I currently live in the Washington, DC area. I really love it here. There's so much to do and there are always interesting things going on. It was a big mistake living with my ex when we moved here, but at that time I didn't know. I've always lived in smaller towns and at first DC was daunting. I was a scared, abused and unable to work. On the positive side, I think it was this city that helped bring my problems to the forefront. I would see news specials on television about spousal abuse and think, "That's ME. Now how do I deal with that!?" I think that in some cases living in a larger city helped me. There were more places to go to help victims and there were also was an awareness that I didn't see in some of the smaller towns in which we lived. Even though I didn't use any of these services (looking back now I SHOULD have as they were there to help women like me!) I later volunteered for some of them. I will be adding links to these sources later as this web page develops. If you are in a situation like mine I urge you to check out organizations about battered and abused women.

I slowly got my life together. I started to work again and I have to admit that was one of the roughest parts of the healing I had to go through. I had a very hard time with male authority figures and it took me a long time to realize that I wasn't inferior. It also took me a while to learn that just because a man is in a position of authority he's not going to "punish" me if I do something wrong. I almost lost a job because of these fears - if I felt like I made a mistake I would miss work because I would be so worried about the outcome. It took a very understanding female boss to help me deal with these fears. I ended up keeping and staying with that job for 3 years. I currently am working as an office manager for a large international security firm. I work for the President of the company and the Director of Sales. Both men! We have a great relationship and I enjoy this job as well! I'm learning a lot. They treat me with respect and treat me like gold. How I got this job I'll never know, and I consider it a great bit of luck!

After getting settled with a job I had another dilemma to deal with - relationships! At this point I hadn't even explored my bisexuality so it wasn't even an issue, so what to do about men? Well, I met a wonderful man and started dating. He treated me very well and we saw each other for a couple of years. He was 15 years older than me but he was a gentleman. He taught me that relationships could be good and people should be treated well. The most important thing he taught me about was RESPECT and that my wishes/views deserved respect. It wasn't easy by any means, but we got through it! Even though we broke off the romantic part of the relationship he is still a great friend. He even wrote my wedding when we were married.

When I saw that it was possible again to have relationships I wondered how to meet men that I would have a lot in common with. I pondered it and came up with the personal ads. I knew it was a long shot, but I was pretty specific about my ad and I got 30 responses. One message on the voice mail was a very nice sounding man named Dave. We agreed to meet and when we finally went on our first date, we knew it was magickal! That was February 15th, 1992! We were married on May 14, 1994!

My relationship with my husband is the best relationship I've ever had. He's understanding and very kind. We also have a lot in common and enjoy doing a lot together. I feel that we were meant to be together. I've learned a lot of lessons over the years and the hardest was to have HOPE! Without hope a person is inclined to just give up. Everyone is worthy of love and respect and people need to be educated about spousal abuse.

I hope that my reading my story it has helped you deal with some of your own issues or at least understand what others are going through.

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