The night before the funeral I received a phone call from his family. The basic message was that they thought it would be better if I didn't attend the funeral as to save any embarrassment, that my apparent presence might cause, his family surely not mine. Well, needless to say a small fight ensued verbally, but I was to emotionally worn to fight so I conceded and told them fine, to have his sister that lived near us to come pick up his ashes on her way to the funeral, then I slammed down the phone! I was so upset, crying my eyes out. I called my parents immediately, 11:30 at night, and told them what had happened. They wanted to come over, but I said no I'd be fine. I just wanted to let them know what was going on. I told them to go back to sleep and I would chat in the morning when my head was clearer. No more than five minutes after I had hung up, my dad called me back and told me that "WE WOULD ATTEND THE FUNERAL!" We would go wearing our Red Ribbons and our heads would be held high, because we had nothing to be ashamed of, and if his family had a problem with us, that would be their problem. I was so very proud of my dad at that moment!
So we went to the funeral, at which the minister didn't even know anything about my partner and no one else got to say anything during the service, except the minister. It was mentioned that it was terrible that a young life such as his, had been taken because of CANCER!!! Not due to complications of HIV/AIDS! HMM??? The whole service took less then 20 minutes, and then it was over. I was thanked for coming as a friend of the family, not as his friend and companion for seven years, that was at his side when he died not his family. I was apparently irrelevant
The 2-hour ride back home was somber. I didn't have a clue where to go, what to do, cry, laugh, get mad, or just go back and sit in our now empty house. I should say, back to the home we had built together, that now had a giant hole in it, one that I would never be able to patch. My parents dropped me off at the house. I hugged them, thanked them and sent them on home. I entered our home. The first thing I saw was the hospital bed he passed away in, they had not yet picked it up from the hospice. I walked over to it laid done on it with no sheets on it, just the cold plastic covered mattress, and cried myself to sleep. None of this was fair! There was so much more to face but it would have to wait until tomorrow!
