KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

402.
Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

403.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A: A vacant posession.

404.
Q: What did the blonde's dentist find?
A: Teeth in the cavity.

405.
Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.

406.
Q: WHat does a car fatality and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either in a car and their fucked.

407.
Q: What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: A padded dash.

408.
Q: Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens?
A: They couldn't find their eraser.

409.
Q: What is the most difficult thing to teach a blonde?
A: To count to twenty-eight. (Cycle of a period).

410.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

411.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!

412.
Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

413.
Q: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A: She wanted to go on a round trip.

414.
Q: How do you know whether or not the blonde you slept with last night gave you a good blow-job?
A: The sheets are sucked up your ass.

415.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

416.
Q: How can you tell a blonde has been playing games on your computer?
A: There's lipstick on the joystick.

417.
Q: Why do most of blondes have blue eyes?
A: Because the back of their skull is painted blue.

418.
Q: Why do some of blondes have green eyes?
A: Because there was not enough blue color to paint the back of their skulls.

419.
Q: What can a blond do if she falls from a boat, in order not to drown?
A: Close her mouth and put her fingers in her ears. She will stay floating until the help arrives.

420.
Q: Why do some of blondes drown even if they do close their mouths and ears?
A: Because for some of them the volume of their heads is too small to keep them floating.

421.
Q: How can You tell a blonde with a runny nose from a healthy blonde, without looking at their faces?
A: Knock on their heads - the one with the perfect hollow sound is healthy.

422.
Q: What did the disco band drummer do to their blonde singer when they came to give a show and he discovered that she forgot to put the drum in the car?
A: He took her head off (The show was a big success).

423.
Q: Why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with crest?
A: She heard that it reduces cavities.

424.
Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

425.
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

426.
Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

427.
Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE PUT HER FINGER OVER THE NAIL WHEN SHE WAS HAMMERING?
A: The noise gave her a headache.

428.
Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

429.
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

430.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

431.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

432.
Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
A: You can also sit upright in a car.

433.
Q: What's the definition of a metallurgist?
A: A man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore.

434.
Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: Vaseline and Poli-Grip.

435.
Q: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

436.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute?
A: Prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's

437.
Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

438.
Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.

439.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB?
A: The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

440.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A BITCH?
A: A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.

441.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

442.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CORN FARMER WITH EPILEPSY AND A BLONDE WITH DIARRHEA?
A: One shucks between fits.

443.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

444.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

445.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

446.
Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

447.
Q: What is a blonde's idea of dental floss?
A: Pubic hair.

448.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

449.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

450.
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

451.
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.

452.
Q: What did the blind blonde say to her new boyfriend as she was making love to him?
A: "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."

453.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.

454.
Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?
A: Thanks for the refill.

455.
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

456.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

457.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

458.
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

459.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

460.
Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

461.
Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: She opens the car door.

462.
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

463.
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.

464.
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

465.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

466.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

467.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

468.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

469.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

470.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.

471.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

472.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

473.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

474.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

475.
Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

476.
Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.

477.
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

478.
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

479.
Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

480.
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

481.
Q: WHAT CAN SAVE A DYING BLONDE?
A: Hair transplants.

482.
Q: WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE WOKE UP UNDER THE COW?
A: What are you guys still doing here?

483.
Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.

484.
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

485.
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

486.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard the British were coming?
A: She stopped sucking.

487.
Q: What did the blonde say when she was showed her newborn baby in the delivery room?
A: I'm not going to suck anything *that* small.

488.
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

489.
Q: What does a blond say during a porno?
A: There I am!!

490.
Q: Why doesn't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?
A: Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place.

491.
Q: What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?
A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

492.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

493.
Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
A: She was having sunny periods.

494.
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

495.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, her knees bag.

496.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is horny?
A: Stick your hand down her panties. If it feels like a horse eating oats, she's horny.

497.
Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.

498.
Q: What's the ultimate embarassment for a blonde?
A: When her Ben-Wa balls set off the airport metal detector.

499.
Q: What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: A hundred dollar bill.

500.
Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.