Game Night - Part Three: The Night of the Game

GAME BOY…er…I mean

GAME NIGHT!

Part 3

The Night of the Game

Game

(damn that took a while!)

(note: in no way associated with the title ‘GAME NIGHT’ which is totally ridiculous since it is a part of the story but my ASSHOLE LAWYERS MADE ME CHANGE IT! Thankyou and enjoy…………………….WELL START ENJOYING IT DAMMIT!)

Deadeye woke up to complete darkness, he reched for the lamp beside his bed and switched it on, still darkness.

"Damn lightbulb, wait a second I just changed it yesterday! OH MY GOD I’M BLIND! NOOO!" Deadeye then heard someone snickering by his bed, and after peeling the electric tape off his eyes he grabbed Duo and lifted him up off his feet by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey put me down! It was just a joke! What’s a joke among…er…friends?…hehe…" Duo said with a fake smile and a large anime sweatdrop on his forehead. He went flying out the window at 30 mph seconds after.

"Lets see, what day is it in hell…" Deadeye said cynically. He took a look at his calender.

"……….0_0……….YES!!! IT’S SUNDAY! WOOHOO!!" he started jumping around the room and then looked in the mirror, a large black stripe was over his eyes where the electrical tape had been. Duo was just getting up to his feet rubbing the large bump on his head when Deadeye came flying out the window straight at him.

"AAAAAAAHHH!!!"

Later that morning everyone but Goku was eating on the roof, the food had run low and he had had to have "normal" rations, and he kept on asking everyone "Are you gonna eat that?" the response he got was "I AM EATING IT RIGHT NOW SO TAKE A WILD GUESS!" most of the time.

"So that means you don’t want it?! THANKS! (gulp)" Vegeta had lost his breakfast in this way. Duo was not eating along with the rest of them though, he was tied to the TV antenna (Deadeye was hoping a lightning storm would come along).

"So what time does the superbowl start?" Quatre asked.

"Well, I think a little after noon." Deadeye replied, "lemme check." He stuck out his hand and a few seconds later the Direct TV……THE GUIDE! Book came flying out the door and up into Deadeye’s hand. HE flipped through the pages to Sunday. "Yup, comes on at 1 o’ clock."

"Oh good, perfect time for a dessert!" Quatre said and then resumed eating his scrambled eggs and toast, Deadeye was about to ask what he meant by that but then decided against it at the last minute. A little while later a green spotted humanish bipedal organism came walking down the street. It had a beak and a tail with a sharp point at the end……wait a second that’s Cell in his first form!

"CELL?! AH!!!" 17 screamed as he broke a hole in the roof, dove in, and hid under the bed.

"oh great, now I am gonna have to pay for the roof to be repaired, of course that will be an easy task because I have the $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,0_0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 I blackmailed out of Quatre." Deadeye said with a big grin on his face.

"Wait a second, that’s more than you asked for in the last chapter!" Quatre said.

"Yeah but you haven’t payed me yet! ^_^" Deadeye replied, Quatre sighed and hung his head in shame.

"hmm, should I tell him we ALL know he wears footie pajamas? Nah!" Wufei thought.

"Hey, I’ve got a problem here, I don’t have a TV and no one will let me in their house to see so I can’t see the superbowl, could you let me see it on your TV………AAAAAAAHHH IT’S GOHAN!" Cell shrieked, then dove in the hole in the wall, and hid under the bed.

"Oh thankgod I’m safe from that sayjin." Cell thought.

"Oh thankgod I’m safe from that android." 17 thought, then they both turned their heads.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

"Just shoot me…" 18 said shaking her head, she looked up to find Heero’s gun at her head. "It’s just a phrase you nimrod!" 18 retorted.

"But I haven’t shot anyone in a while." Heero said monotonously.

"What’s with your voice?" 18 asked.

"I have Ben Stein syndrom, it only affects one fifth of all gundam pilots." Heero replied.

"Oh well, sucks to be you!" 18 said and shrugged her shoulders. Krillin walked up to her.

"hey um, 18, I’ve kinda got money to go to a restaurant so would be interested in," "no" 18 interrupted abruptly, "then how abo," "no" "what about," "no" "even," "no" "dammit" Krillin slumped his shoulders and walked back to his spot by Goku.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE F*** UP!!!" 18 yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

"AAAAAAMMFFF(slurp)"

"happy!?" came Cell’s voice from the bedroom.

"very." 18 replied, Cell came out of the bedroom through the hole in the roof in his second form and sat down, Deadeye gave him a weird look.

"What?" Cell asked.

"Do you know how stupid you look in your second form?"

"WHAT?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME!" Cell yelled and started to power up, Deadeye zanzokened in front of him and hit him really hard in the stomach.

"OWWWW!!! THAT HURT!! NOW YOU D URP!" Cell said and covered his mouth.

"Anyone who is squeemish should look away now." Deadeye said calmly. "hehe, ‘now you durp!’ lol" he muttered to himself.

"urp…HARF!" Cell spewed out 17.

"ooh, bad memories." 18 said cringing. Cell reverted back to his first form.

"Dammit." Cell cursed, and sat back down again.

"Will you all keep it down I am trying to listen to my CD player!" Dragonett said.

"……………WAIT A SECOND I THOUGHT U DIDN’T HAVE ANY BATTERIES!!" Deadeye said suddenly remembering his remote at the beginning of chapter 1. Don’t be stupid! She didn’t take your batteries!

"She didn’t? Than what happened to them?" Deadeye asked with a large question mark over his head. Well, I would give a long explanation of what happened but there is a HUGE explanation with lots of big words coming up later so I think I’ll just say Vegeta took them!

"WHAT?! DON’T YOU THINK YOU’VE HARASSED ME ENOUGH?!" Vegeta said pleadingly, Deadeye then socked him across the jaw.

"I HATE YOU!" Vegeta yelled at me, then suddenly he went completely BALD!

"IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT?!" Vegeta said while he set his jaw back into place. Suddenly a Sailor Moon wig appeared on his head and glued itself down.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! YOU BASTARD!" Vegeta yelled, trying for his life to get the wig off. Quit being such a baby! (stashes a twenty in his pocket and gives Dragonett the thumbs up.)

3 hours later.

Deadeye flew in with another load of groceries about half an hour before the super bowl started.

"musthurrymusthurrymusthurrymusthurry" Deadeye kept on saying as he rapidly zanzokened from the table, to the bag to get a snack, into the kitchen to put it in a bowl, back to the table, then back to the bag. The rest of them watched and started applausing when he was finished. Deadeye wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Well that takes care of Goku’s table." The onlookers, excluding Goku (who was grinning broadly), all fell over anime style.

Half an hour later.

Deadeye had just finished setting up the other table and Goku sat stuffing his face at his table. Nix sat down on the couch, turned on the TV, and set it to ABC.

"Hi there, I’m your host, Trunks Briefs!" Vegeta spat out his beer and stared at the screen.

"HE NEVER TOLD ME HE WAS HOSTING THE SUPER BOWL! AND I THOUGHT HIS NAME WAS GOING TO BE TRUNKS VEGETA NOT TRUNKS BRIEFS! DAMN THAT WOMAN!" after receiving a severe "SSSSSHHHHH!" from everyone Vegeta plopped back down in his seat.

"And here with me is my co-host, er, Brolli!" The camera panned over to see Brolli swallow his script and then start taking bites out of the desk.

"hey bozo we’re on the air!" Trunks whispered to Brolli, who turned to the camera.

"Is camera on?" Brolli asked after spitting out a part of the desk.

"yeah." Trunks replied.

"Er, Me is Brolli, Brolli wants to kill Goku but he couldn’t because Brolli been stopped a lot, and Brolli recently got apartment, but needs money to pay rent, took job as reporter." Brolli said looking unusually polite like.

"hey, I just got word we gotta split to the game in thirty seconds." Said a random camera operator guy.

"GRRR!!! NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!" Brolli yelled and jumped from his seat and devoured the not random enough camera operator guy, Trunks was banging his head on the desk with frustration at his co-host, and then relized the other camera was on him.

"er, GET THE TRANQUILIZER DARTS! And now we go to the game. ^_^()" Trunks said promptly, it split to the pre game shows.

An hour later…

"WILL THEY START THE GODDAMN GAME ALREADY!" Vegeta yelled, getting ready to hit the TV with a final flash. After the 30^th performer walked off stage they started moving the portable stage off.

"And now our final performer of the night, KoRn!" said the announcer. 17 and 18 eye’s went wide as dinner plates.

"WHAT?! KoRn?! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!" 16 said as he jumped from his seat and sat an inch from the screen while KoRn played ‘Somebody Someone’. "WE SHOULD BE RECORDING THIS!!! WHERE’S THE VCR!!!" 16 said as he jumped around frantically looking for a blank tape and the VCR, thouroughly thrashing around objects near him.

"CALM DOWN 16!!!" 18 yelled, Deadeye, Nix, and Dragonett all zanzokened to 16 and grabbed him.

"Don’t let him hurt my TV!" Deadeye yelled as he tried to hold on to 16’s arms like his life depended on it. Dragonett was on his shoulders and had him in a headlock and Nix was holding onto his legs.

"MUST…RECORD…KoRn……" 16 said as he slowly moved to the TV, but then KoRn finished playing and 16 suddenly went all serious again, perlexed, all three of them let go. 16 returned to his seat.

"umm…ookay then." Nix said, then sat back down in her bean bag chair.

"riiiight……" Dragonett took one last look at 16 who had returned to boring state and sat down again. Finally the game started.

"And we start todays game, the teams for this year’s game is the Satan City Crushers vs. the Green Bay Packers. And included on the Satan City’s team is our hero and yours, Hercule!" the man mentioned walked on stage.

"WITH THE MIGHT OF HE…WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT MY NAME WAS MR. SATAN!!! WHO THE HELL CHANGED IT!? HERCULE IS SUCH A STUPID NAME! IT’S SO STEREOTYPLICAL IT MAKES ME WANNA VOMIT! I’M GONNA KI…" suddenly a technical difficulties sign appeared on screen. A few minutes later the speech resumed.

"and with the might of myself, (sigh) Hercule (shudder) WE WILL DESTROY THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!" the croud cheered at such ‘inspirational’ speeches and the game began.(DAMN YOU FUNIMATION!)

"So when is it gonna start?!" Quatre said impatiently with a spoon in his hand.

"um, it just did…" Deadeye said giving a weird look at Quatre.

"you…you mean the superbowl isn’t a HUGE bowl of banana split ice cream Sunday we have to eat?" Quatre said on the verge of crying, Deadeye fell over anime style.

"NO!! Who on EARTH gave you that idea?!" Deadeye retorted, Quatre suddenly turned red with anger. Duo started snickering. Quatre went into the kitchen and exchanged his spoon for a large cleaver.

"DUO! I KNOW IT GOES AGAINST MY ENTIRE WIMPY ATTITUDE BUT I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!"

"ACK!" Duo got up and ran with Quatre in hot pursuit. Meanwhile the Packers scored a touch down.

"OH NO! What’d I miss?!" Deadeye said frantically.

"relax nimrod, they’re showing a replay." Dragonett said rolling her eyes. The replay started, Mr. Satan (LAWSUIT FROM FUNIMATION) er, I mean Hercule (LAWSUIT DROPPED) kicked the ball, it went 50 yards, one of Green Bay’s guys caught it and went straight through to score a touchdown. Meanwhile the usual random reporter guy ("NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!" "BROLLI GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!") was interviewing Mr., ah, I mean Hercule.

"So Hercule, what happened in this first play, how did they manage to get past you superior defense and score so early?"

"umm, it’s a trick! Yeah! They greased the shoes of my teammates so they wold slip when they tried to tackle the other team!" Mr. Satan (LAWSUIT FROM FUNIMATION) I DON’T GIVE A CRAP! (start’s charging up a Final Flash) (LAWSUITDROPPEDLAWSUITDROPPED PLEASE DON’T KILL US!!!!) better, Mr. Satan said with a stupid confidence, the Crushers were up to receive the kick, Mr. Satan caught it and was tackled at the 1 yard line. The Packers made an interception and scored another touchdown, AND made the bonus point.

"IT’S A TRICK! THEY GREASED THE HANDS OF MY TEAM AND PUT A MAGNET IN THE BALL AND GOAL POST!!!" Mr. Satan kept insisting.

"Boy this game sucks." Nix said as she munched on some more popcorn.

"I don’t know, watching Hercule coming up with excuses is kinda fun…(stared at by everyone)…AGH!!! FUNIMATION IS GETTING INTO MY HEAD!! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!!!" Dragonett yelled, banging her head against the wall. The rest looked on with big anime sweatdrops on their foreheads.

"WHOA! And the Satan City Crushers suddenly leap to the score board and soar ahead!" Said the reporter. The rest looked at the screen in surprise and saw the score was 100 to 14. "So Mr. Satan," "Wait a minute I thought my name was Hercule cus those motherf******* at Funimation changed it!" Mr. Satan said, wondering which name was OFFICIALLY his own. (Meanwhile he hid the remote to the scoreboard display)

"Well, er, we received note that Funimation was threatened and it turned it back." The reporter replied adjusting his glasses, a broad smile graced Mr. Satans face. He grabbed a microphone from one of the technicians nearby.

"Loyal fans! I have an announcement to make, Hercule is dead, LONG LIVE THE MARTIAL ARTS AND FOOTBALL MASTER OF THE WORLD, MR. SATAN!" The croud whooped and cheered while two little Mr. Satan robots appeared on his shoulder.

"Yes you are the master Mr. Satan! You can topple buildings with a single punch and win football games with a single play!"

"And you beat Cell with only a single glance and he burst into flames! That blonde guy and kid couldn’t even come close to your awesome power and skill!" Mr. Satan grinned even wider.

"Thanks Washu! These things are great!" Mr. Satan said as he gave a $500 bill to Washu.

"No problem, I am after all a genius!" Washu said and waited….and waited…and waited…… "Where the hell ARE those things!?" She yelled as she reached into the back of her shirt and pulled out a note which read:

Dear Washu the Genius who Makes Einstein Look Like a Kindergartener,

We accidently downloaded a trojan and will be out for a few weeks looking for a virus scanner! Seeya!

"WHAT?!?!?!" Washu yelled, then promptly ripped the note apart and disappeared into one of her portals.

"Eh, right…" The reporter said, an anime sweatdrop on his head. (HEY! That rhymes!)

One Quarter Later…

"Hey Goku you wanna beer?" Wufei said from the kitchen.

"Nah, I think I’d rather have a sports drink, it tastes great and it’s good for me too!…(stared at by everyone)…OH NO THEY’VE GOTTEN INTO MY HEAD TOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" He said as he ran outside and started banging his head against the pavement.

"AND IT’S INCREDIBLE FOLKS! THE PACKERS HAVE CAUGHT UP TO THE CRUSHER’S ENORMOUS GAIN IN ONE QUARTER!" The reporter yelled ecstaticaly. The score was now Crushers 100 Packers 149.

"IT’S A TRICK (here it goes), SOME GAS IGNITED IN THE ATMOSPHERE AND CAUSED A VARITABLE CORNACOPIA OF LIGHT SHOWS AND THEN WAS REFLECTED OFF OF THE GAMMA RAYS BOUNCED OFF VENUS BY THE SUN TO CREATE A MULTI-LONGITUDINAL EXTRAPILATION OF THE MENTOSA QUADRIPLUS CAUSING A CHEMICAL CHAIN REACTION WHICH SIGNALED ALIENS FROM PLANET GUTUWATADINGDONG TO COME AND ABDUCT MY PLAYERS AND MADE THEIR HANDS AND FEET UNABLE TO PLAY FOOTBALL AND THEN PLANTED A TRACKING DEVICE OF THE HORIZONTAL FREQUENCY OF POSIEDON IN ATLANTIS TO MAKE THE BALL ABLE TO KEY IN ON THE FREQUENCY MADE BY THE ENDZONE WHEN TRIPLE BYPASS RADIOACTIVE ISYTOPE THERMOGEN HEAT WAVES WERE REFLECTED OFF THE MOON ONTO THE FIELD AND SENT BACK TO THE ALIENS SO THEY COULD TRANSMIT QUARDINETS TO THE TRACKING DEVICE VIA INFRA PURPLE GREEN MEGA HYPOCRYPTICISHTARURPULAPLIN WAVES WHICH COMMANDED THE BALL AND THE PLAYER HOLDING IT TO RUN AT SPEEDS BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION THROUGH USE OF ANTIMATTER THERMONYPTIC IGNITION CARBONATED GREASE AND JETS SLIPPED ONTO THEIR UNIFORMS AND DISGUISED WITH FIBEROPTIC TRANSLUSIFICATIONIFERS AND THAT’S HOW THEY PULLED AHEAD! MEANWHILE MY TEAM WAS CAUGHT IN THE QUAD HEX DOUBLE HYPNOTIC TRANSFER TO MAKE THEM UNABLE TO TACKLE RIGHT!(takes a HUGE breath almost passing out)…WAKE UP!" The reporter, all players on both teams, and the entire stadium audience woke up from their doze. The reporter quickly got to his feet.

"Um, I didn’t catch that Mr. Satan, you said something about being hungry?" The reporter said through a yawn, Mr. Satan fell over anime style and the rest of the gang watching the game over at Deadeye’s house fell down laughing. Meanwhile I dipped my typing fingers in water to prevent them from igniting. (owowowow!)

Three Quarters later…

"AGH! IT’S A TRICK! I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU HOW SINCE IT IS FAR MORE COMPLEX THAN YOUR SIMPLE MIND CAN COMPREHEND (and my fingers still have not cooled down) BUT IT IS! Aw screw this I need a beer!" Mr. Satan yelled as he stormed off the field while the Packers went into celebration over their 100 to 400 victory. Goku had polished off his table of snacks and was cleaning up what the rest missed at the other table. Heero hung up up the phone.

"bad news guys, cartoon network dropped gundam wing." Heero said monotonously, big surprise!

"WHAT?!" The other four gundam pilots yelled.

"But that means we’re out of a job!" Wufei said, "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP NATAKU CLEAN AND IN TOP CONDITION!?"

"Well I guess we’ll all just have to find another job." Quatre said.

"OH YOU CAN TALK!! YOU IN YOUR BIG MANSION WITH ALL YOUR BUTLERS AND CRAP!!" Wufei yelled.

"Actually I’m poor now. Deadeye blackmailed me for everything I had!" Quatre said with a sad sniff. Deadeye smiled BIG with his large bag with a $ sign on it.

"Quatre, did you realize that we ALL know you wear footie pajamas?!" Duo said, finally having enough of Quatre’s stupidity.

"WHAT?! YES!! THAT MEANS I CAN TAKE BACK THE MONEY! WOOHO………CRAP!" Quatre turned around to find that Deadeye and the big bag of money had disappeared. The rest of them started walking out the door onto the driveway.

"You know what, I’ve realized that I cant beat you in any way of strength Dragonett, but I know I can beat you at intelligence, YES I CAN I CAN BEAT YOU YES YES YES I CAN DO THIS!! I think I’ll start practicing advanced algebra, it’s both fun AND educational!" Piccolo said, then looked over at Dragonett who was holding a large drill, "um, what is that for?" Piccolo asked with an anime sweatdrop on his head.

"Hold still and I’ll get that damn Funimation probe out of your head!" Dragonett said.

"ACK! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! IT WAS A JOKE! GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT DRILL! I’M WARNING YOU! AAAAAHHHH!!!" Piccolo screamed as he took off into the air with Dragonett in hot pursuit with the drill.

"Well, I guess we’ll just get an apartment." 17 said, "C’mon, the Milliardo Homecraft apartment complex closes in half an hour." 17 said as he also took off with 18 and 16 behind him.

"Seeya Deadeye!" Nix said and waved, then took off after the androids.

"Thanx for inviting us over! Bye!" Duo said and they all piled into the van and drove off. After cleaning out the rest of his fridge Goku left with Gohan and Chi Chi (pissed off as ever.) Deadeye sat in the house watching TV with his big bag of money pondering what he could buy……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….……………………………………………….were you expecting an answer?

THE END

(CLAIMER: I OWN THE WORLD!…oh wait no I don’t…)

[Back to Fanfics] [Previous]