Genesis
Ally

Chapter 29

Mercy Hospital. San Diego, CA

Mulder slept. He found himself sleeping at odd times of the day and night, his injury and the pain relief in his system had made staying awake for longer than a few hours at a time an impossible luxury. When he awoke again, he realised that somehow, without his knowledge, night had once again fallen. The lights in his room had been dimmed, a tray with a snack atop it placed by his bed.

He wrinkled his nose at the thought. Food at the moment held little appeal. Besides which, he had much more pressing matters to attend to.

Earlier in the day he had placed a call to Frohike who had ummed and ahhed before finally furnishing him with the information he needed. Mulder had plainly heard the doubt in the little man's voice, but loyalty had finally won over common sense and he had called back ten minutes later with the number.

Scully's room number.

Mulder eased his legs over the side of the bed, wincing as he did so. The wound was still new enough to make moving around difficult but four days of rest had taken the edge off the burning pain and Mulder decided it was at a manageable enough level for him to be able to do this. He was being foolish, though. He was aware of that.

Bed rest meant bed rest. Not gallivanting around the hospital in search of his partner. And as the injury twinged again he knew that in all probability he would pay for this later. But that was okay. It was worth the cost.

Being separated from her like this was unthinkable. He couldn't remember a time recently when he had spent so much time away from her. Especially in light of what they had been through over the last couple of years. He had admitted to himself a long time ago that he loved her. On what level, he was less sure of and he didn't question it often. He just accepted it as a part of who they were.

And knowing she was here somewhere, hurting as much as he was, almost tore him in two. The enforced separation was far more painful than any physical wound and tonight, now, Mulder aimed to alleviate that pain for the both of them.

Without sparing another thought as to the potential consequences, Mulder eased the IV slowly from the back of his hand and gingerly allowed his feet to make contact with the linolium floor beneath him. For just a second his head swam and he stood for a minute, waiting for his vision to clear.

He was amazed how easily it was to slip out of the room unnoticed. Just another patient dressed in the anonymous gown and robe taking a walk along the almost empty corridors. And if any of the medical personnel noticed that he walked with a peculiar shambling gait, hand pressed against his side as a support, no one questioned him on it. They all had better things to do it seemed.

It wasn't difficult to locate Scully's room. Frohike had given him fairly precise instructions which was fortunate for Mulder, if only for the fact that by the time he reached her door, he was just about ready to collapse. The twinging pain he had experienced when he had first got up out of bed had escalated rapidly into white hot agony as he made himself concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Several times along the way, he had had to stop. To lean against the wall for a moment until the world came back into focus and he was able to carry on. He would have liked to have rested in one of the chairs that lined the corridor walls, but had rapidly nixed the idea, realising that should he succumb, he was unlikely to want to get up again.

He stood, indecisive outside the door. Unsure as to whether to knock or to walk right in. The sweat poured off him and he was aware that he had pushed way too hard, perhaps for the first time realising just why he had been confined to his bed. The short trip here had left him exhausted and shaky. A combination of the fatigue and the throbbing pain in his side leaving him feeling nauseous to a point where he was terrified that if he opened his mouth he would throw up. His breathing was shallow but rapid and he was unaware that much of the dizziness he was experiencing was as a direct result of the fact he was now hyperventilating in an effort to temper the pain that washed over him in waves.

But he had got this far and was damned if he was about to give up now. So instead, he curled his fingers around the door's handle and turned it slowly, pushing against it as he did so.

The first thing he saw when he entered the room was an empty bed, it's coverings rumpled and thrown to one side as though it's occupant had recently awoken and decided to vacate it. The second thing he saw was the figure who stood by the window, silhouetted by the blue moonlight that poured through it. Her arms were folded against her chest, her head tilted to one side as she regarded the stars thoughtfully.

<Scully>

She looked so much smaller than he remembered. The fact that her feet were bare against the tiled floor took inches off her usual height. Sometimes he forgot how tiny she really was. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail that just brushed the nape of her neck and Mulder's eyes widened as he caught sight of the piece of medical gauze that covered the area beneath it.

All of this information slammed in to his brain within the space of a couple of seconds, and in the meantime, Scully began to turn in response to the sound of the door opening. Her eyes widened when she saw him. The expression in them a combination of concern, surprise and something else that Mulder couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Hi." He offered weakly.

She took a step towards him then stopped abruptly, her eyes scanning him rapidly.

"Mulder, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be out of bed yet."

Mulder shrugged, his hand groping for the edge of the door that had begun to swing shut, suddenly needing something to hold on to as the room began to tilt crazily beneath his feet. But his fingers grasped ineffectively at nothing more substantial than fresh air and he gave up, hearing the door click closed behind him.

"I needed to see you were okay."

Scully's eyes filled with hot tears that closed her throat and made her conscious of the rapid beating of her heart as his whispered words registered. The knowledge that -- even after what she had done to him, how she had hurt him -- his first concern was for her, hurt her more than she could ever tell him. She didn't deserve his understanding. Not now. Not ever.

She turned away as the tears began to slide down her face.

"I'm fine, Mulder."

And then he realised what that undeniable something he had seen in her eyes had been.

*Guilt*

So much guilt that she couldn't even bear to face him.

He forced himself to take a step toward her, conscious of the rigid set of her body as she kept her eyes fixed on the window ahead. He could see his own reflection in it and knew she could too. Just by the way she tensed he knew she could see him advancing toward her.

"Scully, please."

Somehow he had to get through to her, to make her understand that none of this was her fault, that he didn't blame her even a fraction of how much she apparently blamed herself.

She shook her head from side to side, denying his words. Denying him. Her ponytail swayed gently, the bright flash of color discernable even in the half-light. Her voice when it finally reached him was cracked and strained.

"Leave me alone, Mulder. You shouldn't be here."

And it was enough for him to ignore the pain, to ignore the way her voice seemed to come from far away, to ignore the way the ground was falling away from beneath his feet as he began to bridge the gap between them both. A few feet that suddenly seemed like miles.

And he so very nearly made it. He was close enough to touch her gently with his fingertips before he lost the battle with consciousness and began to fall, crumpling to the ground even as she spun around, her face a picture of anger that he had ignored her words. But as he fell, his eyes fixed on her face, he saw her expression subtly change. In the blink of an eye concern flooded her delicate features and she reached out for him, managing to catch him for just long enough to lessen the impact on his battered body as he hit the floor. And somewhere deep inside him as he hovered on the fringes of consciousness he heard her voice, felt her hands come around his back as she knelt beside him, cradling him in her arms as her tears burned his skin.

<I'm sorry, Mulder. I'm so sorry.>

Her words came from far away, but it was enough. Enough for him to finally let go as darkness enveloped him.

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