Blah, blah, blah....

The grand experiment. I am starved from not posting so writing in text on Word '97 and hoping for the best when I upload.

I had a bit of an "epiphany" today. I realized that the very thing that I needed the most I was ignoring. I write because I can and need to. I stay in touch with friends because they are my life-line to sanity. I had been neglecting both. No more.

Same old worries prevail. Will they rent this apartment. Will Pop be "allowed" to stay in the rehab as long as he needs. Will the remodeling of the house be done in time. Will I survive another move?

Probably. Too all.

This program is a hoot. It doesn't like my grammar a bit. I really can't blame it. But I don't write to be correct. I just write, I guess.

I have been unable to do the reading I usually do. I also have been neglecting my fiberart-crochet and knitting. I kind of feel like everything is on hold until we get moved.

I do this a lot. Put my life on hold. As much as I have moved you would think that I would be over this by now. But I am not. I need my "nest" so much. And when I know I am about to be uprooted---well, I just fall apart a bit.

Dad is going to require long-term care-my role as caregiver is definitely cemented. I don't know why I write this. I have always know it-but for some reason-it is still a shock. There is not turning back.

I think if I can just get through this month and the move I will be ok. I will have my "routine" and my "space". I don't know what makes me this way. I just am.

To those of you who read and are kind enough to correspond---please don't feel obligated to mess around with this site for the next couple of weeks. I really think it will be around March until I am once again able to emotionally devote myself here. Until that time it will be very "stream of consciousness" type stuff. Not for very good reading---but very good for keeping my sanity.

Journi

P.S. As in after thought. Although I can write in my Wod '97 program it doesn't do paragraph breaks. Horrified enough tonight to edit them it---I promise nothing for the near future.

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