GAME NIGHT
PART I
TRAPPED!
DEADEYE
Football, the game loved by many and viewed by even more who are too lazy to get off their own butts and play it themselves. At first I did not really get football at all, what was this first and ten crap? What were downs? What was a field goal? Eventually I got the rules of football and they were great, and I finally realized that football is a great game where YOU GET TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF SOMEONE AND CALL IT SPORTSMANSHIP! YEAH BABY, YEAH!
Deadeye sat on his bean bag chair flipping through the channels and bored half to death.
"golf, golf, golf, golf, golf, golf, more golf, golfmania, golfzilla, morer golf, must be Sunday." He said grudgingly as he got up and walked over to his laptop where he played Diablo multiplayer, after kicking Diablo’s demonic posterior from here to Namek four times he finally gave it a break and sat back down in his bean bag chair and tried to flip through the channels again but the remote would not work. "What the hell?! Wait a minute there are no batteries here! Crap!"
Deadeye teleported over to BEST BUY and got some Ur-a-Cell android batteries put them in the remote.
"Back to channel surfing!" He said enthusiastically
An Hour later
"golf, golf, golf, well that covers all 24 hours today, let’s see what’s on next weekend." Deadeye went ahead on the guide and saw that next Sunday the SUPERBOWL was on, "YESSS!" He started jumping around the room happily until his foot hit the remote and it turned to MTV.
"And today on TRL an unusual thing happened, KoRn took all ten slots again! We’re still trying to figure out what the hell is going on folks!"
Meanwhile
"Well what shall we do?" 18 asked as she looked down from the stairs
"I don’t know, this is the second time this week 16 has done this!" 16 had implanted the remote into his android brain so only he could change the channel, last time they had to strap him down and rip it out of his head, this time he had used gundanium alloy to seal himself in the tv room so they could not get him, worse yet he could control the TVs in their rooms also.
"Well figure something out! I’m getting friggin sick of listening to ‘Somebody Someone’ on TRL! I have to watch Toonami! It’s at the part where I kick the crap out of Vegeta!" 18 yelled.
"Yeah I’m not happy about it either! You think I miss watching myself beat up the rest of them?! Hey wait a second, doesn’t Cory have a big screen?" 17 said, they both looked at each other for a moment and disappeared.
Mean while in the TV room
"Yes! Play it again play it again! There’s just 5 more video’s till we find out who gets #1! Isn’t this great?!" 16 shouted as he grabbed Nix and gave her a HUGE bear hug.
"(wheeze!) but.. (cough!) don’t we… (choke!) already know who it is?!" Nix said as she finally got 16 off her, of all the places to be watching DBZ when TRL came on, she’d gotten stuck in there with him, 16 resumed sitting and inch away from the screen looking excitedly at it.
"Hey, can I leave n," "QUIET! TRL GOOD FOR 16! SNACKS! NOW!" Nix(sweatdrop) looked strangely at 16 and started pondering how to get the HELL OUTTA THERE! Suddenly an idea hit, she picked up the bag marked ‘Idea’ which had fallen off the ceiling onto her head and looked in.
"Hey 16 I think Goku is signing his book "Brains versus Brawn; What the Hell are Brains?!" at the local shopping mall.
"What?! Really?!?! YAAAYYYYY!!" 16 grabbed his copy of the book and smashed through the non gundanium covered wall and went flying off leaving Nix her freedom, she walked out leaving the reverse-o-programmer behind.
The house of insanity (Duo’s place in short)
Duo hung up the phone and picked up his TV guide and checked out ABC, yup, next Sunday, he put it down and called the others. He dialed Heero first.
"what is it?" Heero said in typical monotonous voice.
"Yeah, it’s Duo, Superbowl comes on next Sunday!" Duo said happily.
"oh sure, hit me with voice tone changes, what the hell is the super bowl?" Heero asked
"Well it’s where the two champion football teams meet to decide who is best of them all!"
"damn I wish my mom hadn’t married ben stein, what the hell is football?"
"Well, it has lots of injuries!"
"really? I’m there." Heero said flatly and hung up. Duo dialed Wufei next.
"WHAT IS IT?! CAN’T YOU SEE I AM BUSY REPAIRING NATAKU!!!!!!!!!" Wufei’s voice boomed through the telephone, sweeping Duo’s hair back.
"umm, yeah it’s me, did you know the Super Bowl is coming on next week? Will you come." Duo asked, rather timidly.
"OK I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS BUT I WILL SAY YES SO YOU CAN GET OUT OF HERE AND LET ME FINISH REPAIRING NATAKU!" Wufei slammed the receiver on the hook and went back to trying to repair the scratch on Altron he had discovered with a microscope. After waiting a while for his hearing to come back Duo dialed Quatre.
"Hello?"
"Yeah hi Quatre, it’s me, did you know the Super Bowl comes on next Sunday?"
"It does?! Oh boy I’ll bring my spoon! Seeya!" Quatre said excitedly and hung up, Duo was left to wonder what the hell that meant, he gave up trying and dialed Trowa.
"What is it? ACK GET THAT LION OFF ME!!! HELP!!!" Trowa yelled.
"Er, maybe I called at a bad time." Said Duo with a large anime sweatdrop on his head.
"No, what did you call about? I SAID GET THIS LION OFF ME!!! HELP SOMEONE!!!" "Stay still Trowa!" Duo heard Cathy’s voice in the back ground and the sounds of a yelling lion.
"Well, umm, the super bowl is on next week on Sunday, you wanna come?"
"Sure, ow, careful with those bandages! Seeya Duo!" Trowa hung up. Duo sighed as he fell on the couch, glad the ordeal of calling all of them had ended, finally he could rest...
"DUO! THE RATS ARE USING THE COMPUTER DESK AS A BROADWAY STAGE AGAIN!" Hilde yelled from upstairs.
"Dammit! I’m gonna kill that exterminator! Life time guarantee my ass!" Duo stormed up stairs with a baseball bat.
The House of even more insanity (My place in short)
"Give the remote back Juu!" Deadeye yelled as he tried to get it back as he wrestled 17 to the ground.
"No way! We can’t miss this episode of DBZ! Ow!" Deadeye had 17 in a sleeper hold. He broke free and slammed him into the wall.
"DAMMIT! YOU’RE PAYING FOR THAT WALL!" Deadeye yelled, he went Super Saiyan and tackled 17 then threw him out a window. Mean while 18 had gotten the remote and was now watching Dragon Ball Z, being quite entertained at watching herself beat the crap out of Vegeta.
"BRING IT ON SAYAJIN! I CAN WOOP YO ASS ANYDAY!" 17 said as he powered up an energy blast, Deadeye powered up a ki blast and they were both just about to shoot when, "Would you two keep it down! This is my favorite part!" 18 yelled, she fell over laughing after she watched herself brake Vegeta’s arm, Deadeye and 17 fell over anime style.
At the Kame House
"Damn you Kakarot! Best 51 out of 101!" Vegeta yelled, Goku had beaten him again.
"Aw c’mon Vegeta! I’ve beaten you 42 times!" Goku said, he was getting tired of this.
"WELL NO MORE! YOU’RE GOIN DOWN KAKAROT!" They both went Super Saiyan and started……thumb wrestling. (Someone falls over anime style, I don’t who but someone.)
"ARGH!" Vegeta yelled as he lost again.
"I’m goin to go have dinner now." Goku said as he walked into the kitchen where everyone else was eating.
"DAMMIT GOKU EAT SLOWER YOUR GOING TO CHOKE ON SOMETHING!" Chi Chi yelled.
"But honey I’m hungry! 43 matches of thumb wrestling really drained my power!" Goku said rather timidly.
"I DON’T CARE! AND BESIDES YOU GROSSING OUT OUR GUESTS!"
"Actually I don’t really mi," "SHUTUP!" "yes ma’m." Krillin backed off. Meanwhile Vegeta was in a Capsule Corp space pod thumb wrestling with a robotic arm under 400 times gravity.
"I’ll show that Kakarot! I will be the most powerful thumb wrestling Super Saiyan in the universe!"
Back at Deadeye’s place
"Hey, where the hell is 16 anyway?" Deadeye asked as he was sitting in his bean bag chair watching Midnight Run, 18 wanted to see the fight over again.
"Well he pulled the TRL stunt again and sealed himself in the TV room with gundanium alloy." 17 said, the phone rang and 18 picked it up.
"Hello?" She said.
"YYEEEESSS! KoRn WON NUMBER ONE ON TRL! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!" 16 screamed, the immense wave of sound blew back 18’s hair.
"Dammit 16! If you ever pull a stunt like this again I will throw out all your KoRn CDs!" threatened 18, then slammed the receiver on the hook and sat back down. There was a knock on the door. Deadeye got up to answer it as DBZ came on. It was the G-boyz.
"What the hell are you all doing here?! It isn’t till next Sunday!" Deadeye yelled.
"Yeah well, a bunch of stuff happened again. Like THE EXTERMINATOR CHARGIN $150 FOR A CRAPPY JOB!" Duo replied, Deadeye stood there with a anime sweatdrop on his head.
"Yeah well the power is out at my house and they say it will take a week to fix. THEY BETTER NOT TOUCH NATAKU!" Wufei said.
"relena found out where I lived and started bombarding me with letters and surprise visits." Said Heero.
"My mansion is being recarpeted." Said Quatre, "and besides the BIG SCREEN tv in my house broke."
"Well the lion had to be put down cus it was on a homicidal rampage and the boss is looking for another one." Trowa said. Deadeye stood and thought for a while.
"Well I guess you can all sleep in the living room, but if Duo or Quatre wakes me up I’m gonna have to get Super Saiyan on their asses!" He said glaring down Duo and Quatre. Nix flew over head and landed behind them, 17 got up to meet her.
"Konnichiwa Nixxie-chan! How the hell did you get away from 16?"
"Well I kinda reversed his programming but it might not la…" suddenly a large explosion came from several blocks away.
"NO ONE IS GONNA TAKE MY CDS! NO ONE! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" came 16’s yell. Deadeye flew off to investigate, 17 glared at 18.
"What?!" she said, then went back to watching DBZ while she smacked the crap out of Vegeta again. Deadeye flew back in a few minutes later.
"Well he is ripping down the house and making a barricade, lemme guess, you wanna stay here too?"
"uh, I guess that would be good." 17 said with the usual embarrassment pose (hand on the back of his head for those stupid enough to come here without knowing in the first place.)
At…somewhere…
Piccolo was sitting on a rock staring at Dragonett who was sitting opposite him, they were having a titanic staring contest that had entered it’s 7th hour. (ooooh! Aaaaahh!)
"Dammit Dragonett you have got to blink some time!" said Piccolo as he desperately tried to keep his eyes open.
"Try me!" She replied casually.
"Ok I will then Na-o-mi!"
"WHAT?!"
"HA! YOU BLINKED!"
"WHAT?! ARGH!" Dragonett then slammed Piccolo to the ground and started……tickling him (someone falls over anime style again.)
"No! Wait! Hehehaha! Stop it!" Piccolo begged.
"WHO won?" Dragonett asked.
"Me! Oohahahahehe! Stop it please!"
"WHO WON?!"
"OK OK YOU WON!" Dragonett finally let him up.
At the Kame House
"I WILL BEAT YOU KAKAROT! NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!" Vegeta yelled as he powered up and started thumb wrestling with the mechanical android hand once again, the power was intense and started breaking apart the capsule until
"KABLOOIE!"
The explosion totaled the pod and destroyed the Kame House, Master Roshi dropped his latest issue of penthouse and stared over at Vegeta who had lost to the arm.
"No!" Master Roshi screamed as he jumped out of his chair and ran over to where the closet used to be, he let out a sigh of relief as he saw his ‘magazine’ (need I say more?) collection was still intact.
"DAMMIT GOKU THE HOUSE BLEW UP CAN YOU STOP EATING FOR ONCE?!" Chi Chi yelled, Goku was still shoveling rice into his mouth.
"But (gulp) honey (chew) I’m almost (gulp) done!" Goku said between bites.
"GEEZE! THAT’S THE ENTIRE POT OF RICE! YOU’VE HAD TEN SERVINGS OF TERIYAKI SALMON! MASTER ROSHI HAS NO FOOD LEFT DAMMIT!" Goku finished off the last mouthful and stood up.
"Well it was great coming over for dinner Master Roshi, bye!" Goku said as he flew off with Chi Chi in tow.
"WAAAAAIIIIT! KAKAROT! I’M STRONGER NOW! I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU SO COME BACK DOWN HERE YOU WIMP! HA! SO YOU ARE AFRAID OF MY POWER AFTER ALL! THAT MAKES SENSE CONSIDERING I DID AFTER ALL DEFEAT THE ANDROIDS SINGLE HANDEDLY ON THE FIRST TRY!" Vegeta yelled at the dot on the horizon that was Goku. Krillingot out from the wreckage and wiped some dust off his chrome dome.
"Well actually Vegeta that’s not exactly how," "SHUTUP BALDY!" "yes sir" Krillen sat down and thought for a bit, now where the hell were they gonna stay?
"Wait a minute! Doesn’t that Deadeye kid have the playboy channel?" Master Roshi said with anticipation.
"Well no," "LETS GO!" Master Roshi grabbed Krillin before he could say anything and hopped on Vegeta’s back.
"HEY! Get off my back old man!"
"Lets get goin!"
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN ORDER ME AROUND?!" Vegeta said, on the verge of going super saiyan.
"If you don’t I’ll make you watch 18 beat the crap out of you again!"
"WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BURN THOSE TAPES!!!" Vegeta yelled, Maser Roshi just smirked and Vegeta finally took off after letting out a sigh of defeat.
At Goku’s house.
"GOKU! FLY SLOWER! IT WAS FREAKIN COLD UP THERE! WE COULD’VE CAUGHT A COLD!" Chi Chi yelled as Goku landed and put her down.
"What the hell is that?!" Goku said as he pointed over to the house.
"Great, first my husband eats the equivalent of the intake of the entire nation of Russia and NOW A F&%$ING METEORITE LANDS ON MY HOUSE!" Gohan walked over from the other side of the wreckage.
"Hi mom! Hi Daddy! Cool Meteorite huh? I was just playing Endless Duel when," "WHAT?!?! YOU WEREN’T STUDYING TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN?!?! THAT’S IT! THIRTEEN MORE YEARS OF HOMEWORK!" Chi Chi interrupted.
"But mom I know advanced algebra and math, every aspect of the english language and several others, I know which came first the chicken or the egg, I know how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood, EVERY book ever written, AND I AM NOT EVEN IN HIGHSCHOOL YET! GEEZE!" Gohan said, Chi Chi just gave him ‘THE LOOK’ (BUM Bum bum!) and he was defeated.
"Um, honey, where are we going to stay?" Goku said.
"NOT NOW GOKU I AM BUSY BEING AN OVERBEARING HOMEWORK MONGER!" Chi Chi said.
"But I’m cold, and hungry." Goku said.
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?! YOU’RE STILL HUNGRY AFTER ALL THAT GOD DAMN FOOD!" The argument continued.
Back at my place, this only gets worse, trust me.
The doorbell rang and Deadeye went to answer it as everyone was crowded around the TV watching Scooby Doo.
"Who is it now ACK!" Deadeye yelled as he plowed over by Master Roshi who then wrestled 17 to the ground and got the remote then rapidly started changing channels.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" They all said at once, the bad guy was about to be unmasked.
"playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel playboychannel" Master Roshi kept on chanting, Deadeye rolled his eyes.
"DAMMIT ROSHI I DON’T GET THE DAMN PLAYBOY CHANNEL!" The happiness drained from Master Roshi’s face.
"Damn." He said promptly, "well at least I got these!" Master Roshi got up and got some Pent house magazines he’d tied to the saddle he had on Vegeta and put a feed sack on his face. Vegeta went SSJ 2.
"THAT’S IT ROSHI! YO PERVERTED ASS IS GOIN DOWN!" He yelled as he powered up a ki blast.
"WAIT A MINUTE VEGETA!" Deadeye yelled, Vegeta stopped.
"what is it?" Vegeta sneered
"First of all MY HOUSE IS SCREWED UP ENOUGH! Secondly I don’t want you to kill Master Roshi." Deadeye replied.
"I’ll only back down if you KILL ME!" Vegeta said, powering up even more.
"That could be arranged, as long it’s OUTSIDE!" Deadeye retorted and pointed to the door. Vegeta didn’t move, and in 1 tenth of a second Deadeye had opened the door with his telekenisis and gave Vegeta a uppercut which sent him flying through the door and through the fences of the houses on a distance of 20 blocks.
"Lets see, that sux, rerun, God not TRL, boring." 18 said as she cycled through the channels.
"Anyone wanna watch South Park?" Deadeye suggested, they were watching it in seconds. A few minutes later the door bell rang AGAIN.
"DAMMIT WHO’S THERE! THIS IS NOT A FREAKIN HOTEL!!!!!!!!!"
They all stared at him, Deadeye got a big anime sweatdrop on his head.
"Umm, I’ll just, answer, that." Deadeye said as he pulled the door open.
"WHERE’S YOUR FOOD?! I WANNA EEEEAAATTT!!!" Goku yelled, Deadeye was thrown against the wall.
"DAMMIT GOKU! THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR HOST! I’m sorry for my husband being a total FREAK but our house was crushed by a meteor, could we stay here a few days?" Chi Chi asked politely. Deadeye went wide eyed anime style for a few seconds and then fell over anime style.
An hour later.
Deadeye woke up on the floor to the rest laughing at Saturday Night Live, lets see, now the line up was him, 17, 18, 16, Quatre, Heero, Wufei, Duo, Trowa, Krillin, Vegeta(With a big bruise on his chin), Master Roshi, Goku, Gohan, and the wife from hell.
"Oh, hey Deadeye, we were just watching TV and Duo told me about the superbowl. So I’m gonna contact Piccolo and have him come over."
Goku said, once again Deadeye fell over anime style.
Somewhere……somewhere.
Dragonett and Piccolo were seated at opposite ends of a rock armwrestling.
"I GOTTA BEAT YOU AT SOMETHING DRAGONETT!" Piccolo said as he tried with all his might to keep his arm up.
"BRING IT ON!" Dragonett replied as she too tried to keep her arm up, just then outta nowwhere.
"HI PICCOLO!" Goku’s voice said in Piccolo’s mind, the distraction caused Piccolo to get slammed into the rock making an imprint of the back of his hand in it.
"GOKU!!! YOU MADE ME LOSE TO DRAGONETT AGAIN!"
"oh, sorry, anyway Deadeye has a big screen TV and the superbowl is coming on next Sunday so you wanna come over or what?"
"Super bowl?! RIGHT ON!" Piccol flew up into the air leaving Dragonett in his dust.
"HEY WAIT FOR ME!" Dragonett said as she powered up and took off after him.
Back at the insane asylum (my place, did u guess?)
17 was still flipping through the channels looking for something of interest while the others just stared at him.
"17! We took a vote and we all wanna watch Whose Line is it Anyway! Now give us the remote!" Nix said as she made a swipe at the remote but missed.
"Look, I’ve got the remote and I decide what we watch ok?" 17 said, and then gave them all an anime rasberry.
"OH MY LORD IT’S HORRIBLE!" Deadeye said as he was looking out the window, 17 looked over.
"What is it?" He asked.
"It’s this green spotted thing with a beak, it just stuck its tail in someone and absorbed them!" Deadeye said looking rather worried.
"OH NO IT’S CELL!" 17 screamed, he dropped the remote, ran into the bedroom and hid under the bed.
"sucker." Deadeye whispered to himself as Nix picked up the remote and switched it to Comedy Central. Piccolo came bargin in the door right then and threw Duo out of his seat and sat down, Dragonett walked in next.
"hmm, nice place, where’s Cory anyway?" Dragonett said as she looked around.
"I would appreciate it if you stepped off my right kidney." Came Deadeye’s small voice from under the door which had been knocked down, he’d been standing right in front of it when Piccolo had come in, Vegeta started rolling on the floor laughing.
"umm, could someone get a first aid kit, I think Duo has a concussion." Quatre said.
"What makes you think that?" Troaw asked.
"No no Wufei your not mean or anything, you’re an overall great person! No don’t get up I’ll get you your rootbeer!" Duo said, staggering toward the fridge with a large anime bump on his head.
"oh" Trowa said.
"He looks fine to me." Wufei said as he opened his root beer.
At about 12 PM
Deadeye layed in bed TRYING to get some sleep, but the rest of them were playing a free for all game on Perfect Dark and making a lot of noise over it, particularly Piccolo and Vegeta who both kept losing to Goku and Dragonett.
"THAT’S IT GOHAN! BEDTIME! NOW!" I don’t even need to tell you who said that.
"Aw c’mon mom! It’s mine and 18 17 and 16’s turn on the N64 next!" Gohan replied timidly. A period of silence ensued followed by Gohan’s footsteps to the couch.
"Musta used ‘THE LOOK’ (BUM Bum bum dramatic reverb!)" Deadeye whispered to himself as he finally fell asleep.
Well this is a fix folks, A HELLUVA lotta guests and I have to put up with it for a week, will I make it, or will I be thrown into the massive insanity which is beyond even the RFC? Find out in the next episode of ‘GAME NIGHT’
The Week of Hell