Weekly feature: OCTOBER 25th?, Who remembers? For that matter, where is my memory stored? I'm forty-three years old.

You'd think my head would be full by now! I know it's not empty! 

Starlight and Phantasms

Dungeons Dank with rotting needs?
Not for us, my Friends!

Wails of Anguish, from fears unknown?
Not for us, my Friends!

Instead I plead,
Turn your eyes towards Heaven;
Keep grasping for the spice that leavens:
Laughter, Tears, Emotions varied;
Light our way, while here we tarry.

Angels abound to help us see,
that perfection, FINISHED, will never BE.

Time is motion, forward or back,

Trust your HEART!

Choose your OWN track!

-DSTARKOVICH, OCT./NOV. 97 

Dave has some new

PRAISES TO SING:
(NON-MUSICAL PRAISES!)
I read and heard a wonderful "article" today about a conceptual artist. A great article with a very well done audio interview recreating a "live" interview between Journalist and Artist. It was a discussion of the net. Through it all I felt a sense of excitement. Something IMPORTANT was happening here. And then it "hit" me! IMAGINE an anthropologist in the year 4000 uncovering THESE RECORDS we call the net? Anthropologists today work with BROKEN POTTERY and remnants of vast, BEAUTIFUL, ART-FULL, Civilizations. And what I see on the net is a proliferation of very personal, open, pages of all sorts.
WE are "preserving for posterity" our very hopes, dreams, realities that we call "LIFE!!"
IF 'anyone out there' watches the WORLD, (INCLUDING the technological mediums, i.e. ANYTHING broadcast through the air waves), no WONDER they stay away!
I would for sure until common sense replaced common conflicts in our little corner of the sky!
The World's PEOPLE and OUR world associations are doing a beautifully fantastic balancing act (tension within meaning) and "job" (play around with that one, yourselves!) of healing "the worlds growing (personal fears and societies' global ills) pains".
Now, pardon my intrusion into world affairs. Keep it up, Luvs! Learn to compromise your beliefs a bit, don't assume you understand another's motivations OR expectations, and we're on our way to a much better, much more BEAUTIFUL World Society!!!! How APPEALING this present is to me! Let's BUILD the future together in a way we've never even TRIED before!
Dave Starkovich November 13, 97. 

Nov. 17th, 1997 weekly update! I'm planning a party! (BY INVITATION ONLY!!!) I feel there is just too much attention on who gets to host a millenium party in 2000, or is it 2001?

I read a great book review at the www.sfgate.com that inspired me to start planning right now!
When?
January 1st. 2038! Yes the day after! It's too crowded New Years Eve!
Hope I'm still smiling this little grin that I'm sporting right this very instant! (Kenny's sleeping and I'm trying to be quiet! It's 3:42 in the morning according to California Time! My computer says that, anyway!
!!!! 

Thought Pollution exists as readily as the pollution of the seas and other's homes! We, as humans, need to clean up our act, our homelives, and the world about us! We're only in charge of it's CLEANLINESS!

Mother Nature must be pretty "pissed-off"! WE MIMIC! YET WE POLLUTE!
Me? I pollute too, but I tell it like I see it, that's ALL! P.S. I do watch the news too! Have you seen the report on the mysterious oil globules floating around in our neighbors' homes? 

A PRAYER FOR LOVE

By Darrin Pruitt
Let these feable forms fall on the hearing
of the cause of this and ultimate reason of the universe
Let the wind bring change as it will
and reveal the relief of the extremes
high passion and low reason; let the answers be.
Let the heart grow larger for the scar tissue
of experience and need
and for frailty and mistakes a prayer goes out
for assurance and assuaging of shame
made aware that grace brings this precious gift
and remains about us even though we lose.
Let us love because we are struck immoblile by the beloved
and his beauty
not mistaking our needs for our highest potential to give.
Let us not seek to change or possess
but accept and share the sacred fragility
of the rare moments together.
Let us love, let us love
and know the truth a little better.

Thanks Darrin for your permission to use your poems on my site! What a true friend you are!

Dave

Dec.1

Did you see the stage play, SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE?
I remember they were having some technical difficulties, but Lily Tomlin showed what a trooper and genius she really is.
I cried when in the final line of the first act, she said something like, 'Guess I'll just have to learn to care a little less.'
I cried tears of Beauty that is!
I see so much care and concern in the world these days that I wonder at the confusion.
Caring = sharing concerns and solutions. In my opinion.
(I'm getting tired of saying that!).
(So don't say that?)
(Yeah, sure; what reality do you come from?)
Later, annonymous readers! Stay annonymous, it's your right! Exercise it! I'm flattered when I see the hits with no advertising! What would I advertise this place as? I haven't the foggiest idea!

For December Seventh. (I'm taking a break!)

A musical offering!
(Heave a sigh of relief!)(Grin!)
Stranger in Paradise! Doesn't it just figure!
You'll need the Netscape/Lucent Media Player. It's on the tour, next stop!

December 21, 1997

Now, in my estimation there is no ABSOLUTE TRUTH. So understand that this (my sites in progress) is from my personal perspective with all of it's glorious faults and insights. (Personal SIN vs. personal SALVATION.)
This is how I approach life. I am in absolute control of my personal perspective and actions only.
ONLY I can decide what is TRUE for me. ONLY I KNOW my individuality.
I attempt to 'control' my future by building in the present , using my experiences from my past.
Why say this?
Because the "aids cocktail" only works for fifty percent of those who try it. Why, I don't know.
Different personal habits, perceptions, intentions, and expectations is my best answer.
Why put this up for the world to see? Easy. The net has cured my shyness and my guilt about my "babbleness". It's about documentation!
My medical condition has never been hidden from any of my personal acquaintances, so why hide it from a stranger? It's necessary to MY story! My gayness is certainly obvious in the real world, ( the net is only a communications tool, after all!) which is why I go gung-ho on my personal site. This is my Place On The Net for me to "let it all hang out". Which I really don't do completely, believe it or not! I'd say ten percent of my personality is exhibited in the three sites I have here. (Vienna/2259, Vienna/6724, WestHollywood/Village/1954, each a separate yet connected work of art in progress.)
What motivates me?
Erasure's courage,
Ru Paul's courage,
Alison's courage,
Ellen's courage, of course.
The courage to be one's TRUE self is all it took me to understand the World I Love more completely.
Love is truly magical, you know. Or perhaps you don't. Nothing I can say will prove it to you if you don't already know this, so why bother?
I have three sites, each a different perspective, yet only ten percent of my personality. What do I need to prove to whom?
What do any of us need to prove to one another?
To me, Life is a palindrome; you solve your past as you can, returning to the innocence and guilt-free wonder of youth. I have done this at the tender age of forty-three, yet I suspect that the older generations might be the most understanding of my idiosyncrasies. They would recognize as do I, my own innocence, in a world of jadedness. I define my innocence as the ability to NOT expect that the day will be the usual fare. I LIKE to be surprised. I LIKE to change. I'm quite adaptable, and I work a little each day on each project, knowing I have a special gift, the gift of enough time in my day. I have a modest pension for the rest of my life. My financial security is secure without the need for me to return to work, something I cannot do, as my t-cells are below 100. My Hope is at about 1000%! My expectations are my biggest problem, as is probably true for you. We all like to dream big!
It's OUR, TRUE, NATURE!
I see it in our history and our writings, don't you? I told Kenny the other day, that the world seems to be learning politeness and diplomacy before our very eyes. He agreed. War and strife have not disappeared by any means, but we see wonderful perspectives prevailing.
Part of me is a storyteller. I like telling stories. That's enough motivation for me, I'm a "ham" with a hidden purpose! (not so hidden! If you can't meet them (your 'heroes'), join them individually, as a separate but equal personality!). Grin!.
Who supports me? Kenny Cowan. Here's what he wrote in our Journal for me:
December 19th, 1997
My Love,
My vow to you:
To Love you Forever,
Unconditionally and with the freedom of my soul.
You make my life feel whole and wonderful.
To let you express your Love within, your own way.
My Life is Heaven with you.
To be always your bad angel,
To guard over you always.
With Love,
Your Love
Some not so random thoughts:
Consider MYTHS as instruments of definition AND change; changing through the years to encourage the development of humanity. Culture clashes and affinities, personal clashes and affinities all loosely conform and combine to create a "stable" present. Yet no action is without a reaction. Cause and effect apply to the physical universe, but we are more than physical. Humanity so far has defined this as the spiritual, evidenced through people's search for their own identity and individuality.
Do I follow a religion? No. I follow those religious principles that work for me. Why the distinction? ALL religions claim to be the ONL:Y proper way to be enlightened. They claim patents on the truth! Truth changes as concepts change, but self-honesty always remains constant!

Self-Honesty = following your HEART!

Which principles? Well the Boy Scouts of America's a very good one! They didn't mean SEXUALLY straight to me you see. I NEVER even thought of sex when thinking of their code of honor. I was pre-pubescent, and definitely a late bloomer!
I was thinking MORALLY STRAIGHT! Or perhaps these days I should say ETHICALLY straight, since morality seems to have been patented by the religious right. What stupids some of my fellow humans can be. Me too for that matter. I'm pretty stupid in many areas!

I have a "personal religion" that is my own 'business'. As to whether it works or not, it works for me and Kenny. Personally I believe that all Life is a reflection of truths we have yet to comprehend. Our history, dreams, and imaginations in waking life, both personal and collective, reveals our desires and our progress.
To view each advance of understanding by a comparative religious developmental attitude, is to understand that myths change to promote a better 'good' , through the years.
This site is an example of how a "moment in time" (one year actually) is never finished, just as creation and creative people are never quite satisfied with a work of art. I'm a slow artist, so it will take time to finish what "I" started in October of 1996. I believe creation itself is never finished, realizing that time and times passage through space is a necessary aspect of duration. Our marking of the passing of time hints at the true duration of what we accomplish as referenced from a non-decaying dream state. Don't know if that's true, but it sounds nice! My dreams seem to take place outside the laws of physics, don't yours?
(I wrote this as my reality took the shape of dreams! Kenny and I got MAGIC, as a result! Perhaps the dream state and the waking state are NOT separate, just noticed or not! Perhaps Isaac Asimov had it right: There IS a "FOUNDATION" that plans our future possibilities: US, in the DREAM STATE! Frankly, AFTER my experience linked above, I KNOW THIS IS TRUE! I SAW the waking and dream states as ONE!
-Dave Starkovich, May, 1998)

Our imaginations , as evidenced, say in Isaac Asimov's life works, perhaps are a reflection of the way our dreams normally blend with waking consciousness to produce growth. Same for Robert Heinlien, one of my favorite authors. I know my music speaks to my present from my past and illuminates the generalities of my future.
All physical things perish, yet I believe that which is spiritual never perishes. This is not a new dichotomy in our world of opposites. I just see no contradiction in suspended opposites. I also do not adhere to ONE written interpretation, even my own.
And I see the possibilities of Life as more "opportunistic" than previously said.
Wanna compare notes? That's what the net is ALL about in my personal estimation!
BUT BE CAREFUL!!!!
THE ENDS NEVER JUSTIFY THE MEANS!

The Tower of Babble is a myth that points to a GIFT, our differing languages, our differing cultures, our differing beliefs. Could the reality be contained in ONE culture, ONE language, ONE belief?
Religion, Culture, and (dare I say it?) Politics, exist NOT to perpetuate DOGMA, but to reveal differing codes of Life and Love, as time goes by.
It's time for humanity to realize that ALL NATURE, both inanimate and animate are worthy of our sacred Respect and Love. They are all "conscious of their own nature" on SOME level, otherwise the intense motion in an inanimate object would not be contained by the natural laws.
Perhaps this is why the medieval ages hold such an attraction to some. At that time, Magic was part of the waking consciousness, hence all the tales of magic from that period. We 'lost' that when science was 'born'. Love is magical, nature is magical, we are all magical in our own individual way, if we choose to see Life that way.
I'm not Stile, (see Poul Anderson!), but I've got my own individual style!

Our true being exists outside of this physical reality and time, hence the concept of incarnation, only now being explored by writers and entertainers,
the "documentors" of our collective imagination.

Why say this?
Why NOT say this, I respond! What do you think I should FEAR?

GRIN!

Don't FEAR life!
REVEL IN IT!

  

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