Well here we are at the bottom of the hill and as usual it is a noisy start. There would be a calm before the storm! I had been doing okay health-wise and my new job was going just great! I really wanted this job to go somewhere, because I really thought I had a chance of making good on this attempt of making something out of my life. This was going to be my way of showing my parents that they could be proud of their gay son. I had been out to my family and at this point quiet a few people. I was not out at work. I thought it was a moot point, as long as I did my job, and did it well, what difference did it make if I was gay much less HIV-positive! The only change that I made in my daily routine was that I had added 12 pills a day that I had to take everyday as prophylactic (preventative) medicine. I thought once again to myself, just another little problem that I guess I was going to have to deal with.
My new relationship was going great. My partner was already on long-term disability from his job of 14 years. Now why would anybody put himself in a relationship were both people know that they both have a terminal disease? Actually this type of situation isn't that unusual based on the fact that you both have a lot in common. His health was a little bit more fragile then mine, but he was a fighter, or so I thought. I would find out just the opposite but I need to get back to where I was. So anyway, I went to work and he took care of the house. We talked a lot about HIV and AIDS. We wondered why some of our friends seemed to get sick faster and just die like that, with a snap of a finger. Then there were people like myself who were working and felt fine, or so I thought, even though I was positive. My T-cells seemed to be holding steady around 300 (an average persons T-cell count is around 1100-1500). Why were they holding? I still cannot answer this question.
As I stated earlier, The roller coaster ride had begun and it was the silent time before the top of the hill comes up, and suddenly your on your way to some twist and turns and you don't know where you'll end up. I had chronic bronchitis for the next two years as well as a constant sinus infection. In 1990 I hit the top of the hill and thought I can deal with this. I had just been given my latest, and soon to be my last promotion at work. I had taken on a huge responsibility and committed myself to some times 70 hours a week at work. I never imagined that it would affect my job! The fevers started! I just took aspirin to keep them under control. Just another problem! I lost 20 pounds which put me at 130 which wasn't good for someone 5'7". I also started noticing my energy level was running at 1/3 the amount that it should have been. I was in denial! I knew there was something wrong, but we had just started to layout our Christmas plans at the store and I didn't have time for this annoying disease. I would not let this disease take away my best chance at glory!
One day in November my boss found me in my office passed out covered in sweat! She immediately had a co-worker drive me home and another follow them, to bring them back to work. I called the doctor and went to see him. I had walking pneumonia and so he started me on a heavy antibiotic, now we were up to 14 pills a day. I was also told to stay home for three days. Well, I went back to work after talking to the doctor. He basically told me that if I didn't stop working so hard I was going to end up killing myself. My T-cells had dropped to below 200 and my white blood count was very low. I told the doctor that all I wanted to do was finish up the Christmas season at work and the year-end inventory and I would do what ever he thought best. We agreed and I would stop working January 6, 1991. I finished Christmas and the last two weeks after that were inventory, by that time I only had the energy to work half days. On the night of inventory at midnight my boss came up to me and personally walked me to the employees entrance. She told me that she was very proud of me, but now it was time for me to take care of myself. I said thank you walked to my car, started to drive away. I cried all the way home.
The next 3 years would end up being the worst twist and turns my Roller Coaster ride would take....
