Show covers all news fit to spoof By BRIAN BARBER World Staff Writer
2/23/2003

Mark Owens (left) portrays Mayor LaFortune in the 2003 Tulsa Press Club Gridiron show on Friday, as Marnie Ducato represents the Tulsa World. The Tulsa Press Club’s annual fund-raiser garnered $8,000 for Tulsa Public Schools and college scholarships.
ROBERT S. CROSS / Tulsa World

The Tulsa Press Club Gridiron puts a new spin on some of last year's headlines.

The show, titled "Oh Henry! or Call Me a Cockfight Optimist," was full of skits and songs that got to the funny bone about what really went on in the news last year.

It's an annual tradition that its victims take in stride, especially because it raised more than $8,000 this year for Tulsa Public Schools and for college scholarships.

LaFortune was on hand at the Bernsen Community Life Center to accept the Roasting Ear Award in honor of nabbing last year's most local headlines -- both good and bad.

"It's been a dream of a lifetime," he said with mock pride as he hung his trophy -- a golden ear of corn -- around his neck. "This is really what it's all about. There are so many people to thank, I couldn't possibly mention them all."

Not long before the presentation, LaFortune was stung by a skit dubbed "Wheel LaFortune," which took the mayor to task for constantly waffling on issues by trying to please everyone.

To the tune of "Wheel of Fortune," the Gridiron sang: "The Wheel LaFortune/ Goes spinning around/ Will the mayor point my way?/ Will this be my day?/ Oh, the Wheel LaFortune/ Please don't pass us by/ Let us know you listened more than a blink of an eye."

As organizer D.J. Morrow explained before the show, "These are observations that everyone pretty much knows are true but you just can't print in the newspaper."

Former Gov. Frank Keating, whose career has long been Gridiron fodder, was given a special tribute at Friday night's show in honor of his exit from public office and relocation to Washington, D.C.

Singing to the tune of "Moments to Remember," cast members David Averill and Jane Duenner as Keating and his wife, Cathy, bid farewell to the state.

"Ninety-four through last December/ We gave them moments to remember/ The brand new dome, the Dreyfuss plugs/ The day you called the teachers 'slugs'/ We will have these moments to remember."

The Gridiron took shots at all of the candidates for governor, including the winner, Henry, for having the most adorable, photogenic children.

To the tune of "Jesus Loves the Little Children," cast member Jerry Muratore as Henry sang, "Voters love the little children/ Love to see them on TV/ If you manage them just right, they are perfect little sights/ They will carry your campaign to victory."

Country singer Ronnie Furr shined on several songs, including the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" takeoff, "Books Cookin' Boogie," which tackled last year's corporate scandals.

"Up in the penthouse past the Better Business sign/ Well there's a CFO near the borderline/ The stock starts jumpin' every mornin' when a deal goes down/ They got a whiz kid thinkin', mirrors and smoke/ It's where all accountin' folk go to Books Cookin' Boogie."

The Gridiron show wouldn't have been complete without addressing the most controversial issue on the November ballot -- cockfighting.

"Ascot Gavotte" was redone to be "Ascot Cockfight," as cast members sang, "Ev'ry white trash clod and rube is here/ Ev'ryone who spits and chews is here/ Blades are gashing, chicken blood is splashing viewers at the last cockfight display/ In the stands are all the bumpkins betting on the roosters in the fray."

A running gag throughout the show had cast member Angela Smith as actress Winona Ryder stealing props, including one of the Tulsa Zoo's Penguins on Parade.

The Gridiron dates back to 1932, when the Oklahoma City troupe introduced its production to Tulsa, which started its own in 1954. The show had an all-male cast until 1986, when females were first introduced.

Brian Barber, World staff writer, can be reached at 581-8322 or via e-mail at brian.barber@tulsaworld.com .