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HUMOR: WOMEN'S HUMOR: WOMEN'S INSTRUCTION BOOK
"Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes,
and it's our job to stomp on them
and keep them in the dark until they mature
into something you'd want to have dinner with."
---anonymous
WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK
- Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
- Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany.
- Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
- If they put one man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.
- Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
- Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone.
- Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
- A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
- Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
- Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
- The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.
- The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
- If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.
- A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, 'oh alright, I'll stay the night".
- Women sleep with men, who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
- When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar".
- The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to the exalted status of a 'former boyfriend".
- There are two significant influences in a man's life and they are both his mother.
- There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving-they'd be wrong-but you could still use them.
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