Bailey: " 'Making the team: the ABC of sports'. You gonna play?"
Sam: "No, no, I'm just reading it."
Bailey: "What's to read? You get a ball, a bunch of people and you play."
Sam: "I don't know how to play foot ball."
Bailey: "Well, I mean this is not foot ball, this is touch ball, there is no contact. You never played foot ball?"
Sam: "No."
Bailey: "Look, I'll make you a deal. You'll play, I teach you everything you need to know for a friendly game which is basically chug beer. Deal?"
Sam: "Deal."

Sam: "Bailey! What is this? Here's a line of scrimmage, here's me, now I'm supposed to go around there and..."
Bailey: "You run thirty yards on a fly."
Sam: "Right, well what's a fly?"
Bailey: "I toss the ball, you catch it."
Sam (to a Dictaphone): "He tosses the ball, I catch it - fly. Helps me to remember, be quiet."