin's wealth, were in dire peril. As they began to listen to the verses being recited by the old Brahmin, they knew it was for them, because they were concerned and responsible for the old Brahmin's present plight. Greatly agitated and fearing for their lives, the sons came forward, fell at their father's feet and begged his pardon. Their father forgave them and withdrew his charge and advised them to forsake the evil ways and support him. Greatly relieved at receiving the old Brahmin's pardon and thus escaping the dire consequences of their evil conduct in having neglected their old father all these years, having by false pretences obtained all his wealth, they now led out the old Brahmin to their house, and when they had bathed him, they each clothed him with a suit of raiment, and fed him.

Then that Brahmin, one day, taking one of the suits his sons had given him, went to visit the Exalted One and, exchanging with Him the greetings and compliments of courtesy, took his seat at one side, and so seated said: "We Brahmins, Master Gotama, select a teacher's fee for our teacher. May Master Gotama be pleased to accept my fee."

The Exalted One, moved by Compassion, accepted. Thereafter, after the exchange of the customary courtesies and greetings and the offering of robes, the Buddha preached to the Brahmin, his sons and their wives, and established them in the first stage of Buddhist Sainthood (Sotapatti-phala).

Thereupon that Brahmin exclaimed: "Most excellent, Master Gotama. most excellent! As if one raised up that which had been overthrown, or revealed that which had been hidden, or declared the way to one who was bewildered, or carried an oil-lamp into the dark, so that they had eyes could see, even so is the Norm, in many ways made manifest by Master Gotama. Lo! I go for refuge to Gotama, the Exalted One, to the Norm, and to the Order. May Master Gotama suffer me as lay adherent, who from this day forth as long as life endures has taken in Him refuge! And, they all took refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

Whosoever, being himself in prosperous position,
does not support his mother and father,
who are old and infirm,
he is to be known as an outcaste. ~ Vasala Sutta

Here, then, again, is another instance illustrating the abounding Compassion of parents, however wronged they might be by their indifferent, callous and hardhearted children. But, for the overwhelming Compassion of these parents, those sons, as we see, would have certainly been put to death, for 'Neglect of Parents' was a serious and heinous offence in that time.

The Compassion of parents towards their children could be understood only by one who has himself or herself become a parent. There is again the instance of Ajatasatta, whom readers might remember, who had listened to the wicked Devadatta and put his own father Bimbisara into jail and had him killed there. He too understood this lesson only after a son was born to him. On the very day that a son was born to him, news was brought to him that his father had died in prison. He thereupon enquired of his mother whether his father Bimbisara too had been likewise happy when he (Ajatasatta) was born. When he was told by his mother how when he was conceived in her womb, she had a strange desire to drink human blood, her husband, his father, instantly split open his shoulder and gave her his own blood, that she may drink it and in this manner by his (Ajatasatta's) own life safe - for evil might otherwise befall the still unborn child - only then did King Ajatasatta realize how much Compassion parents can, indeed, have for their children. But, that realization came, alas! too late!! Bimbisara was already gone where no human hands could reach him. That is why I said that it is only one who has himself or herself become a parent then can one realize, in full measure, the love and compassion of parents for their children.

Learning these lessons, wise children should worship their parents as I said earlier, both morning and evening, saying to themselves: "This, indeed, is my fountain of Kusala (i.e. good deeds)"! "Worshipping," as such, may be an eastern mode of respectful salutation; even so, the West would have its own form of respectful salutation, which could be observed with equal reverence.

The looking after the welfare of one's parents should be done, not merely in its outward form of reverential worshipping of one's parents as I have described herein, but also providing them with various kinds of food and drink, clothes to wear, coverlets to protect them from the heat and cold, and comfortable beds and chairs. Their bodies too, as I also pointed out earlier, should be gently scrubbed and massaged and bathed in warm water during the cold season and in cold water during the warm and hot seasons, for, now it must be remembered, that they are old, frail and feeble, and need much loving care and attention. This attention and loving care that parents are entitled to can come only from good and loving children, and comes under the admonition that one should 'look after the welfare of one's parents.'By doing their duty in this manner, the children are not only praised in their lifetime by the wise, but, on their death, will, it is said, be born in the celestial realms (i.e. Deva worlds).