Amber my dearest, You are my first born child and I will never forget that.  Mommy loves you so much that it hurts sometimes when I think of how you would be today. If I could turn back time, I would have left your Daddy when I found out I was pregnant, that way you would still be here with me and your baby brothers.  Please know that Mommy did not know your Daddy would hurt you.  I thought he would just beat me up, never in a million years did I ever think that he would take his anger out on you.  I will never see you grow up, find the love of your life, get married, or have children of your own, but I know you are happy in Heaven playing with all of the other little angels.  Please do not forget that someday I will be able to hug and kiss you again.  I can't wait for that moment.  Mommy sends her love and so do Jason and Joshua.  You would love your brothers.  Jason is 1 year old, he has blonde hair and big eyes.  Your youngest brother Joshua is just 3 months, he has brown hair and blue eyes just like you did.  When they get old enough I will tell them about you and then they can celebrate your birthday with me.  Well angel, just wanted you to know that I love you very much and that soon I will be able to hug and kiss you and be the mother I was never given the chance to be.... Love Always, Your Mommy