A CUBBIE LOOKS AT BASEBALL
by Nivram Snedrag (1995)
Sung to "A Pirate Looks At Forty"
-Ghosted by Toby Gibson
Harry Carry screaming, "Holy- Cow play ball!"
Watchin' the Cubs on WGN since I was three feet tall
and ev'ry fall -- I've seen 'em fall
Watched the Cubbies road games playin' every team.
And out on Waveland bums of the bleachers that ev'ry one has seen
Most of 'em dream, dream of a team
Yes I am a Cub fan, two hundred years too wait
With bats they thunder, and then they blunder
I'm another underdog of fate
No Series to date, no Series to date
They run the double play ball, they shag 'em in the grass
They had a good chance in '69, but they pissed it away so fast
They wind up dead last, they wind up dead last
And I have been drunk now for the whole nine inning's
As Harry and I was singin' and the sinkers were spinnin'
But I gotta stop bitchin' and White Sox switchin'
Battin' rock bottom again
The Cubs never win, the Cubs never win
(instrumental)
I went for Donny Kessinger, and even Big Mark Grace
Oh how they could play, but as for to-day
The National League disgrace
Next year just wait, next year just wait
Harry Carry, Bud-man, after all the years I've found
Our Wrigley Field Cubbies being Cubs continu'lly cellar door bound
I hang my head down, gonna leave this Chi-town
Coda:
The clowns of Chi-towns, these Cubs of Chi-town
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
PARROT HEAD REPUBLIC
by Nivram Snedrag
Sung to "Banana Republic"
-Ghosted by Toby Gibson
Off to Key West in Florida, down to the tropical sun
Go the Margaritaville Parrot Heads, hopin' to find some fun
Some of them go for the shopping, caught by the lure of the scam
Tryin' to find what is "Buffett", never' even seeing the sham
Some of them are coming for t-shirts, charging their cards to the max
Some of them are wanting bumper stickers
Most are running out of all their cash
Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In those over-priced tourist traps
Chugging all those margaritas but no beer that's kept on tap!
Dropping their last fucking dollar on a bobble that's "one of a kind"
Singin' all the songs they know by heart
And then they form a conga line
First they go to Captain Tony's
an' sing lets get drunk and screw
They look for that line from "Mango"
It's re-written every week or two
Expatriated parrot head feelin' so all alone
Margaritaville has died
They drive their way back home
Down in the Parrot Head Republics, things aren't as warm as they seem
All of the natives are selling any second-hand Parrot Head dreams
Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In those over-priced tourist traps
Chugging all those margaritas but no beer that's kept on tap!
Dropping their last fucking dollar on a bobble that's one of a kind
Singin' all the songs they know by heart
And then they form a conga line
Down to the Parrot Head Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated parrot head hopin' to find some fun
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
GOLF SWINGS
by Kevin Axt (1997)
Sung to "Boat Drinks"
Bubba, The Salty Dog - Thankx for the inspiration
Golf swing
I just can't master my golf swing
Damn ball won't stay on the fairway
Everything seems to go wrong
Lately, I got this brand new golf gadget
I paid 'bout three hundred dollars
It promised a low handicap
It makes me so mad when I can't hit the ball
My blood pressure rises I kick the golf cart
Screaming "damn it", maybe I need some new clubs
This mornin', I shot six holes (of golf) in my freezer
I got to get me a walk-in
Lots more headroom in the big ones
I'd like to go play at Pebble Beach
Can you pay for my green fee's, please?
I could get golf tips from Jack Nicholas
I'm sure he'd be happy to help
Oh I know, (I know)
I shouldn't play in my freezer
My wife says I trample the fishsticks
But I'm a real golf fanatic
Golf swing
Tiger Woods, I need a new golf swing
Then I'm going to play on the real links
I gotta go where it's warm (Where's the damn freezer door)
I gotta go where it's warm (Where's the damn freezer door)
I gotta play on the LINKS!
I gotta go where the grass it does grow
Where the greens they are slow
'Cause my freezer headroom's too low
I gotta play on the links
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
DIRECTIONS TO (RACAfest IN CINCINNATI)
by Kevin Axt (1997)
Sung to "Desperation Samba (Halloween In Tijuana)"
RACAfest in Cincinnati
It's way north of home
Don't know how to get 'cross the US border
In this Parrothead disguise
I'd read 'bout last year's great party
On the Buffett list
Thought I'd go up from Tijuana and see just what I missed
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
GOP's they're twirlin'
Out on the ballroom floor
I'm beginnin' to want to samba with
That there ironin' board
Rocky the Rhemora
Is on all T-shirts
Can't tell what he's doin'
Wait ain't that my design
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
I really enjoy meetin' all these email friends
On the List I lurk but here I fit right in
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
--Spoken
"Lager, Pilsner, Ale"
"It's all beer to me!"
R A C A
R A C A
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
Yo there BD, are you north of Dallas town
Or are you up in Canada, eh, I need directions
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
GOD'S OWN LISTSERV
(With apologies to Richard Buckley and Jimmy Buffett)
by Stu Gittleman
Sung to "God's Own Drunk"
Well, like I explained to y'all before I ain't no e-mailin' man.
I quit after the last irrelevant thread and I swore I'd never do it again.
But I promised Big Dog Lack that I'd watch his list while he went into town to get some RAM chips.
It was up there at muohio.edu where the computer said it would be.
Friends let me tell you one thing though, it wadn't no ordinary list.
It stood up there on that hard-drive like... like a huuuuuuge chunk 'o bandwidth
The computers blue screen was a' shinin' on the cool clear evenin',
The printer's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off on the desk and,
Like I explained to you once before, I ain't no e-mailin' man,
But, temptation got the best of me, and I made a post...
(wshew!... woah...)
Those letters showin' up on my screen like
a Michener novel, and I wrote another post.
Did another and another and another,
'fore you knew it I'd followed up ten whole threads o' that shit
and commenced to get carpal-tunnel syndrome.
Goosepimples was runnin' up and down my body
and a feelin' came over me like,
somethin' I'd never experienced before,
It's like, like I was in love,
In love for the first time,
with anything that posted...
Buffett - no Buffett - it didn't matter.
It's like there's a error message flashin' on and off in my UNIX system sayin,
"Newbit User - there's a great day a comin'..."
'Cause I'd used my disk-quota!
Now I wadn't, a bow-tie wearin', pocket protector totin',
Bill Gates Lovin', Modem-huggin' geek,
this was God's own listserv, and a fearless bunch;
And that's when I first saw the sysadmin.
He was a IBM lookin' fella 'bout 19 feet tall
he rambled up over the CPU 'spectin' me to do one of two things:
logout or signoff,
I didn't do either one.
It hung him up.
He starts sniffin' 'round my monitor tryin' to find all that usage
but he ain't gonna find no usage,
'cause this is God's Own Listserv and a fearless bunch.
It hung him up.
He turned off my computer to show me he was a bad-ass,
but I'd been starin at that screen for hours and my eyes,
my eyes was a lot redder than his was.
It hung him up.
So I approached him and I said,
"Mr. Sysop, I love every program on your 27 gigabyte hard drive.
I know you got a lotta friends over there on the internet.
There's ole' Fido-net, BitNet,
Internet, AOL, Prodigy, Compuserve, Delphi...
I want you to go logon over there tonight and tell 'em I'm feelin' right.
You tell 'em I love each and every one of 'em like a brother and a sister;
but if they give me any trouble tonight,
I'll flame every Goddamned one of 'em --
right off of the NET!!!"
He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think.
Neither did I, but, being net.wise and not a newbie,
well, hell, I approached him again.
I said, "Mr. Sysop, you know in the eyes of the Listserv,
we're both just users when it comes right down to it.
So I want you to be my buddy,
'Buddy SysOp.'"
So I took ole' Buddy Sysop by his island sized RAM-cache
and I signed him on to the listserv
Now he's a' lookin' at that monitor 'cause he's seein'somethin' good.
I gave him one of of the four parts of the FAQ and he read it upright,
(looked like Big Bill Gates at Microsoft programming Windows in the moonlight.)
I gave him another and another and another
'fore I knew it, he'd downed eight of 'em and commenced to do the "followup."
Two keystrokes, an icon, a snort, a mouse, and a grunt;
and it was so simple like the MacIntosh
it plumb evaded me.
Well, we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar
and I's awful tired, went over to the Dorm, and I laid down, went to sleep,
slept for four hours, and dreamt me some tremulous dreams --
I think Savannah Jane was in one of them --
And when I woke up,
Oh, there was the computer's blue screen shinin'
on the clear cool evenin'.
And the Printer's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off on the desk,
And my buddy the Sysop was a' missin'...
yeah, you want to know somethin' else friends and neighbors,
so was my net account!
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
THE GREAT ALPINE VALLEY FIASCO
by Nancy Fish
Sung to "Great Filling Station Holdup"
I pulled into the parking lot
I was feelin' quite at ease
I rolled down my window and asked the man, "Can I park close please?"
Then out jumped his partner with his trusty orange vest
He said, "This is Alpine Valley, you'll park here. Screw your request."
Chorus:
And now I wish I was somewhere other than here
Down in the front few rows, sippin' on a beer
Yes I wish I was somewhere other than here
Cuz the lawn at Alpine Valley
Really did bring me to tears
We got a couple lawn seats and binoculars to see
Way up above the stage I saw the parrotvision tv
Feelin' we were in for the biggest fun of the whole year
We're at the Buffett show, we'll dance to and fro
But first let's have a beer
Chorus:
And now I wish I was somewhere other than here
Down in the front few rows, sippin' on a beer
Yes I wish I was somewhere other than here
Cuz the lawn at Alpine Valley
Really did bring me to tears
We're standin' on the lawn
The stage we just can't see
I ran off to the restroom cuz
I really had to pee
The place was packed, the johns were stacked
It took just way too long
I spent 40 minutes in that line and damn I missed 4 songs.
Chorus:
And now I wish I was somewhere other than here
Down in the front few rows, sippin' on a beer
Yes I wish I was somewhere other than here
Cuz the lawn at Alpine Valley
Really did bring me to tears
Dancin' to the music,
Swaying here and there
All of the sudden the sounds blows out,
Giving us a scare
We made it through the rest of the show
The sound never really came around
Jim painted the sky, shot fireworks high, then headed out of town
Chorus:
And now I wish I was somewhere other than here
Down in the front few rows, sippin' on a beer
Yes I wish I was somewhere other than here
Cuz the lawn at Alpine Valley
Really did bring me to tears.
Coda:
Yes the lawn at Alpine Valley
Really did bring me to tears
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
PUPPIES IN THE PALACE
(with apologies)
by Bill McGreevy
Sung to "Gypsies In The Palace"
Spoken:
"In days of old, when dogs were bold
And journeyed from their castles
Trusty pups were left behind
Hounds needed not the hassles
They helped themselves to kibble and bone
And drank from Dog's own chalice
Oh, it was a stirring sight
These puppies in the palace"
"And some things never change. Hit it!"
So long Dog, knock 'em dead, don't you worry 'bout a thing
You & the missus just run along, hum a song 'bout a tire swing
The car is here, your bones are packed, the list is standing by
Me & the others will watch your place, guard it with our lives
Look at all this freedom
We'll eat it up like food
Say any ****in thing we want
We'll be Dennis Rodman rude
We'll slam Bubba and each other, I swear Dog wouldn't mind
Hell we'll even send out death threats, we do it all the time
We're puppies in the palace, he's left us here alone
The Order of the Shameless Sheps will now assume the bone
We ain't got no morals, but we damn sure got a bite
We're puppies in the palace, we got it all tonight
There's damsels in distress out there and we now have all this clout
We'll free 'em from their boring listserves and put 'em on our route
We'll tell 'em we know Bubba
We hang at Shrimp Boat Sound
We'll impress 'em with our parrotshit
Since Big Dog's not around
We're puppies in the palace, there ain't no wrong or right
We're puppies in the palace, a'howlin' loud tonight
He's the greatest guy to run a list, man he keeps it clean
Hey Chris this party's gettin' dull, flame someone, get mean
Let's all take our clothes off & form a cyber conga line
Watch out for that signoff crap, hey Newbie we need more whine
We're puppies in the palace, there ain't no wrong or right
We're puppies in the palace, a'howlin' loud tonight
Hi there dog, what's goin' on
You say you're coming WHEN?
We'll keep a look out for you, tomorrow night at ten, OKAY!
Everybody listen up, beat those flames back down
We gotta clean our act up, he's comin' back to town
Hi there Dog we're glad you're back, we just chatted and praised the boss
When you're gone there's nothin' to talk about your trip was sure our loss
Yeah, it's still real peaceful here, I guess we've said it all
And if you ever leave again, just give us a call
We're puppies in the palace, he's left us here alone
The Order of the Shameless Sheps will now assume the bone
We ain't got no morals, but we damn sure got a bite
We're puppies in the palace, we got it all tonight.
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
MERGEREETEFILLE-
A What if the Swedish chef from the Muppet show were to sing "Margaritaville"?
(this file changed using the Encheferizer program)
by Bubba the Salty Dog
Neebblin' oon spunge-a ceke-a,
Vetcheen' zee soon beke-a
Ell ooff thuse-a tuooreests cufered in ooeel
Stroommeen' my seex streeng
Oon zee frunt purch sveeng
Smell thuse-a shreemp, zeey're-a begeenning tu bueel.
Vesteen' evey egeeen in Mergereetefille-a
Seercheen' fur my lust sheker ooff selt
Sume-a peuple-a cleeem thet zeere's a vumun tu bleme-a
Boot I knoo it's nubudy's foolt.
Dun't knoo zee reesun
I steyed here-a ell seesun
Nutheen' tu shoo boot thees brund noo tettuu
Boot it's a reel beooty, a Mexeecun cooteee-a,
Hoo it gut here-a I hefen't a clooe-a.
Vesteen' evey egeeen in Mergereetefille-a
Seercheen' fur my lust sheker ooff selt
Sume-a peuple-a cleeem thet zeere's a vumun tu bleme-a
Noo I theenk hell it cuoold be-a my foolt.
Bloo oooot my fleep flup, stepped oon a pup tup
Coot my heel hed tu crooeese-a oon beck hume-a
Boot zeere's buuze-a in zee blender, suun it veell render
Thet fruzee cuncucshun thet helps me-a hung oon.
Vesteen' evey egeeen in Mergereetefille-a
Seercheen' fur my lust sheker ooff selt
Sume-a peuple-a cleeem thet zeere's a vumun tu bleme-a
Boot I knoo it's my oovn demn foolt.
Yes, und sume-a peuple-a cleeem thet zeere's a vumun tu bleme-a
Boot I knoo it's my oovn demn foolt!
Bork Bork Bork!
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
WEBVILLE
(w/apologies to JB)
by Bill McGreevy
Sung to "Margaritaville"
Nibblin' on rum cake
Watchin' the snowflakes
Gather on pine trees in the back yard
E-mail is beepin'
Chris Wilson's preachin'
Rkel2y's temper's beginnin' to boil
Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Webville
Searchin' for my lost signoff notes
Some people claim that there's a glitch to blame
But I know it's nobody's fault
I don't know the reason
The mail keep's a beepin'
Nothin' to read but a phlamer or two
But, it's full of humor
Hey there's a rumor
New tour dates in a day or two
Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Webville
Searchin' for my lost signoff notes
Some people claim that there's a glitch to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault
Pulled out all stops
Said Jimmy Dream's tops
Some agreed most said pooh pooh
But there's booze in the blender
And I ain't no defender
I still like it, to hell with you
Wastin' away again in Webville
Searchin' for my lost signoff notes
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
OFF TO USE THE WHIZZER
(With many apologies to Jimmy Buffett/Jay Oliver)
by Kevin Axt (1996)
Sung to "Off To See The Lizard"
I was tempted by a message that came out from the List
It told of this party up in the north and it sounded like a blast
There'd be beer and entertainment from a mystery guest
We'd party till the sun came up and maybe dance out in the rain
RACA, RACA, RACA till we drop
I got real excited 'bout this party that the List had told
I worked a lot of overtime so that I could go
I jumped into the Goose and taxied out into the bay
Headed up to RACAfest to play pirate for a day
Chorus:
Off to use the whizzer
Off to use the whizzer
I got, I got my Depends
I don't even have to move
I got, I got my Depends
What works for me might work for you
Bein' up at RACA seems to have its ups and downs
That's the price you pay for being ParrotHeads and clowns
Paulie's halitosis it be vaporizing bars
Elvis up in Cincy or maybe barfing out in the cars
RACA, RACA, RACA till I drop
But being at this fest ain't what it appears
Sooner or later it catches up with even me
I heard it from the SaltyDog headed over to the tree
I felt it in my bladder, man I gotta go pee!
Chorus:
Off to use the whizzer
Off to use the whizzer
I got, I got my Depends
I don't even have to move
I got, I got my Depends
What works for me might work for you
Does it work for me?
Oh Yeah
Will it work for you?
Oh Yeah
If you use it right
Oh Yeah
It won't leak thru
I got problems wif my drain underneath my shorts
I'm having trouble holding it I hope that I don't burst
I sat down next to Big Dog and he made me drink that beer
If you think that is a fib you should see the yellow in my eyes
Rising, Rising, Rising like the tide
BD turned off the spigot the RACAers have to go home
Feel its time to travel I hope I'm not too stoned
Time to recuperate from RACA '96
But first where is the restroom I'm dancing up and down
Chorus:
Off to use the whizzer
Off to use the whizzer
I got, I got my Depends
I don't even have to move
I got, I got my Depends
What works for me might work for you
I got, I got my Depends
I don't even have to move
I got, I got my Depends
It worked for me next year I'll bring some for you
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
THEY DON'T PLAY LIKE MARVIN NO MORE
by D. Kirk Lockhart
Sung to "They Don't Dance Like Carmen No More"
Harmonica music, acoustic guitar
Crazy man singin' 'bout life in the bar
Now he's just an old man, he'd probably get sore
But he don't play like Marvin no more
Marvin and Jimmy, my what a pair
Writin' the lyrics that no one else dared
Singin' and drinkin' even though they were poor....
But he don't play like Marvin no more
He had a big stash, he'd get so high
Eat nachos and tacos till he thought he might die
How he survived it, I wouldn't dare...
But they don't play like Marvin nowhere
But Marvin's not with us, he died long ago
And Jimmy won't do his songs in any of his shows
'Cause the shows wouldn't sell out, and Jimmy'd be poor...
But he won't play like Marvin no more
Marvin and Jimmy, my what a pair
Just writin' the lyrics that no one else dared
Singin' and drinkin' even though they were poor...
But he don't play like Marvin no more
No more, no more
He's just an old man, he'd probably get sore....
But he don't play like Marvin no more
Fifty bucks a show, hell no I won't go...
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
WHO'S THE BLONDE STRANGER
(an imagined GOP's viewpoint)
by Kevin Axt (1997)
I read on the emial I got from the Listserv
That Buffett was touring again this summer
Saved up some extra money to go to the concert
Oh please Mr. Jimmy, don't do the same set again
I tell myself he'll play some new songs
I reason he's tired of doing the same old songs
I'm still a number one fan
Maybe this year he'll play 'Tin Cup Chalice'
Who's the Blonde Stranger
Chorus:
Who's the blonde stranger, up there on the stage
I paid too much money, and think I got screwed
Hey there Bubba, please play something new
Who's the blonde stranger, where has Jimmy gone
Counting this concert that makes 25 times
Hit some tailgate parties then stood in a line
Got to the right row wasn't looking when I sat down
Oh Jesus, someone threw up on my chair
My pants they got all soaked I cursed a blue streak
Don't know what I'll do don't have another pair
Up on the main stage Jimmy's starting to sing
He's doing the same shit he's been doing for years
Chorus:
Who's the blonde stranger, up there on the stage
What is he singing, God not 'Cheeseburger' again
Hey there Bubba, please play something new
Who is this stranger, he won't listen to me
Back at the apartment and I'm still quite POed
Threw on some old Buffett to hear what I miss
I swear this won't happen not one more damn time
I have to quit going Jimmy just doesn't care
Chorus:
Who's the blonde stranger, up there on the stage
I paid too much money, and think I got screwed
Hey there Bubba, please play something new
Who's the blonde stranger, where has Jimmy gone
Chorus:
Who's the blonde stranger, up there on the stage
I paid too much money, and think I got screwed
Hey there Bubba, please play something new
Who is this stranger, he won't listen to me
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
I FEEL LIKE (I'VE JUST BEEN SCREWED)
A Fan's Lament (From A Different Point Of View)
by Nivram Snedrag (1993)
Sung to "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw"
-Ghosted by Toby Gibson
(opening on the live bootleg)
"What's that!?!?
What I can't hear you--
Well excuse me-- but this is my lounge act,
And I pick the songs...
What's that you say!?!?
A news song!
Yo wanna song about the news!?
Oh a new song!
Well here's one from you to me!
Begin with classic C & W rift...
I really don't appreciate what you're singin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But its the same shit year after year
So Jimmy how 'bout it, a new song or two
Jimmy, why don't you sing something new
Chorus:
Why don't you sing something new
I just bought these tickets, fifty bucks on-a one night fling
The parrotheads are restless
Jimmy you can bet that's true
So, why don't you sing something new
-- Spoken: "Damn, just another hyped-up show..."
(swing instrumental)
Chorus:
Why don't you sing something new
I just bought these tickets, fifty bucks on-a one night fling
give a new song from old Marvin
Jimmy go back to your roots
I've feel like I've just been screwed
Yeah, now Jimmy I say, (Lord!)
Why don't you sing something new
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
WHY I DON'T POST TO THE LIST
(With apologies to Jimmy Buffett & Marvin Gardens)
by Kevin Axt (1997)
Sung to "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw"
I really do appreciate the fact the List is here
I can't speak for everyone
I hope that is quite clear
My reasons they are legion, I'll just give one or two
BD, here's why I don't post to the List
Chorus:
Why I don't post to the List
I feel so inferior, I can't match your info [depth & width]
I only have a few of Jimmy's albums
Heck, haven't yet been to a concert
(That's) One reason why I don't post to the List
--Spoken: "Type it Lurkers, nice and slow..."
(computer humming)
Chorus:
Why I don't post to the List
I just get the Digest I can't keep up with even it
I'm behind on my email reading
By the time I'd reply it's just old news
(That's) One reason why I don't post to the List
C'mon fellow lurkers, do you feel this way?
Why I don't post to the List (oh yeah)
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
THIS CAN OF SPAM
(with apologies to Steve Goodman)
by Toby Gibson
Sung to "This Hotel Room"
Oh this can of Spam has gotta a lot of stuff
A square blue can, I can't get enough
12 little ounces without a bone
I eat it every night when I come home
I come home
I come home
I bake it and I eat it when
I come home
It's got this white gooey jelly that looks like snott
I microwave it to make it hot
I serve it in the morning on toasted bread
I'll eat it everyday 'til I drop dead
Dropping dead
Oh dropping dead
Great God Almighty
I'm dropping dead.
It's got ham and pork shoulders inside that can
Its always nice and pink its never tan
Put it in a skillett and watch it fry
Just the thought of that Spam brings a tear to my eye
Watching it fry
Oh watch it fry, babe
That couldn't be meat
It that skillet that fries
Its got a cholesterol level thats really high
If you eat it with eggs you could probably die
Two thin slices on whole wheat bread
With some Miracle-Whip and you're well fed
Put on some onions
Add another slice
That Miracle-Whip make it taste alright
Oh Taste alright
Tastin' alright
Spam with Miracle whip really tastes alright
And this new pull-top is all right with me
I used to cut my fingers on that silly key
This can-o-Spam's gotta lot of stuff
And I do believe I can't get enough
Called my baby said don't you pout
I've got some more Spam if you're running out
You don't have to eat Baloney
I'll bring you can I'll run it by your house just as fast as I can
Can of Spam
Oh can of Spam
You don't have to eat baloney
I've got spiced ham
Whoa spicy ham
It's in a can
Spiced ham in a can
We call it Spam
Return to the Jimmy Buffett Parody section
SONGS YOU KNOW BY HEART
(to the tune of "Why Don't We Get Drunk")
by Kevin Axt 1997
"Sorry, Marvin. This tune gets picked on a lot."
As a son of a son of a sailor
I took off for a weekend last month
Writing my memoirs, losin' my hearing
But I don't care what most people say
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But, come Monday, it'll be all right
Chorus:
Come Monday, it'll be all right
Cheeseburger in paradise, will wash away the night
I don't want food in my pencil thin mustache
Cause I'm the only bait in town
Whenever the volcano blows
-- Spoken: "Dammit Jimmy, play something new!"
(extremely confused instrumental)
Chorus:
Come Monday, it'll be all right
Cheeseburger in paradise, will wash away the night
I don't want food in my pencil thin mustache
Cause I'm the only bait in town
Whenever the volcano blows
So now I gotta fly to Saint Somewhere, (yeah!)
And search for my lost shaker of salt
MEGADOLLARVILLE, TAXES AND JIMMY WITH DREADLOCKS
by Kevin Axt (1997)
Sung to "Vampires, Mummies And The Holy Ghost"
Looked in the mirror and what did I see
Red swollen eyeballs staring back at me
Went down to Jamaica
Just to have a first look
Now I can't remember
Just what happened last night
Got off the plane
And walked on down to the beach
Sat down under a lone palm
And started relaxing
Heard me some reggae
Drifting out of that bar
Went on inside
Just to get me one beer
Chorus
Megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
These are the things that terrify me the most
No rush hour traffic or rude drunk frat boys
Scares me like megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
Had me a lot of fun
Then went with my new friends
Up in those Jamaican hills
They promised me a good time
Listened to a small group playing
Some really good songs
The lead singer said his name was Jimmy but he had dreadlocks
Chorus
Megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
These are the things that terrify me the most
No rush hour traffic or rude drunk frat boys
Scares me like megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
Now I just don't remember
Much about the rest of the night
Seems like there was lots of dancing and drinking
Oh, my head, man does it throb
Oh god, oh god, oh god ... think I might upchuck
Come morning and the sun burned off the fog
Woke up beside a road, I was all by myself
Walked back to the beach and lay down on the sand
Oh I can't get these images out of my head
Chorus
Megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
These are the things that terrify me the most
No rush hour traffic or rude drunk frat boys
Scares me like megadollarville, taxes and Jimmy with dreadlocks
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