Ryu woke up with a sorely dry throat and a nasty headache. He fought down the nausea and sat up in his bed, and he realized he wasn't alone in the room. Takuro was sleeping next to him. A pang of anger rose but it all soon came back to him.....Takuro carried him back to his room from the club last night, and he was the one who seduced Takuro into sleeping with him.....simply because he didn't want to be left alone.

"What.....the hell am I doing....." Ryu mused to himself for a long while, but he knew thinking at this point was meaningless. He put on a nightrobe, went to the cupboard and poured a full glass of Bourbon.

"Alcohol for breakfast?" Takuro's voice came from behind. "Hadn't you had too much to drink last night already?"

Ryu down the glass and filled it again, without bothering to answer.

A silence fell while Ryu kept drinking to ease a thirst that seemed to get more and more severe, and Takuro got dressed without further comment.

"Last night....." Takuro stopped by the door before he left, "You were calling me by somebody else's name."

*************************************************

"So, what is it that you want to talk about?" Ino leaned against a tree folding his arms, and stared up at J coldly.

"Ino, I am sorry about last night.....I......"

"You don't have to apologize. It's none of my business. I'm going back to my room." Ino started to leave.

"Wait!!" In a panic, J pushed Ino back on the tree and held him by the shoulders.

Ino frowned in annoyance and looked up at his brother silently.

"Ino, can't you just listen to me for once?!! Just once!!! Why are you behaving like this?!!" J stopped as he felt his frustration taking hold of him.

Ino turned aside his head and stayed quiet.

J sighed deeply, and said in a sad tone. "Ino.....don't be angry with me.....I can't stand it when you are mad at me.....don't hate me......"

"I don't hate you." Ino said softly.

"Then stop behaving like you do!" J looked at Ino biting his lips and suddenly felt a rush of emotion. "Ino, I know you are jealous of Sugi, you think he will take me away from you. You think I will leave you behind for his sake. But you are so wrong! You are my brother, you are my family, you are forever the most important to me! That will never change even though I have a relationship with other people, I will still care about you more than anyone else! Do you not believe me, Ino?"

Ino looked down at his feet and asked in a low but sure voice. "Do you love Sugi?"

J was taken back at first, but then he sighed and gave in, "Yes.....I suppose I'm in love with him."

"You love him but you say you care about me more?" Ino asked sharply.

"But that is different!! You are my brother, and Sugi is.....my lover. Shit!! Ino you are not a kid, how could you possibly not understand that?!!!"

Ino started biting his lips stubbornly again and didn't answer.

"Ino.....when you find someone special, someone you want to be together with always, someone you.....desire for, then you will truly understand." J paused.

"I.....I thought you were once close to Ryu.....?"

Ino snapped up his face and said stiffly. "What do you want to say?"

"No.....I mean......have you ever wanted to kiss anybody?"

Ino stared at J wide-eyedly, making him fidget in embarassment and unable to find words to explain.

Ino held his gaze. "So you like kissing Sugi? You like.....sleeping with him? And that is what makes him 'special' to you?"

J shook his head fiercely. "No.....it is not just that....."

"What did you feel when you kissed me?" Ino suddenly asked.

J gasped and felt his heart stopped. A well-hidden sore wound was slit open and left him suddenly vulnerable and speechless.

Ino regarded the lack of response with an odd bitterness. "Did you hate it.....?"

J shook his head again in confusion. "No, it was.....it was.....I.....I am sorry Ino, I am an idiot.....I shouldn't have done it!!! I am sorry!!!" J covered his face in shame.

Ino looked at his brother and felt strongly for him. Driven by impulse, Ino opened up his brother's hands, and kissed his lips.

J froze in shock. "What are you doing?!!" He pushed Ino away forcibly and Ino fell to the ground.

"Ino!!" J regretted immediately and threw himself beside his brother. "Are you okay?!!"

Ino grabbed J's arm and stared into his eyes. "I can do the same thing as Sugi, you don't need him."

J's face paled and his hands started to tremble. "No.....no.....do you know what you're talking about.....? We are brothers!!! Ino......you cannot say this......you cannot do this......this is not a game!!! You only want me to leave Sugi that's all....."

"And you won't leave him for me then?" Ino asked flatly.

"Argh~~~~!!!! I don't know!!!! Why are you doing this to me?!!! I'm in love with him, can't you see?!!!! Goddamn it!!!!" J couldn't bear with it anymore, he jerked up sharply and walked away without a backward glance.

Ino let himself fall flat on the grass and closed his eyes in exhaustion. He knew he had been unreasonable and childish, but fear for losing his brother forever had been plaguing him every single moment and it had become unbearable. But then, Ino thought grimly, what he did and said just now might have just blundered into losing J even faster.

*************************************************

Ryu reached out his shaking hand for another new bottle of Bourbon in the cupboard. He had been drinking all day in his room, he could feel the alcohol poisoning his blood but he didn't care. His mind was a daze. At some point he thought he lost consciousness, and he remembered throwing up in the sink several times, but when his head cleared up a little, like now, he would find himself drinking again.

Ryu turned his head as he thought he heard a faint sound of his room door opening.

Standing by the door with a frown on the forehead was Sugi. "What are you doing, Ryu?"

Ryu ignored him and continued drinking.

"You know I was so shocked when Takuro came up to me all of a sudden and asked me to have a look at you." Sugi took away the glass from Ryu and smiled mockingly.

"What is it with Takuro? The last decent gentleman in the Student Council has fallen head over heels for you too?"

"Leave me alone." Ryu slurred, his voice sounding muffled to his own ears, his hand trying to get back his drink.

Sugi took the bottle and the glass and poured the content into the sink. "I don't know what's wrong with you but I think you've had enough to drink. Now to your bed." Sugi circled Ryu's waist with his good arm and helped him to his bed. ".....You've lost weight....."

Ryu looked up at Sugi's face, his hand touched lightly on the stitches scars that marred the perfect forehead. Guilt struck him a strong blow as Sugi smiled back playfully, "They itch like hell you know, scratch for me?"

Ryu pulled Sugi towards him as he laid on the bed and kissed the scars gently. "Sugi.....I'm sorry....." He grabbed hold of Sugi's neck and covered his mouth with a deep kiss.

Without paying notice to the apology, Sugi laughed in good mood. "Are you always this lovely when you're drunk? Well, I'm not in my perfect shape now, but I suppose I can handle a mild one....." Sugi opened up Ryu's night gown and tickled his nipples with his tongue. "Gosh, your body is cold."

Ryu shivered with the exhilarating sensation of warmth and wetness. Sugi's touch was so full of passion that Ryu never knew how to resist. Forgetting himself, he reached out for Sugi's hair and brought it to his lips. "Sugi.....I love you....."

"Hmm? What were you mumbling about?" Sugi went on to play kisses on the sensitive spots of the slim body that he knew all too well of. "You like this?" But he realized the body had suddenly gone stiff, he lifted his head and saw the chalk-white face. "What's wrong?"

Ryu looked at Sugi's puzzled face, suddenly he understood everything. It was all too simple, too clear to see, but his own pride had blinded him, and he had been denying to admit it, and that was what tormenting him all along. Somehow, sex was not only sex anymore. The emotional involvement had sprouted, had grown, and had invaded deep into his heart without his notice. The game had gone too far, and he had lost it long time ago.

"Sugi.....go away." Ryu said.

"What?"

"Go_away. Leave_me_alone." Annoyance apparent in Ryu's voice.

Sugi was seriously offended. He snorted scornfully. "Who do you think you are talking to? You have the guts to treat me like you do to all your pathetic followers?" He flipped over Ryu's body and made his entry in a rough thrust.

"No!!!" Ryu screamed in pain and struggled. "Stop it!!! I don't want it!!! I'm not your toy!!! Stop!!!"

Sugi pulled back as his injured arm started to hurt and couldn't hold down Ryu's wriggling body. Humiliation burned like fire and he gritted his teeth angrily.

"Ryu.....how dare you....."

Before he could finish, Ryu cut in sharply. "I don't want to sleep with you. In fact, I NEVER EVER want to have sex with you anymore. Just get the hell out of here!!!"

Sugi barely suppressed his fury and hissed. "And you expect me to follow your order?" He grabbed Ryu's hair harshly and brought his face close. "Nobody orders me. Nobody!!"

"Then I beg you!!! Just leave me alone and go!!!" Tears bursted out suddenly and Ryu struggled to cover his face.

Sugi was dumbfounded. He let go of Ryu's hair and stared at him in disbelief. "What is this? What's wrong with you?!!! You're hurting me but why are you the one crying?!!"

Ryu wiped away his tears and turned his stiff back on Sugi.

"Is it about J? You are jealous of him and you are mad at me?" Sugi tried to speak calmly.

Ryu's heart contracted. He knew J was indeed the trigger because Sugi had never wanted anyone so badly. But then it could have been anybody, sooner or later Ryu would have to face the fact that he wanted more than Sugi could give. And he had long before crossed the limit of faking detachment and indifference, and clinging onto Sugi would only mean pain and only pain forever. Ryu thought bitterly, might as well suffer the hurt once and for all and be done with it.

"I'm giving up! I don't understand you at all." Sugi pulled on his clothes and trampled towards the door.

"Sugi....." Ryu called softly.

Sugi spun and stared at Ryu.

Ryu looked up with eyes red and swollen. "I love you, Sugi. And therefore this is the end."

Sugi gaped in shock. "What.....?"

Ryu closed his eyes to escape from seeing Sugi's expression, and to stop himself from crying.

A long silence passed. "You have got to be kidding." Sugi blurted out each word knife-sharp.

Ryu choked in bitterness and couldn't speak.

Sugi looked at Ryu's crumpled form in contempt. "If this is a game that you are playing, don't even think of trying to fool me. And if you mean what you said, then you are truly sad and pathetic."

Sugi turned sharply and banged the door shut hardly behind him. Ryu staggered to grab a bottle of liquer and collapsed back into the bed. Taking a long drag of the harsh liquid, he braced himself for the bleeding of his heart until oblivion came to his rescue.

*************************************************

J and Franz woke up with a start by the loud banging of their room door.

"I'll get it." J switched on the light and went to open the door. "Sugi!!! What are you doing here?!"

Sugi flung his arms over J's shoulders and kissed him urgently.

"Wait....." J's objection was muffled as his mouth was filled up instantly.

"I think I should dismiss myself, huh?" Franz winked teasingly at J as he put on a jacket, and then left the room.

J felt terrible about making Franz leave, but Sugi obviously paid no attention to the surrounding. Desire seemed to have taken control of Sugi as he kissed with a fever and desperation that J had never seen before.

"Sugi.....what's up?" J pulled away a little and tried to maintain his senses which threaten to snap loose any second.

"Nothing." Sugi threw himself onto J's naked chest and dragged him to fall together onto the bed. "Let's have fun. Let's not talk."

"But....."

Sugi suddenly grabbed hold of J's private part and gave it a naughty twist. "Look how hard it is.....but I wonder if it can last long enough for my appetite....."

J's heart ran wild as Sugi took it into his mouth.

"Wait!!" J jerked up and rolled away from Sugi. "You......you seem so strange......what happened?"

"Nothing!!!" Anger mounted in Sugi, he drew close and sucked hard on J's mouth in order to stop him from talking. When he sensed J's yet another stubborn attempt to speak, he swore and pulled away and walked straight to door in a rage.

J panicked and ran to door to block the way.

Sugi gave a frustrated sigh. "Fine!! You want to talk, right? Let's talk then. What do you want to talk about, huh?"

J flustered in bewilderment. "Are you angry?"

Sugi's temper reduced as he saw J's worried face. "No....." Sugi hugged J around his waist and leaned against his chest. "J.....do you love me?"

Sugi could hear J's heartbeat quicken as the reply came. "Yes....."

Sugi smiled sweetly at J and kissed him fondly.

J spoke softly between the kisses. "I wonder how many people before me have said they love you too.....maybe be too many.....and you being flattered and spoilt into such an arrogant brat."

"And you are this arrogant brat's slave, are you not?" Sugi giggled.

"How many slaves are actually under your knees? The entire school?"

"Ah, but they don't matter. You are always my favourite." Sugi whispered behind J's ears. "Say you love me again. I want to hear."

"Don't ask me for flattery, ask other people!" J snorted in mock anger.

"But when you say it, I don't feel afraid......"

J darted Sugi a puzzled look. "Who will say it and make you afraid? Afraid of what?"

Sugi turned away his face for fear of letting his trouble reveal itself.

"Nothing, J. Nothing." Then he smiled playfully at J again. "Are we done with the talking now? Let me show you what my favourite slave will get for his reward."

*************************************************

Ryu opened his eyes at the sound of window opening, and saw Ino standing by the window sill and looking at him. The bright sunlight was hurting his eyes and worsening his hangover.

"Your door wasn't locked." Ino said.

Covering his eyes with his hand, Ryu said in a hoarse voice. "Close the curtain......"

"This room stinks of alcohol......and you......look sick." Ino found a glass and filled it up with water. Pulling away Ryu's hand from his face, Ino put the glass in his hand.

Ryu struggled to sit up, severe dehydration drove him to gulp the water desperately. He choked and coughed loudly.

"You haven't been to school for days." Ino said.

Ryu laughed between his coughs. "And you came to lecture me about my absence?"

"Takuro said that you maybe.....ill." Ino put a plastic bag next to Ryu and turned to leave without another word.

Ryu looked inside the bag, there were panador, aspirin and many other kinds of medicine.

"Wait Ino!" Ryu got up from the bed, but his legs failed him and he fell to the ground. Ino's helping hands came as he had hoped, when he was settled back to his bed, he grabbed Ino's arm tightly not to let him go. "I.....thank you......"

Ino looked at the sickly white and gaunt face, and said nothing.

"The shocking amount of medicine you bought would be enough to revive me to life even if I was dead." Ryu chuckled. Seeing Ino blushed faintly, Ryu asked softly.

"Why.....why do you treat me so kind.....after I've done all those horrible things to you?"

Ino shook his head slightly.

"You are always so quiet." Ryu felt a warmth that seemed to have eased the ache in his heart. He rest his head on Ino's lap and closed his eyes. "Stay with me today? Just today, and I'll be fine tomorrow."

"Okay." Ino's reply was soft like a whisper.

*************************************************

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