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HUMOR: EVERYTHING ELSE: A CAT LOVER KNOWS...
LAW OF CAT
- Law of Cat Inertia:
- A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
- Law of Cat Motion:
- A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
- Law of Cat Magnetism:
- All blue blazers and black sweaters attract
cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
- Law of Cat Thermodynamics:
- Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
- Law of Cat Stretching:
- A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
- Law of Cat Sleeping:
- All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
- Law of Cat Elongation:
- A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
- Law of Cat Acceleration:
- A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
- Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
- Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
- Law of Rug Configuration:
- No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
- Law of Obedience Resistance:
- A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
- First Law of Energy Conservation:
- Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
- Second Law of Energy Conservation:
- Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
- Law of Refrigerator Observation:
- If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
- Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:
- Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
- Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
- A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
- Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:
- All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nano-second.
- Law of Cat Embarrassment:
- A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
- Law of Milk Consumption:
- A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
- Law of Furniture Replacement:
- A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
- Law of Cat Landing:
- A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
- Law of Fluid Displacement:
- A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
- Law of Cat Disinterest:
- A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
- Law of Pill Rejection:
- Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
- Law of Cat Composition:
- A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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