UTOPIA COMEDIC OFFERINGS

UTOPIA COMEDIC OFFERINGS

The forum boards in Utopia can be the most liveliest place in the entire game. People regularly vent their feelings and at times it can be quite hilarious. Below is a list of my all time funniest things said on Utopian forum boards (Note: during age 11 we had both a tavern and a temple).

AGE 11

	January 11th, YR1 Life tis good to me. Our enemy tis good to me as well. They just opened their coffers to me and doth giveth me 172,774gc. Can you believe it? they said it was so I could better train my thieves!!!!!!!! ;) - Sir Rand Althor
	March 20th, YR2 Okay everyone sing along (sung to the tune of Rudolph the red nose reindeer)... My thieves visited the monarch of the enemy today when they walked in their castle they were really blown away Tons of gc and runes, were lying all around with not a trace of guards anywhere to be found So we took all we could thieve, and drag back our way then we saw a dream for thieves wizards sleeping, OH WHAT A DAY! so a few killings later without making a sound we were heading for home with smiles all around! :D LMAOROF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Sir Eagle Scream
	March 21st, YR2 Ahh I do say that was well done, how about another... -------------------------------------------------- Sung to the tune of Hark the heralds angels sing. Hail the re-turn of our thieves Who provide our every need Convincing enemies abroad To donate to our dear cause Killing wizards of our foes Bringing peasants to our fold Riots caused in lands unknown Housing torched, oh how it glows Hail, oh hail, our righteous thieves Who provide our every need! - Sir Eagle Scream
	April 11th, YR2 :( I failed math please end the war ASAP - Sir Eagle Scream *...* April 16th, YR2 visitors entering the temple notice the leader of Divine Fire constantly banging his head into the wall chanting over and over "bardus" - Sir Eagle Scream *...* April 18th, YR2 A child and her father are walking through the temple and come across the leader of Divine Fire still slamming his head into the wall chanting "what does bardus mean father" the child asks? "it is latin for stupid", the father replies. They both go on their way as Sir Eagle Scream continues his "meditation". LOL :( - Sir Eagle Scream *...* April 18th, YR2 Crazy sonofabitch.. :) - Mr. Mattrim *...* May 11th, YR2 bardus, bardus,... 2 Civilians walk into the temple. "Sir Eagle Scream your troops are back." says one The other says, "We wanted to present you with this to get your spirits up", hands him a piece of paper about 3 inches by 5 inches. Sir Eagle Scream looks at the piece of paper and quickly thanks the civilian and runs screaming for joy out of the temple as the civilans continue to walk the other asks, "what was on the piece of paper you just gave him?" The first answers, "something I know he will truly enjoy!" The second looks puzzled and asks, "is it a secret of the enemy he can exploit?" "no no", the first answers "Is it a winning lottery ticket?", the second asks "oh no, much better then that", the first responds "well what is it?" "An all you can eat buffet ticket for the tavern", states the first civilian with a smile. "YOU GAVE THAT TO A DWARF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Sir Eagle Scream *...* May 11th, YR2 Sir Eagle Scream runs wildly into the tavern and grabs the first table and chair he can find and pulls them over to the food counter where he starts eating in a wild frenzy... - Sir Eagle Scream *...* May 21st, YR2 Moderation my friend, moderation is what you need. Sorta funny me sayin that; I am the only person in this kingdom who does nothing but go after the money every waking moment. LOL - Sir Corwin of Chaos
	April 13th, YR2 Hurrah! Hurrah! We burned the bastards out! Hurrah! Hurrah! We put them all to rout! We stole their pigs and cattle and we dumped their sauerkraut, While we were marching through [insert name of province]! - Sir Corwin of Chaos
	June 7th, YR2 BAH! Don't you just hate when they come online when you are stealing from them LOL :( Rogue Mist (4:31) You send your thieves, and the operation commences... We lost 9 thieves in the operation, but ... Early indications show that our operation was a stunning success. Our thieves have returned with 0gc. - Sir Eagle Scream
	On May 15th, YR4, we received this note... To The Honorable Lord Eagle Scream Send out more troops next time... :-) Got a better target anyway, so your safe... Signed, Mr. Smite of Smite (33:18)
	June 12th, YR4 May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! May 22nd We have found thieves from Dark Light (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! June 2nd Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by girthia (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 2nd Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by girthia (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 2nd Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by girthia (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 2nd Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by girthia (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 7th Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by The Darkness Within (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 7th Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by The Darkness Within (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 7th Our mages noticed a possible spell attempt by The Darkness Within (30:25) causing trouble on our lands! June 7th We have found thieves from The Darkness Within (30:25) causing trouble within our lands! June 7th We have found thieves causing trouble within our lands. Unfortunately, we know not where they came from. Well, I think I can say with freat accuracy who's in charge of pathetic thievery and useless magic in 30:25...
	June 22nd, YR5 I plan on peace for (get this , Hehe) , 19 to 20 Utopian days !! Allow thieves stealth to return and try to have your troops home and ready ! Build up your thieves also as we may go doing a little honor grabbing in our next war ! Let's prepare and be ready to have and win a great battle in our next war !!! - King Diamond ... June 24th, YR5 Ahh peace, something our kingdom doesn't experience that often. Feels nice once in a while. LOL, hope it doesnt last too long ;-) ;-) - Lord Noetall ... July 7th, YR5 peace whats that? something that can be eaten? - Mr. Chaos