R Movies
Are you? 17 or older please. I'd prefer that you only read these reviews if you are ALREADY an R-movie watcher, thanks!
Title: The Adventures of Sebastian Cole, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for language and crude sexual references, and for some substance abuse.
First I have to live a little so I have something to write about.
So, for the time being, you're just going to live a little?
No, I'm going to live a lot.
Stars: Adrian Grenier
Status: Obviously, I only watched this thing for Adrian Grenier. He's adorable.
Content: Sebastian's step-father "becomes a woman". Big part of the movie. Nuff said.
Title: All Over the Guy, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content and language
Stars: Dan Bucatinsky, Richard Ruccolo, Doris Roberts, Sasha Alexander,
Adam Goldberg, Christina Ricci
Status: Gay movie, and a pretty good one.
Content: Homosexual propaganda, language, strong sexual implications.
Title: Almost Famous, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for language, drug content and brief nudity.
May I speak with William, please?
He's not here. I think he's in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot? ...Hello?
No, this isn't Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him -- I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know guys, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. You created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, and we're all looking out for him. He's doing a great job, and don't worry -- he's still a virgin. And that's more than I've ever said to my own parents, so there you go. ...This is the maid speaking, by the way.
Stars: Billy Crudup, Frances McDormand, Kate Hudson, Jason Lee...
Status: Interesting look at the "old time" rock and roll bands. I'm sure it's quite nostalgic for those who can appreciate it.
Content: Sex, language, drugs and drinking dealt with often.
Title: Amélie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain), 2001
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content.
Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's.
Stars: Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz
Status: Sweet little French film. More than just a romance.
Content: Nudity, sexual content. I think there was some swearing in French.
Title: American Beauty, 1999
I want to look good naked!
It's okay. I wouldn't remember me either.
IT'S JUST A COUCH!
Well, honey, that's just nuts.
Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT.
Someone pass me the asparagus.
That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches
her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.
Uh, who's car is that out front?
Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I
rule!
Stars: Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening
Status: Unusual. Not the in-depth look at suburban life it was held out
to be; I doubt if the average family has all the problems these people had.
Content: Sex, nudity, adultery, statutory rape potential, murder,
homosexuality,
language
Title: American Pie, 1999
You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Stars: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, Tara Reid
Status: I assume no one expects this to be good acting, and everybody already knows how raunchy it is.
Content: Constant implied, discussed, attempted, whatever sex, nudity, masterbation, language
Title: American Psycho, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for strong violence, sexuality, drug use and language.
Harold, you're my lawyer, so I think you should know... I've killed quite a few people.
Stars: Christian Bale, William Dafoe, Jared Leto, Reese Witherspoon, Chloe Sevigny, Samantha Mathis
Status: Don't let the impressive cast list fool you. Most of those poeple have absolutely no role in this movie whatsoever. It's very much a personal view of this serial killer, played (and played well) by Christian Bale. I'll never be able to watch Newsies the same way again.
Content: I thought it was going to be pretty creepy when he KILLED THE DOG (!!) but then it seemed a little silly (the part where he's running around naked with a chainsaw cracked me up)...but at the end it got creepy again, so whatever. Yes, there's violence, but it's not terribly graphic (of course, leaving it to your imagination can be the worst). Still, this is definitely a horror movie. This guy is MESSED UP. There's also nudity and strong language...and lots of other things I won't list here 'cause shouldn't that be enough of a warning?
Title: Angel Eyes, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for language, violence and a scene of sexuality.
Why does everybody have to rush everything these days?
Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Jim Caviezel
Status: This is a great movie. Jennifer Lopez and Jim Caviezel, both talented actors, are completely absorbing when together. When I realized the director is the guy who did Message in a Bottle, I could see that his potential had been realized in Angel Eyes.
Content: Ditto MPAA. Nothing that major.
Title: The Banger Sisters, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for language, sexual content and some drug use.
I am the same color as the Department of Motor Vehicles and you look like a flower.
Stars: Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon, Erika Christensen, Geoffrey Rush
Status: It has it's funny parts, but it's not exactly a comedy. It's certainly not as witty as I'd expect from Goldie Hawn.
Content: Language, strong sexual implications.
Title: The Beach, 2000
Stars: Leonardo diCaprio
Status: Weird. Pointless. Not very pretty.
Content: Blood, violence, sex, nudity, and Leo goes pretty much nuts.
Title: Being John Malkovitch, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for language and sexuality.
Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.
Stars: John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, John Malkovitch, Charlie Sheen
Status: Well, it's very weird. But it could be likeable... Cameron Diaz gives a great performance. She's so unlike herself!
Content: Strong sexual content, including f/f. Strong language.
Title: Birthday Girl, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality and language.
Stars: Nicole Kidman, Ben Chaplin, Vincent Cassel, Mathieu Kassovitz
Status: I pretty much counted on this movie not being very good, but I didn't care, because it's Nic Kidman. Surprisingly, it's not that bad. Nicole is shockingly believeable as a Russian. It's not particularly deep, but it's refreshingly devoid of all extraneous mushy stuff. I enjoyed it when I needed something different in a not-pretentious way.
Content: Sexual content, language, mild and implied violence, brief and implied nudity.
Title: Black Hawk Down, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for intense, realistic, graphic war violence, and for language.
When I get home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do ya do it man? Why? Just some war junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is.
Stars: Joshua Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, Eric Bana, Sam Shepard
Status: This is just a straight "war episode" film. But it's a good one.
Content: Strong violence and language.
Title: Blade Runer, 1982
MPAA: Rated R for violence.
All they'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us wanted, where have I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got?
Stars: Harrison Ford
Status: I thought this was going to be cool, but instead it was weird. And a little over-complex.
Content: Nudity, graphic violence. And it's kinda depressing.
Title: Blow, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for pervasive drug content and language, some violence and sexuality.
Stars: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Franka Potente, Ray Liotta
Status: I think I love Johnny Depp. He's great in this movie. He looks good, too, during the height of his power there (not so good towards the end..but hey they have to show those consequences, ya know!). This movie is great as far as acting and meaning goes. Even Penelope Cruz can't ruin it (and by the way, I can't figure out why she has top billing. Franka Potente, who I also love, does more for the story --and the horribly underrated Ray Liotta is very important to the story as well).
Content: Lotta drugs (it's about the cocaine king, come on!), lotta sexual implications and some S&M flash-scenes, lotta language, violence.
Title: The Bodyguard, 1992
What's the matter? You afraid I'm gonna get picked off in my snazzy running suit?
No, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to run with you.
Stars: Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston
Status: Somewhat entertaining, but I'm not sure why it was such a blockbuster!
Content: Violence, threatening behavior, stalking, murder (although, don't get me wrong, this is no gritty realism type movie), sexual references, language.
Title: The Bone Collector, 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong violent content including grisly images, and for language.
Stars: Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Queen Latifah
Status: It's amazing, Denzel Washington can play a quadriplegic and literally remain still the whole movie ...and still be downright sexy.
Content: LOTS of blood and clear shots of violent maiming, strong implications of violence, torture, and murder, plus some strong suspense and discussion of suicide, paralysis, and some sexual content.
Title: Boogie Nights, 1997
MPAA: Rated R for strong sex scenes with explicit dialogue, nudity, drug use, language and violence.
Have you seen that Star Wars movie?
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Heather Graham, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, Don Cheadle
Status: Well, finally I understand where Mark and Heather got their buzz. And they can act, both of them. Actually, there's a lotta good acting going on in this movie. The end was a little weird and inconclusive, but, hey, that's life.
Content: Well, it's about the porn biz. Duh.
Title: Boys Don't Cry, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for violence including an intense brutal rape scene, sexuality, language and drug use.
Stars: Hilary Swank, Chloe Sevigny
Status: This was one of those movies I didn't really understand what it was about, so I had to see it. After watching it, I still don't really understand the whole transgender thing, and I liked the movie less and less as time went on. Hilary Swank's performance was perfect.
Content: Strong thematic elements of cross-dressing, transvestites, etc. Nudity, language, f/f kissing, strong, graphic implications of f/f sex, and what the MPAA said.
Title: Braveheart, 1995
MPAA Rating: Rated R for brutal medieval warfare.
Englishmen don't know what a tongue is for.
Stars: Mel Gibson
Status: I think this is one of those movies that gets romanticised into a legend only in your head after you watch it. I also don't understand why people didn't think The Patriot (see below) matched it's greatness.
Content: Lots of fairly graphic violence, even more blood, torture, sexual situations, language, nudity.
Title: Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
MPAA Rating: Rated R for language and some strong sexuality.
I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.
Stars: Renee Zellweggar, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth
Status: I love this movie. I love the book. I love them both (quite the exception). If being almost a modern-day retelling of Pride & Prejudice (I find it hilarious that they cast Colin Firth, Mr. Darcy from the BBC's P & P as Mark Darcy in this movie..and he's great, of course) doesn't get you, then how about the fact that you can watch it without thinking "Jane Austen!" even once? Great acting, fun movie.
Content: Lots of language, sexual scenes and implications, drinking, adultery discussed, and fornication of course.
Title: The Cell, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for bizarre violence and sexual images, nudity and language.
Do you believe there is a part of yourself, deep inside in your mind, with things you don't want other people to see? During a session when I'm inside, I get to see those things.
Stars: Jennifer Lopez
Status: I tend to like Jennifer Lopez movies, so I thought what the heck, I'd try this out even though, as the MPAA explicitly states, it looks bizarre. It's a uniquely interesting idea, but not much more than that.
Content: Graphic violence. Disturbing themes.
Title: Chasing Amy, 1997
It's not who you love. It's how.
Stars: Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams
Status: Actually better than you would think, but it had a lot of c-r-a-p in it as well as a "sad" ending and no moral center.
Content:Homosexuality, homosexuality, homosexuality. Strong language, fornication, graphic sexual descriptions....
Title: City By the Sea, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for language, drug use and some violence.
Stars: Robert De Niro, James Franco, Frances McDormand, Eliza Dushku
Status: Though this film was billed with just Robert De Niro's name, I watched it for Eliza & Franco. James Franco turned in a typical performance, while Eliza was brilliant in her 4 or 5 scenes (also hot). The movie isn't memorable in any way, unfortunately, though the portrayed human reactions were dead-on. The ending leaves many loose strings, though intentionally, so don't watch it if you can't handle that kind of thing.
Content: Lots of drug use and harsh language.
Title: Coming to America, 1988
So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, Eriq La Salle
Status: I'm not exactly into Eddie Murphy, but this has it's funny parts.
Content: Nudity, language, plenty of crudeness and implications.
Title: Conspiracy Theory, 1997
This is gravy for the brain.
This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen.
I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.
It's on the tip of my brain.
Stars: Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts
Status: Unusual and dark. Yet...likeable.
Content: Violent people.
Title: Cruel Intentions, 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong sexual dialogue and sexual situations involving teens, language and drug use.
Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler.
Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Joshua Jackson (small part), Sean Patrick Thomas (small part)
Status: Naughty but fun. Beautiful people (Ryan Phillippe is adorable in this, absolutely drool-worthy). Some excellent performances.
Content: Explicit sexual situations and implications, seduction, homosexuality (including explicit descriptions of and an encounter with male/male sex and explicit scenes of female/female kissing), language, drug use, borderline incest implications, possibly more.
Title: Cruel Intentions 2, 2000
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong sexual content involving teens, and for language.
Rated R for strong sexual content involving teens, and for language.
Stars: Nobody worth a rip.
Status: This one went way beyond the first movie into soft-porn territory. Plus, it's not at all original (most of the dialogue and situations are taken directly from the movie, which this has the audacity to call itself a "prequel" to.)It's disgusting and uninteresting. If the male lead had at least been even a LITTLE cute, it would have been more naughty but instead it's just gross. It's also on my "worst movies of all time" list.
Content: Everything. Nudity, homosexuality (strong female/female sexual implications and kissing scenes), strong language.
Title: Dangerous Beauty, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for some scenes of strong sexuality, and for nudity and language.
No biblical hell could ever be worse than this state of perpetual inconsequence.
Stars: Catherine McCormack, Rufus Sewell, Oliver Platt, Moira Kelly, Naomi Watts, Jacqueline Bisset
Status: DO see this movie. It's as pretty as an art picture, as dramatic as a big-budget film, and understated enough to be just plain good.
Content: Language, nudity, frequent and graphic sexual content, adultery, implied homosexuality.
Title: Dogma, 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong language including sex-related dialogue, violence, crude humor and some drug content.
You people! If it hasn't been made into a movie, it's not worth knowing about, is that it?
I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.
Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.
Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
We're here to pick up chicks.
Excuse me?
We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women.
What's he like? God?
Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor.
Any moron with a pack of matches can start a fire. Raining down sulfur takes a huge level of endurance. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.
Stars: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Salma Hayek, Chris Rock
Status: The Catholic church was in an up-roar about this one, and I can see why. It's more anti-church than anti-God, but it still aims to be offensive, and at the very least it's irreverant.
Content: Lots and lots of language, blood, sexual references, "blasphemous" implications, I could go on and on, believe me.
Title: Donnie Darko, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for language, some drug use and violence.
Gretchen: You're weird.
Donnie: Sorry.
Gretchen: No, that was a compliment.
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Jena Malone, Drew Barrymore, Patrick Swayze, Noah Wyle, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Status: It's natural to try to compare this movie to Harvey, but the two movies couldn't be more different. Don't go into it expecting something light just because of the bunny suit. This is a dark movie. Dark...but interesting.
Content: Disturbing content.
Title: Don't Say a Word, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for violence, including some gruesome images, and language.
Stars: Michael Douglas, Sean Bean, Brittany Murphy
Status: Quite shallow (there were absolutely no surprises) and a little cheesy, but what the heck. Kind of a thriller without the thrill, if you're into that kind of thing.
Content: This girl is supposedly crazy (she seems pretty okay once she "suddenly" decides to open up to the good doctor), and these guys are supposedly killers (why we have no idea), so that makes for a little bit of the bad stuff.
Title: Double Jeopardy
Makes you feel all warm and tingly all over, don't it?
Stars: Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd
Status: Slow spots and loose ends. Still, not that hard to watch.
Content: Violence, language.
Title: [Bram Stoker's] Dracula, 1992
You want to autopsy Lucy?
No no no, not exactly. I just want to cut of her head and take out her heart.
Stars: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Cary Elwes, Bill Campbell, Richard E. Grant
Status: The cast is amazing and they pretty much stuck to the book, except they humanized Dracula. It's a horror/fantasy/sci-fi. Creepy and weird and it would be a little confusing for someone who hadn't read the book.
Content: It's got everything...nudity, language, gore, violence, f/f kissing.
Title: Duets, 2000
MPAA Rating: Rated R for language and some sexuality.
I can't go back to who I was. I'm different now. I sing.
Stars: Gwenyth Paltrow, Scott Speedman, Maria Bello, Huey Lewis
Status: An ensemble about karaoke and human nature. Interesting, but a little slow.
Content: Sexual implications, some violence, and language.
Title: 8 Mile, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong language, sexuality, some violence and drug use.
Stars: Eminem, Kim Basinger, Mekhi Phifer, Brittany Murphy, Taryn Manning
Status: This film does exactly what it intended to do, and it does it well. You can't help but walk away with a lot of respect for Eminem, and actually, everybody in this movie is *good* in this movie. This film does an excellent job of bringing the audience into it's world: both the hip-hop world and the "trailer trash" world. And the music is, of course, good.
Content: A *lot* of language.
Title: Enemy of the State
When buildings start blowing up, people's
priorities
change.
PLEASE let me follow the nanny. She doesn't shave her legs.
Women
like that are so... HOT!
Stars: Will Smith, Gene Hackman, uncredited appearance by Seth Green
(whoo!)
Status: I liked it. Interesting and exciting. Maybe a little too
technical.
Content: Violence, language.
Title: The English Patient, 1996
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality, some violence and language.
A woman should never learn to sew, and if she does know how she shouldn't admit to it.
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Kristin Scott Thomas
Status: I'll just say it's not my kind of movie. Tragic for the sake of being tragic. If you like movies like Wuthering Heights you'll love it. But I do have to say, what was their motivation here??
Content: I don't know how the MPAA managed to forget the nudity. Several scenes of full-frontal (and part frontal..lol) female nudity. Language. Adultery.
Title: Erin Brokovitch, 2000
MPAA Rating: Rated R for language.
Not personal! That is my work, my sweat, and my time away from my kids! If that is not personal, I don't know what is!
Stars: Julia Roberts, Albert Finney,
Status: I don't like the character of Erin Brokovitch at all, but of course Julia Roberts gives anything appeal. She was very good in the movie, and so was Albert Finney but she's the only reason I would recommend it at all.
Content: Language, implied fornication, single parenting.
Title: Everyone Says I Love You
MPAA Rating: Rated R for one use of strong language
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
Stars: Drew Barrymore, Woody Allan, Alan Alda, Julia Roberts, Goldie Hawn, Edward Norton, Natalie Portman
Status: An ensemble, a self-proclaimed musical comedy. The best part of the movie was Drew Barrymore, and Julia Roberts (who can so NOT sing) and Woody Allan do NOT equal a lovely couple.
Content: This is one movie I do NOT understand why it was rated R. I have no idea what "one use of strong language" they're talking about...I'm guessing it was somewhere in the whole "ex-convict" part (which was, I admit, the funniest thing in the rather stupid movie). The only thing I noted for content was the pro- liberal Democrat, very anti- conservative Republican viewpoint (it was far from subtle).
Title: Eyes Wide Shut; 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, language and some drug-related material.
Do you know what's so nice about doctors?
Usually a lot less than people imagine.
Stars: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman
Status: Well, the hype was deserved, if you know what kind of weird-o "psychological journey" type movies Stanley Kubrick loves to make. But it was pretty stupid and not terribly entertaining, unless you enjoy seeing Nicole Kidman's butt and lots of naked women walking around in masks. By the way, oddly enough now that I think about it, there were no naked men in this movie!
Content: Lots of nudity, sexual content, fairly graphic portrayal of a very weird orgy (I think a lot of the scenes were cut but you get the idea pretty easily..lol), drug use, implications of a homicide and adultery. The rating is deserved.
Title: The Faculty, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for violence/gore, strong language, drug use and some nudity.
You're not much into sports.
I feel that a person should run only when he's being chased.
Stars: Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett
Status: I'm not a horror movie fan...or an alien movie fan.
Content: Horror? Gore, blood, possession, violence, drug use, language, nudity.
Title: Femme Fatale, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexuality, violence and language.
Stars: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Antonion Banderas
Status: This movie is stylish, entertaining, and just pretty. It manages to be artsy without being too over-the-top, and for that I like it. Watch the featurettes or watch it twice, and it might grow on you.
Content: Nudity, language, graphic violence, graphic scenes of sexuality.
Title: Fight Club; 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for disturbing and graphic depiction of violent anti-social behavior, sexuality and language.
We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that social emasculation this everyman is created.
We just had a near-life experience!
Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon bleu hobby-kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos. Sample-packaged mouthwash. The people I meet on flights? They're single-serving friends.
With a gun barrel stuck between your teeth, you only speak in vowels.
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Stars: Brad Pitt, Edward Norton
Status: Very, very interesting and very, very violent. Excellent directing and writing and acting could be seen in every scene of this movie. Don't let anybody tell you "the surprise" (there's this whole The Sixth Sense-like discovery towards the end).
Content: Violence, language, sex, graphic nudity. And what the MPAA guys said. Who knew a movie could be rated for being anti-social? (Course, these guys were anti-social in the way that they wanted to destroy civilization...) The rating is deserved.
Title: Flashdance, 1983
Stars: Jennifer Beals
Status: What's with these dance movies? This one's basically a combo of Footloose and Striptease, though probably better than either of its (future) counterparts. Dirty Dancing is still the best of the genre.
Content: Heavy sexual innuendo, nudity, language, suggested violence.
Title: 40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity and language.
I'm not ashamed! I'm embarrassed!
Stars: Josh Hartnett, Shannyn Sossamon
Status: Very fluffy, slightly offensive, a few laugh-outloud jokes, and moderately engaging characters.
Content: Nudity, language, and *constant* discussion of, having of, and joking about sex.
Title: Four Weddings and a Funeral, 1994
MPAA: Rated R for language, and for some sexuality.
Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and..., particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Stars: Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, Kristin Scott Thomas, John Hannah
Status: As someone who doesn't like the entire romantic comedy genre, I try to find something nice to say about any such movie I watch. Unfortunately, this one is quite possibly the worst I've seen yet. I guess I can forgive people for always saying it's wonderful, since it was one of the first things we'd seen Hugh Grant in, and I can understand his overall appeal. I don't like Andie MacDowell or Kristin Scott Thomas (although the latter's character was very sympathetic). I do love John Hannah, but his part in this movie wasn't terribly exciting. The worst part is, this movie bored me. I could not recommend it.
Content: Harsh language, light homosexual implications.
Title: Foxfire (1996)
MPAA: Rated R for teen nudity, drug use, strong language and some violent situations.
Where do you live?
Mostly in my head.
Stars: Angelina Jolie, Hedy Burress
Status: I watched this because I read the book, and, well, it's Angelina Jolie. Sadly, not her best, and not a very good movie, either.
Content: Lesbian innuendo, nudity.
Title: From Dusk Til Dawn, 1996
MPAA: Rated R for strong violence and gore, language and nudity.
Has anybody here read a real book about vampires, or are we just remembering what a movie said? I mean a real book.
You mean like a Time-Life book?
Stars: George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis
Status: After Batman & Robin, I should have known it was indeed possible for George Clooney to be in a movie this dreadful.
Content: Constant strong language, graphic violence, gore, nudity, non-con sexual implications.
Title: From Hell, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for strong violence/gore, sexuality, language and drug content.
Stars: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham
Status: First off, wow, Heather Graham can actually act! Who knew? Okay, this is the story of Jack the Ripper. I wouldn't say it's really horror, more suspense, although there is a lot of blood in it, if that means anything. I guessed who the killer was (even though I don't really know the story), but it's not completely obvious, I guess. There are several plot-contrivances apparent, but oh well, Johnny Depp is good as always. Just a warning (and, really, you should know already, but): no feel-good movie, this.
Content: Graphic violence, gore, language, and sexual implications.
Title: The General's Daughter
MPAA: Rated R for graphic images relating to sexual violence including a strong rape scene, some perverse sexuality, nudity and langua
You're so cute when I'm angry with
you.
Stars: John Travolta
Status: Loose ends. Too graphic for me.
Content: Violence, language, nudity, depictions of rape and bondage,
psychological trauma, murder, suicide.
Title: Gia, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for graphic depiction of drug abuse, strong sexual content, language and some violence.
Where are you going?
You don't have any clothes on.
Don't change the subject.
Dear Book, this is another day in the life. A life is like a book, a book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside. So, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside out? Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a beautiful box and everybody loved her.
Stars: Angelina Jolie
Status: Depressing. Of course Angie is good in it. Isn't she always?
Content: Nudity, language, drug use, AIDs issues, implications of rape, strong homosexual content (including nude f/f "bedroom scenes").
Title: The Gift, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for violence, language, and sexuality/nudity.
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Katie Holmes, Greg Kinnear, Keanu Reeves, Hilary Swank, Giovanni Ribisi
Status: Weird, pointless, a little freaky.
Content: Lotta violence and psychic (and psycho as a matter of fact) "phenomenon", nudity, sexual implications.
Title: Girl Fight, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for language.
Stars: Michelle Rodriguez
Status: Michelle Rodriguez is a great actress. If you're a boxing or indie film fan, you'll want to see this. Otherwise, I can't guarantee you'll like it. If you were interested in it when it came out, you'll see it without my go-ahead, anyway, right?
Content: Strong language, light violence (I guess that's surprising in a way), a messed up family.
Title: Girl, Interrupted, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for strong language and content relating to drugs, sexuality and suicide.
If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional Cinderella.
So, what's your diag-nonsense?
Stars: Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder
Status: Interesting. Angelina Jolie is amazing in it. It's harsh and real and very well done. Not a "feel good" movie, exactly.
Content: Strong language, lots of references to and implied suicide/suicide attempts, explicit talk/implications of sex, lots of references to some seriously messed up familial situations.
Title: Gladiator, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for intense, graphic combat.
Those giraffes you sold me,they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and
not mating. You sold me queer giraffes. I want my money back.
Stars: Russell Crowe
Status: I liked it. The camera work was different and intriguing.
Content: Lots of blood, graphic battle, death, sexual and incest
implications.
Title: Go, 1999
Rated R for strong drug content, sexuality, language and some violence.
Zack: It really didn't go as bad as it could have.
Adam: A girl is dead, Zack.
Zack: I didn't say it went perfectly.
Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother was black!
Marcus: Man, if you were any less black you'd be clear.
Stars: Katie Holmes, Jay Mohr
Status: It's an ensemble, which of course almost always means "different but interesting". This was bizarre but watchable (or at least, watchable once!).
Content: Violence, threatening behavior, stalking, murder (although, don't get me wrong, this is no gritty realism type movie), sexual references, language.
Title: Gosford Park, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for some language and brief sexuality.
Stars: Maggie Smith, Kristin Scott Thomas, Ryan Phillippe
Status: It might be realistic, but it's also really dull. Good acting, good accents, no real payoff.
Content: Sexual innuendo, language.
Title: Gossip, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content including language, and for brief violence.
Stars: James Marsden, Joshua Jackson, Kate Hudson (but..the last two aren't really themselves, if that makes any sense at all...)
Status: Ah! So THAT's why everyone says James Marsden's such a cutie! Um, anyways...it was about what I expected from the ads. Interesting, intelligent, a little soap-opera-y wouldn't watch it again.
Content: Sexual implications, fight scenes, drinking, themes of rape.
Title: Gothika, 2003
MPAA: Rated R for violence, brief language and nudity.
You can't trust somebody when they think you're crazy.
Stars: Halle Berry, Robert Downey Jr, Penelope Cruz
Status: Well, Halle looks good. This is a straight-up thriller, it's spooky and doesn't always make sense, but it does it's job and that is to keep you a little freaked out.
Content: Well, there's a lot. Plus, the supernatural aspect is always questionable.
Title: Great Expectations, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for language and some sexuality.
Nothing harder than being given your chance.
Stars: Ethan Hawke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hank Azaria, Anne Bancroft, Robert de Niro
Status: Weird, kinda boring. I always meant to read the book, but I never have, so maybe if you're already a fan, you'll like it...I really don't know..and, wow, that was Robert de Niro as "the prisoner"? Weird.
Content: For shock value (to try to make the movie more interesting), they tossed in language, nudity, and sexual scenes and implications.
Title: The Handmaid's Tale, 1990
Stars: Natasha Richardson, Faye Dunaway, Aidan Quinn, Elizabeth McGovern, Victoria Tennant, Robert Duvall
Status: Very unique, interesting concept. Kind of freaky. And man was Aidan Quinn *cute*.
Content: A lot. Harsh violence, language, sexual content, disturbing themes.
Title: Harvard Man, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for drug use, language and some strong sexuality.
Stars: Adrian Grenier, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Joey Lauren Adams
Status: I wanted to see this movie from the moment I heard it was Adrian Grenier and Sarah Michelle Gellar. It wasn't worth the wait.
Content: Sex, explicit and continuous drug use (though not portrayed in an "tempting" manner), language.
Title: Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content and language.
Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour?
Hedwig: No, but I love his work.
Stars: John Cameron Mitchell, Michael Pitt
Status: It wasn't as good as I thought. The songs are interesting, but John Cameron Mitchell's charisma is the only thing carrying it. Considering I felt uncomfortable with the character, that didn't make it enjoyable.
Content: Strong language and sexual innuendo. Plus, of course, Hedwig is a transexual or drag queen.
Title: Holy Smoke, 1999
MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong sexuality and language.
You know, you'd be better off crying.
I insult you, so you call me a man-hater!
Stars: Kate Winslet, Harvey Keitel
Status: Gross, weird, somewhat interesting, but not a clear-cut (it's an independant) message or storyline.
Content: Kate Winslet is completely nude for like half the movie. There's lots of language, cultism, graphic sexual discussions and implications, allusions to an affair, cross-dressing, drugs and drinking content, homosexuality (f/f kissing and sexuality AND m/m kissing and partnership), full frontal nudity: female, full posteriar nudity: male. (Wow, it's a real sin pot, isn't it..lol)
Title: The Ice Storm (1997)
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality and drug use, including scenes involving children, and for language.
Ben, you're boring me. I have a husband. I don't have a need for another one.
Stars: Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Christina Ricci, Tobey Maguire, David Krumholtz, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood
Status: When I finished this movie, I could only think, Why do people make movies like this? but I guess the better question would be, Why do people watch movies like this?
Content: A lot of hormones.
Title: Idle Hands, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for horror violence and gore, pervasive teen drug use, language and sexuality.
As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day.
Stars: Seth Green, Devon Sawa, Jessica Alba, Vivica A. Fox
Status: I watched this because it's Seth Green, but it's actually a really great horror movie, because it's hilarious and the characters are well done.
Content: It's still a horror movie, okay.
Title: Interview with a Vampire, 1994
MPAA: Rated R for vampire violence and gore, and for sexuality.
You are a vampire who never knew what life was until it ran out in a big gush over your lips.
Who will take care of me my love, my dark angel, when you are gone?
Stars: Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Kirsten Dunst, Christian Slater
Status: It was worth watching just to see Tom & Brad and then Brad & Antonio making eyes at each other...lol
Content: It was in the horror section for good reason (it's not scary, well, okay, some people could be scared, but it was quite...bloody). These vampires are NOT nice creatures. There's violence, language, gore, nudity (full frontal female), and...some real gay vibes. lol
Title: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for nonstop crude and sexual humor, pervasive strong language, and drug content.
Stars: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter, Shannon Elizabeth, Will Ferrell, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Chris Rock, Marc Blucas, Matt Damon, James van der Beek, Jason Biggs, Shannon Doherty, Jamie Kennedy, Joey Lauren Adams, Alanis Morissette (yes, it's an ensemble; they're not in it throughout okay!)
Status: Why did I want to watch this again? Just to warn you, if you haven't seen some of Kevin Smith's other movies, you could feel more than a little lost.
Content: Didn't your mother ever tell you to listen to the MPAA?
Title: Jerry Maguire, 1996
MPAA: Rated R for language and sexuality.
There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.
Stars: Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jay Mohr, Bonnie Hunt
Status: Well, it's not a bad movie. It's a classic. It has some classic lines. Like, you know, "You had me at 'hello'." (Which Renee Zellweger delivers perfectly.) It didn't "move" me, but maybe that's overrated.
Content: Sexual content, lots of language.
Title: Kill Me Later, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for some language.
Stars: Selma Blair, Max Beesley
Status: I watched this on TV, partly because Brendan Fehr was in it (not at his best and not terribly important). But it was actually kind of cute. I liked Max Beesley, and loved his accent of course.
Content: Very little, actually. Themes of suicide and crime, prostitution (maybe), adultery, implied sex. Language.
Title: Killing Me Softly, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexuality, some violence and language.
Stars: Joseph Fiennes, Heather Graham
Status: This movie is a lot like Original Sin or Birthday Girl, but with a better portrayal of the sexual relationship. Joseph Fiennes was perfect and Heather Graham was very pretty in this. The ending, unfortunately, was not real logical.
Content: Nudity and soft-core porn.
Title: Kissing Jessica Stein, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content and language.
Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Nothing. I'm not.
Stars: Jennifer Westfeldt, Heather Juergensen, Scott Cohen
Status: This might seem odd, but I loved this movie. It's really well done, the characters are incredibly *real*, and they never force the laughs.
Content: It promotes homosexuality, but it has a different perspective on it than most shows.
Title: La Femme Nikita, 1990
Stars: Anne Parillaud
Status: It's a French movie, and it's very well done. Anne Parillaud gives an all-out, sometimes painfully emotional, performance as Nikita. Still, the American Point of No Return is pretty much exactly the same (and..has Gary Sinise..lol), but in English, so I'd recommend that to most of you! I can see why there was enough material here for a TV series and several other movie versions.
Content: Strong violence, language (in the subtitles..lol).
Title: Life as a House, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for language, sexuality and drug use.
I always thought of myself as a house. ...I became what I was meant to be. I built myself a life. I built myself a house. ...I'm on the edge of a cliff, listening. Almost finished. If you were a house, Sam, this is where you'd want to be built. On rock.
Stars: Kevin Kline, Hayden Christensen, Kristin Scott Thomas, Jena Malone, Ian Somerhalder
Status: If somebody had just told me Hayden Christensen wore eyeliner and Ian Somerhalder played a preppy *pimp* in this, I would have watched it a LOT sooner. And while normally I would resent the "dying" theme, in this case I think it was well used. The acting was amazing. It's a good film.
Content: Nudity (butt scenes), strong language, harsh themes, a lot of sexual innuendo and scenes.
Title: Like Water for Chocolate (Como agua para chocolate), 1992
Stars: Marco Leonardi, Lumi Cavazos
Status: It kept my attention, but left a bitter taste. Sort of like the title and some of the plot-enforcing food eaten in this movie.
Content: Graphic nudity, strong sexual implications.
Title: Love! Valour! Compassion!, 1997
MPAA rating: Rated R for graphic nudity, some sexuality and strong language.
Stars: Jason Alexander, Justin Kirk, John Glover
Status: I only watched it because John Glover was in it, honestly. And he wasn't very sexy, even though he played two parts, as twins. He's also pretty much the only man who doesn't have a nude scene in this movie.
Content: They're not kidding about the graphic nudity. Also, it's overtly gay.
Title: Magnolia, 1999
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong language, drug use, sexuality and some violence.
What are you doing?
I'm quietly judging you.
I really do have love to give; I just don't know where to put it.
It would seem that we're through with the past, but it's not through with us.
Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?
Stars: Tom Cruise, Julianne Moore
Status: The beginning is very confusing, and the end is very symbolic (but at least it's out-right symbolic, not that mysterious subtle junk) in a rather cool way that I kind of enjoyed and was weirded-out by at the same time. Tom Cruise was GREAT in this film, he SO should have gotten the Oscar! This movie will have you thinking about it for awhile afterwards.
Content: Plenty of harsh and graphic language, suicide, graphic sexual content.
Title: Malice, 1993
MPAA rating: Rated R for sexuality, language and some violence.
Stars: Alec Baldwin, Nicole Kidman, Bill Pullman
Status: Not bad for it's type. I wasn't terribly impressed by Nicole Kidman in it, and Alec Baldwin is eternally unlikeable.
Content: If you're a fan of Nic's butt, she shows it off several times in this flick.
Title: Mary Reilly, 1996
MPAA rating: Rated R for notable gore and some strong violence.
Would you like to stay for awhile, or has my sense of smell betrayed me?
Stars: Julia Roberts, John Malkovitch, Glenn Close
Status: Wow, Julia Roberts actually CAN act. She's really different in this movie. If you're interested in the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde tale, this is a good psychological take on it.
Content: Violence, sexual implications, blood, language probably.
Title: The Matrix, 1999
MPAA rating: Rated R for sci-fi violence and brief language.
Ignorance is bliss.
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss
Status: Very original, very high-tech, very sci-fi (a few parts were TOO scifi-y for me), very well-done, and very famous. (Anything described with that many "very"s is worth checking out.)
Content: Violence, some...sorta, gore stuff, and weird sci-fi stuff... Plus, there's some strong undertones you could take as either or both New Age and/or Biblical farce. Neo as Savior? I believe, therefore I am? Hmm....
Title: The Mexican, 2001
MPAA rating: Rated R for violence and language.
Man, just tie me up!
I don't have any rope.
So instead you SHOOT me?!
It's the American way.
Stars: Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, James Gandolfini
Status: Two enormous stars, how can you go wrong, right? Unfortunately, Brad and Julia are only in scenes together for a total of about 20 minutes in this entire 2 hour plus movie. That is VERY disappointing, and the movie does move a little slow, but it's not as bad as it might sound. Plus, there was a definite message woven through almost as a sub-plot that "things are never what they seem, different perspectives mean different things, and the truth is out there even if you can't see the whole picture from where you're standing" that made it all worthwhile. Still, half the plot was about this hitman who was gay (he gave advice to Julia's character on getting her "true love" story back together), which I never appreciate, and there were some, just, strange things in there (it was directed by the same guy that did Mousehunt, thank God I didn't know that beforehand! lol) that make the entire plotline feel a little shaky. Oh well. It's STILL Brad and Julia. Even if you feel like you're watching two different movies (one starring her and one starring him), and they both play adorable airheaded characters in their own right. The movie'll most likely grow on you upon repeated viewing.
Content: Plenty of harsh language, some fairly graphic violence (like lovely close-ups of bullet holes), homosexual relations, implication of a man and woman living together outside of marriage.
Title: The Mists of Avalon, 2001 (miniseries)
Stars: Julianna Margulies, Joan Allen, Anjelica Huston
Status: I decided to see the movie and then read the best-selling book, and after just starting the enormous novel, I can already tell a lot of the book was lost in the movie, but isn't it always? (At least nobody gets too old and ugly in the movie.) There was some good acting to be had, and this movie is fairly entertaining, though long.
Content: Sexual situations (including a threesome and incest), violence, idolatry, magic.
Title: The Mod Squad, 1999
MPAA rating: Rated R for language, violence and some sexuality.
Dirty cops, drops at the airport..I feel like one of us should say we're
getting too old for this sh*t.
At least it's not going down in an abandoned warehouse.
Stars: Claire Danes, Giovanni Ribisi, Omar Epps
Status: More plot than character. A definite British bite; very unique
way of unfolding the plot. I might have been more into it if I'd ever watched the
TV show.
Content: Lots of sexual implications, language, violence, murder, and
drug content.
Title: Monster's Ball, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content, language and violence.
I wanna take care of you.
Good. Cuz I need to be taken care of.
Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Halle Berry, Heath Ledger, Sean 'Puffy' Combs, Peter Boyle
Status: The people in this movie are messed up on so many different levels. And I don't think it was particularly Oscar-worthy of Halle Berry, either. And yet still, it's a decent movie: not overdone.
Content: Nudity, lots of other disturbing content.
Title: Mulholland Dr., 2001
MPAA rating: Rated R for violence, language and some strong sexuality.
Just forget you ever saw it. It's better that way.
Stars: Justin Theroux, Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring
Status: Is this what's legendary about David Lynch?-- his ability with atmosphere? Wowza. I have great affection for all the limo scenes in this movie. In every other case, the quote above sums it up nicely. I'm so sick of these long, pretentious indie-type movies.
Content: Nudity, f/f sex and masturbation scenes. Um, gore. Stuff like that.
Title: Murder By Numbers, 2002
MPAA rating: Rated R for violence, language, a sex scene and brief drug use.
You get one life, and whatever you do with it, and whatever is done to you, you've got to face that. You can't pretend it didn't happen.
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pitt
Status: The characters in this movie are surprisingly fascinating. I liked Sandra Bullock's character a lot: she wasn't overdone. This movie was really a lot better than expectations would have you believe; it doesn't slide smoothly into it's genre.
Content: Gore, graphic crime scenes, sexual implications.
Title: 9 1/2 Weeks, 1986
Stars: Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke
Status: Finally I figured out what the deal ever was with Kim Basinger. She is pretty in this movie. I keep hearing how sexy it is, and I guess it is, but other than that, it's a pretty crappy movie.
Content: Strong sexual content and scenes (almost soft porn, okay?), language.
Title: Nurse Betty, 2000
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language and a scene of sexuality.
Three in the head, you know they're dead.
Stars: Renee Zellweger, Morgan Freeman, Greg Kinnear, Chris Rock
Status: Don't let anybody fool you, this is no fluffy girl-in-love-with-a-soap-star movie! Actually, nothing about it is fluff at all. It's quite interesting, but it switches back and forth from fantasy to an extra extremely harsh reality unbelievably fast!
Content: Serious violence -she watches her husband be scalped, okay, and it's pretty graphic (and if you get the DVD, watch out for a certain deleted scene called "The Flap"!), strong more-than-just-implications of sex, and lots of harsh language...plus the whole movie is full of psychos!
Title: "O", 2001
MPAA: Rated R for violence, a scene of strong sexuality, language and drug use.
Stars: Julia Stiles, Josh Hartnett
Status: Well done. Hopefully nobody would expect this to be a "fun" movie, 'cause, it ain't.
Content: See the MPAA.
Title: The Object of my Affection, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for strong language and some sexuality.
Don't fix your life so that you're left alone right as
you come to the middle of it.
Stars: Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd
Status: Disgusting. Even if you could ignore all the gay crap (which you
can't), the story isn't good in any even remotely redeeming way.
Content: Homosexuality, sex (sodomy included), language.
Title: Once a Thief, 1997
MPAA rating: Rated R for some strong violence.
Stars: Ivan Sergei, Sandrine Holt, Nicholas Lea
Status: I'm becoming a true John Woo (director) fan. Great movie. Don't confuse it with 1996's "Brother Against Brother: Once a Thief", because apparently that's something completely different and not worth watching. This is fun action with trademark John Woo (M:I-2) special effects. Plus, plenty of chemistry between certain leading characters. Ivan Sergei (known now from the TV show Jack & Jill) was great.
Content: Nothing too major, actually. Some martial-arts violence.
Title: The Opposite of Sex, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for strong language and sex related dialogue and sexuality.
You've got a death wish. That's so selfish. I have one too, but I direct it toward others.
Stars: Christina Ricci, Lisa Kudrow, Lyle Lovett, Ivan Sergei
Status: Wow, Ivan Sergei is in this too. I'm really starting to like him! This is a rather weird movie, otherwise.
Content: Strong sexual content, language, constant themes dealing with homosexuality, fornication, and rebellion.
Title: Original Sin, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content and some violence.
Love is not for me. Love is for those people who believe in it.
Stars: Angelina Jolie, Antonio Banderas, Thomas Jane
Status: Unique and sensual enough to inspire, flawed enough to resent. Excellent acting, of course. Great camera work. Somewhat interesting concept. If you're not afraid of the nudity, and you like something unique, try it for yourself.
Content: Often criticized for "soft porn" scenes. Judge for yourself. It's also on DVD in it's unrated (as in, would-have-been NC-17) version (bouncing boobs and some rather kinky foreplay). There's also prostitution, m/m kissing.
Title: Othello, 1995
MPAA: Rated R for some sexuality.
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Laurence Fishburne
Status: Othello is a GREAT bad-guy story, and I tend to respect Kenneth Branagh's Shakespeare movies, and Laurence Fishburne's Othello was quite sexy, but this movie just didn't do it for me. I was rather bored by it.
Content: Nudity, violence. (The MPAA is full of morons.)
Title: Out of Sight, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for language and some strong violence.
Is this your first time being robbed? You're doing great.
Stars: George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez
Status: Interesting. Great chemistry. Not exactly loveable, but entertaining.
Content: Violence, language, all that good stuff.
Title: Panic Room, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for violence and language.
Is that Morse Code?
No, SOS.
Where did you learn that?
Titanic.
Stars: Jodie Foster, Kristen Stewart, Jared Leto, Forest Whitaker
Status: Very... simple. A movie, an event, stripped down to it's basic point and to the most relevant details. It left me wishing I could see more of these characters' (the mother and daughter) lives, which isn't bad but it *is* disconcerting.
Content: It's really not a scary movie. Nor mystery. Not particularly suspenseful. Nuff info? Otherwise see the MPAA.
Title: The Patriot, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for strong war violence.
You have done nothing to be ashamed of.
I have done nothing. That is why I am ashamed.
Why should I agree to swap one tyrant three thousand miles away for three
thousand tyrants one mile away?
A shepherd must safeguard his sheep. Sometimes that means fighting off the
wolves.
Stars: Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger, Joely
Fisher
Status: Wow, very well done movie. I had heard that this was a "homeschooling
conservative family" movie, and I can understand where it got that description.
Mel Gibson plays a man who believes in the cause (Americans attempting to break
the hold of the English over them) but only gets involved in the war to protect
his family. His character is a lot more complex than that, and you'll just have
to watch the movie to understand. I also enjoyed watching the relationship
between his son (Heath Ledger, very cute) and him develop. It was unpredictable
and the entire movie was really very personalized (which is why it did so well)
because it focused on the very basic family relationships and motives of the
men fighting that very vital war.
Content: It deserves the rating, there's a lot of
bloody violence (it IS a war movie), and some if it was pretty gross, but
really the rating was not inappropriate, because the movie was more for people
who already understand the priorities Mel's character had set for himself, and
not for the younger set.
Title: The Peacemaker, 1997
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong violence and some
language.
So do you think he set us up?
Who?
Your friend.
No.
How can you be so sure?
Because he's my friend.
Stars: George Clooney, Nicole Kidman
Status: Boring. Not a lot there to hold your interest unless you're a
big "stop the nuke" film fan.
Content: Violence.
Title: The Pillow Book, 1996
MPAA rating: Not rated.
I need writing. Don't ask why. Just take out your pen and write on my arm.
Stars: Vivian Wu, Ewan McGregor
Status: Very unique movie. As far as arty movies go, this is what they should be like. Plus, Ewan McGregor, who doesn't seem to mind showing off his ding-dong, and often.
Content: *Lotta* "nude art". Strong sexual content.
Title: Playing By Heart, 1998
MPAA rating: Rated R for language.
Yeah I know, the flowers are a little much, but I'm late. But only because I had second thoughts about the flowers and threw them away halfway down the block. Then had third thoughts and went back and got them.
Don't look at me with that tone of voice.
Meredith: I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want all this calculated artificiality. This dress, these stupid little bows in my hair, they aren't me. I mean, look at you. You--you don't sit around your house in an Armani suit, do you?
Trent: No. My house is black-tie.
Paul: You're overwrought.
Hannah: I'm perfectly wrought! Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought!
Paul: There's no such word.
Hannah: There is now!
Stars: Gillian Anderson, Sean Connery, Ellen Burstyn, Anthony Edwards, Angelina Jolie, Jay Mohr, Ryan Phillippe, Dennis Quaid, Gena Rowlands, Jon Stewart, Madeleine Stowe
Status: Another ensemble. Some cute lines. Fairly interesting. Kept my interest, anyway. After all, there's Ryan Phillippe and Angelina Jolie to be seen.
Content: Language, sexual themes (lots of them).
Title: Playing God, 1997
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong graphic violence, gore, pervasive language and some drug use.
Thanks for getting shot.
Stars: David Duchovny, Timothy Hutton, Angelina Jolie
Status: Not even Angelina Jolie makes this worth it. This movie's a straight-up blood bath with no purpose, but it has serious delusions of grandeur (listen to the starting monologue and be convinced).
Content: What the MPAA said.
Title: Phone Booth, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for pervasive language and some violence.
Isn't it funny - you hear a phone ringing and it could be anybody. A ringing phone has to be answered... doesn't it?
Stars: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Forest Whitaker, Radha Mitchell, Katie Holmes, Richard T. Jones
Status: Excellent, bare-bones thriller. The camerawork is important, the characters are simple and fascinating. Colin Farrell and Kiefer Sutherland both are amazing.
Content: Violence, language. Mostly language.
Title: Pretty Woman, 1990
I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.
Stars: Julia Roberts, Richard Gere
Status: Please, do I even have to go into it? Okay, so it's a cute movie, and so famous that's reason enough to see it, and it IS very well-done.
Content: Prostitution, duh... language, sex-scenes (no nudity).
Title: The Princess and the Warrior (Der Krieger und die Kaiserin), 2000
MPAA: Rated R for disturbing images, language and some sexual content.
You have to get off. Get off the toilet.
Stars: Franka Potente, Benno Fürmann
Status: This is an intense character drama; unfortunately, anybody watching it expecting another "Run Lola Run" (same director, same star) will be disappointed. This is not action, but I personally was riveted. Tom Tykwer must be a genius, Franka Potente is as great as ever, and Benno Fürmann is, I guess, just another example of German talent. The film is absolutely flawless.
Content: "Butt shot", language, and a lot of nasty stuff that goes on in looney bins, apparently.
Title: Proof of Life, 2000
MPAA rating: Rated R for violence, language and some drug material.
Stars: Meg Ryan, Russell Crowe
Status: Don't be fooled, this was more a movie about the growing rate of kidnap-and-ransom incidents than love story OR action/adventure. Russell Crowe is sexy only so far as how good he is at his job or his Australian accent, Meg Ryan is cute as always, and I think that all the talk about how this movie didn't perform as well because of the Meg & Russell affair going on during it is just a crappy excuse.
Content: Gritty violence, language. I don't consider the "implications of adultery" content because of the way it was handled.
Title: Pushing Tin, 2000
MPAA rating: Rated R for language and a scene of sexuality.
Stars: John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Angelina Jolie, Cate Blanchett
Status: I liked it. But I like the actors in it.
Content: Sexual implications, language.
Title: Quills, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content including dialogue, violence and language.
If I wasn't such a bad woman on the page, I couldn't be such a good woman in life.
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Geoffrey Rush, Michael Caine
Status: This is a naughty movie (with good actors), but, mmm, I love Joaquin Phoenix.
Content: Well, it's about a Marquis who writes pornographic plays, many of which are read aloud, some of which are acted out. There's violence, nudity, language...and a lot of other offensive stuff (especially if you're a Catholic).
Title: Rainman, 1988
I'm gonna let ya in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart
sucks.
Stars: Tom Cruise
Status: Great way to learn to kiss. (Don't ask.) And Tom looks pretty
good in it too. It is a "man with a mental prob" movie.
Content: Sex, language.
Title: Reindeer Games, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for strong violence, language and sexuality.
Just my luck... I finally meet a nice guy, and my
brother wants you worse
than I do.
Stars: Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron, Gary Sinise
Status: Confusing. Kind of exciting, lots of unpredictable twists-and-
turns, but I think they took one too many and made it completely
unrealistic.
Content: Violence, language, sex, nudity.
Title: Risky Business, 1983
It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word.
Stars: Tom Cruise, Rebecca de Mornay
Status: Excellent directing, awful story.
Content: Tons of sex, nudity, and, duh, prostitution (ya know, I think this might have been an attempt at the gritty Pretty Woman script that was never made).
Title: Romeo Must Die, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for violence, some language and brief nudity.
I was afraid prison would make you soft.
People don't get soft in prison.
Stars: Jet Li, Aaliyah
Status: My first Jet Li movie, and it's cool. Aaliyah was actually a good actress, too. Could have had that whole Jennifer Lopez thing going for her. There were a couple fight scenes that seemed a little gratituous, but, come on, that's understandable. The one where he used Aaliyah's body to fight the girl was cool. Oh, and the title confused me..I kept waiting for somebody to call SOMEBODY Romeo...apparently they were just trying to point out the similarities between the stories. Except the couple don't die at the end. Whoops, I spoiled it!
Content: Violence, language, brief homosexual implication/content including nudity and f/f kissing.
Title: The Rules of Attraction, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content, drug use, language and violent images.
I really did try to kill myself... right before I faked it.
Stars: James Van Der Beek, Shannyn Sossamon, Ian Somerhalder
Status: I watched it for Ian Somerhalder. It wasn't worth it.
Content: Everything they could fit without an NC-17 rating.
Title: Run Lola Run (Lola Rennet), 1998
MPAA: Rated R for some violence and language.
Jeden Tag, jede Sekunde triffst Du eine Entscheidung, die Dein Leben verändern kann.
(Every second of every day you're faced with a decision that can change your life.)
Stars: Franka Potente
Status: I've wanted to see this movie ever since I heard about it. A lot of much-talked-about foreign films end up rather disappointing, but this was very cool. High-energy, unique, thought-provoking, to-the-point.
Content: Just what it says.
Title: Secretary, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexuality, some nudity, depiction of behavioral disorders, and language.
Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Why not?
Stars: Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader
Status: They claim this is a story about love through sadomasochism, but it's only a narrow view of the practice. In other words, it's about mostly-nice people who are apparently compelled by quirky personality traits to do things that most people wouldn't understand at all. They find understanding with each other, and that's why it's a love story. I liked it because it's so very much not your average romantic comedy. (And I just loved the cover--the one they ended up putting on the soundtrack, not the one on the DVD.)
Content: Like the MPAA says. The content will be very disturbing to some.
Title: Se7en, 1996
MPAA: Rated R for grisly afterviews of horrific and bizarre killings, and for strong language.
"Excuse me, sir, are you by any chance a serial killer?"
Could you at least sit across from me? I don't want people to think we're dating.
If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.
Stars: Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow
Status: Lemme just ask something, doesn't Morgan Freeman ever get tired of this kind of movie? You know, the suspense/crime type. Still, this is an excellent example. And, ya know, I'm becoming a real fan of Brad. He's cute, he can totally act, and he really captures the character. I kinda knew a little of the surprise ending to this one, but not all of it. It's interesting to see it all happen.
Content: What the MPAA guys say. It very much deserves the rating.
Title: sex, lies, and videotape, 1989
No, it's just-- I-- You know, I just think, right now I have one key, you know, everything I own is in the car, and I just... I like that; you know, I mean, I just-- if I get an apartment, that's two keys, if I get a job, you know, um, I might have to open or close, that's more keys...
Stars: James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher, Laura San Giacomo
Status: Weird, and very interesting...got a little too "mysterious" for me at the end. Excellent acting.
Content: Explicit sexual discussions and implications. Implications of adultery, fornication, masterbation. Strong language.
Title: The Score, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for language.
You gonna let it go or are we gonna drive around angry all night?
Stars: Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Edward Norton
Status: If you're a fan of crime drama or Robert DeNiro, I'm sure this is a good movie for you. I liked Edward Norton in it, I'd say he gave the best performance, but that's just me. I've seen Marlon Brando at his best (and this ain't it), but I've never been a big De Niro fan (shhh!).
Content: Nothing super major. Implications of sex, rough language, and the whole "bad guy" thing.
Title: Shakespeare in Love, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality.
I don't know. It's a mystery.
Stars: Gwenyth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes, Ben Affleck
Status: Well done, interesting, but not a totally "feel-good" movie.
Content: Lots of nudity, explicit sexual implications, language, some
violence.
Title: She's So Lovely, 1997
MPAA: Rated R for strong language and some violence.
Hey Daddy, what are you doing?
Shut up and drink your beer!
Stars: Robin Wright, Sean Penn, James Gandolfini, John Travolta
Status: Pointless. But an interesting view on true love eternal.
Content: Lots of language, sex, violence, rape situation.
Title: The Siege, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for violence, language and brief nudity.
The CIA didn't know the Berlin Wall was falling until the bricks started hitting them in the face.
Stars: Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, Annnette Bening
Status: I don't much like Annette Bening, Bruce Willis wasn't very likeable in this movie, and Denzel Washington, as always, is great. I watched it post 9/11/01, and it was pretty surreal.
Content: For once the MPAA guys got it right. The brief nudity is male, and it occurs in the middle of a scene with strong suggestions of fornication.
Title: Sleepy Hollow, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for graphic horror violence and gore, and for a scene of sexuality.
Watch your heads!
Stars: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci
Status: Quirky horror. Both top-billed actors are extremely talented, and the eccentric character of Icabod Crane and how he's played is the best part of the film. There's still plenty of horror elements to this movie, so if you like horror movies, this is a good one.
Content: Gore, violence -big time. Some sexual scenerios.
Title: The Smokers, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality, violence, language and drug use involving teens.
Stars: Dominique Swain, Busy Philipps, Keri Lynn Pratt, Oliver Hudson, Thora Birch
Status: Uck. Uck. Uck.
Content: As much as they could, but no full nudity. (This one reminded me of Cruel Intentions 2 it was so bad. It must have looked better in print.)
Title: Snake Eyes, 1998
MPAA rating: Rated R for some violence.
It isn't lying! You just tell them what you did
right, and you leave out the rest!
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Gary Sinise
Status: Not exactly suspenseful, and a few too many flashbacks for me.
The best thing about it was that there was no clear-cut good guy/bad guy in
this scenerio.
Content: Lotta violence, blood, language. Implications of adultery and
conspiracy.
Title: Something to Talk About, 1995
MPAA: Rated R for brief strong language.
Consider it a blow for your dignity.
Stars: Julia Roberts, Dennis Quaid, Robert Duvall, Gena Rowlands, Kyra Sedgwick
Status: There's something about Dennis Quaid. I've never been a real fan, but I have to admit, he CAN be sexy. Kyra Sedgwick was, of course, great as the-wronged-wife's (Julia Roberts) sister. Great stars, thus some cute moments, and it wasn't annoying, but overall, not the greatest movie ever.
Content: Language, sexual implications, adultery and divorce themes.
Title: Sorority Boys, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for crude sexual content, nudity, strong language and some drug use.
Is that supposed to scare me?
Stars: Michael Rosenbaum, Barry Watson, Harland Williams
Status: I laughed hysterically the whole way through -the first time. It's completely forgettable if you're not a fan of Michael Rosenbaum's, but if you are, it's so worth it. His portrayal of a "woman" is hilariously good. And, lemme say, Daisy so isn't the pretty one.
Content: All of that stuff above in the MPAA rating. Like, a lot. Very raunchy.
Title: Speed, 1994
MPAA: Rated R for violence and language.
POOR people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric.
Helen: Are they going to help us?
Stephens: Sure they are, they're the police. Hey, your taxes are paying their salaries. We die, they gotta take a pay cut.
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Keanu Reeves
Status: Straight action/adventure, not as developed as later offerings.
Content: Violence (bomb threats, terrorism), language.
Title: Spy Game, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for language, some violence and brief sexuality.
Stars: Robert Redford, Brad Pitt
Status: How can you go wrong with Robert Redford and Brad Pitt? Well, you could, but they didn't. Great movie. Despite the flashbacks.
Content: Violence, mostly. Nothing too shocking.
Title: The Sum of Us, 1994
MPAA: Rated R for strong language and some sexuality.
I'm tired of living in sin with my own right hand.
Stars: Jack Thompson, Russell Crowe
Status: Movies where the characters talk to the audience are annoying.
Content: Gay propaganda. Sexual content, language.
Title: The Sweetest Thing, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content and language.
Stars: Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, Thomas Jane
Status: This movie was kind of all over the place, like a bunch of edgy-comedy scenes stuck together. I thought it was more about girlfriends than about a girl and a guy, though, so that much was cool.
Content: It's like There's Something About Mary with less plot.
Title: Swordfish, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for violence, language and some sexuality/nudity.
Not everything ends the way you think it should. Besides, audiences love happy endings.
Stars: John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle
Status: It was better than I expected. There's some actual plot here, as well as some actual acting. But that still doesn't make it an extra special thriller.
Content: Halle Berry's boobs, sexual innuendo, violence including guns and bombs, and language.
Title: The Talented Mr. Ripley, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for violence, language and brief nudity.
You know, I've always thought it was better to be a
fake somebody than a
real nobody.
Stars: Matt Damon, Jude Lawe, Gwenyth Paltrow
Status: Boring, confusing, pointless, hopeless, and unreasonable.
Content: Violence, language, sex, nudity, homosexuality, murder.
Title: Telling You
Stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt has a small part.
Status: Stupid, and pointless, unless you count them trying to break
some kind of record for how many times you can say the "f" word in one movie.
Content: Lotta harsh language.
Title: Thelma & Louise, 1991
You've always been crazy, this is just the first chance
you've had to express yourself.
You get what you settle for.
Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that,
there's no such thing as justifiable robbery.
Stars: Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Brad Pitt
Status: Black comedy. Kinda fun to watch, actually. Okay, maybe a little
surprising! I'm glad I checked it out to see just what it was about! I didn't
even know Brad Pitt was IN it! lol
Content: Lotta harsh language, rape, fornication, adultery, crime,
murder.
Title: There's Something About Mary, 1998
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong comic sexual content and language.
Who needs him? I've got a vibrator!
Stars: Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon
Status: It's not quite a gross-out comedy, because it IS a love story, and that much is actually rather sweet. I love the very end. See it, you'll laugh, trust me.
Content: Language, lotta sexual innuendo and masterbation, even violence.
Title: The Thomas Crown Affair, 1999
MPAA rating: Rated R for some sexuality and language.
Men make women messy.
Stars: Pierce Brosan, Rene Russo, Denis Leary
Status: Interesting. I love Pierce Brosnan and I really, really, dislike
Rene Russo, and I think this could have been much better with someone else
(although hers was a very unique, complex character), but I liked the movie.
Very unpredictable.
Content: Mucho sexuality and nudity (male and female). Strong
language.
Title: Three Kings, 1999
MPAA rating: Rated R for graphic war violence, language and some sexuality.
The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared sh*tless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.
That's a dumb*ss way to work. It should be the other way around.
Stars: George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube
Status: Great, great movie. The only reason it didn't get more Oscar notice was because people don't want to accept the reality of the situation. Still, it has a good ending. Great acting. Unique camera work. I liked it.
Content: Gore, violence, language, torture.
Title: Threesome, 1994
MPAA rating: Rated R for strong sexuality and sex-related dialogue.
How did we get on the ceiling?
Did you pay the gravity bill this morning?
I forgot!
Stars: Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, Josh Charles
Status: I kind of liked it, actually, because it's not uncomfortably sexy (none of the leading characters are hot..lol). It deserves the R rating, and I always dislike the "college is for experimenting" theme. I doubt if I'd watch it again.
Content: Lots and lots of sexual implications and scenes, language.
Title: Titus, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for strong violent and sexual images.
Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Jessica Lange, Alan Cumming, Laura Fraser
Status: A bizarre, confusing riot from one of Shakespeare's harshest plays. I'm convinced that they made the freakin' movie almost 3 hours long specifically to torment somebody like me who doesn't like to start something and not finish. I think perhaps this is for "artsy types", because the acting was superb. Oh, and Queen Tamora's sons were freaky-hot. Laura Fraser as Lavinia is adorable and painful, as well.
Content: Nudity, language, scenes of rape, violence, murder, and torture.
Title: Traffic, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for pervasive drug content, strong language, violence and some sexuality.
If there is a war on drugs, then many of our family members are the enemy. And I don't know how you wage war on your own family.
Stars: Michael Douglas, Erika Christensen, Benicio Del Toro, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Don Cheadle, more
Status: Oscar always picks the screwiest movies to award. The characters are well done and the motives are believable, but otherwise this movie didn't impress me (and I found the tinted cinematography annoying). Erika Christensen, as the crack-addicted daughter, did stand out for me, but what do people find "hot" about Benicio??.
Content: It's about drug trafficking...
Title: Trainspotting, 1996
MPAA: Rated R for graphic heroin use and resulting depravity, strong language, sex, nudity and some violence.
We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit.
Stars: Ewan McGregor
Status: I've been a fan of Ewan McGregor since he did a guest spot on ER once, and this guy can act. The movie's not average, I sincerely doubt I'll be watching it again anytime soon, but otherwise, it's okay. Oh yah, and, don't read the stupid cover. It makes no sense whatsoever. This is a movie about a bunch of messed up people that are addicted to drugs.
Content: Ditto MPAA, with tag-on: the nudity was more graphic than I wanted to see (full male frontal), the sex scenes are prolonged, and the violence is pretty strong as well. There are some scenes in this movie that could be very disturbing to most people.
Title: True Lies; 1994
MPAA: Rated R for a lot of action/violence and some language.
Her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, Eliza Dushku
Status: I really only watched it for Eliza Dushku (who looks very similar to how she looks even now!), and I dislike Jamie Lee Curtis a lot, but I'd say it's one of Arnold's better, funner flicks.
Content: Violence, language, sexual themes discussed, and Jamie Lee Curtis' painful strip dance.
Title: Unfaithful, 2002
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality, language and a scene of violence.
There is no such thing as a mistake. There are things you do, and things you don't do.
Stars: Diane Lane, Richard Gere, Oliver Martinez
Status: This movie is practically flawless for it's purpose. More intelligent than entertaining, it shows all the signs of a thoughtful mind in it's creator.
Content: Nudity, graphic sexual content and themes. Strong violence and language.
Title: Valmont, 1989
Stars: Annette Bening, Colin Firth
Status: I have a bit of a thing with Les Liaisons Dangereuses -I've read the book and seen all the movie versions. This one is the best one out there, as far as capturing the essence of the book and characters goes. For most of the movie I didn't think they had captured Valmont's character right, but in the end it worked out pretty well. Annette Bening is amazing in this.
Content: Seduction, adultery, fornication, strongly implied and light nudity.
Title: Vanilla Sky, 2001
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality and strong language.
Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
Stars: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Kurt Russell, Jason Lee
Status: I watched this movie prepared for it to be confusing, indie-feeling, and not at all what I expected. An hour and a half into the movie, I thought I'd been right only in thinking it wasn't what I thought, because I was actually liking it (kind of a The Phantom of the Opera remake). Things got weird (more sci-fi than "artsy", and not a very original one at that), and yet somehow it's still not a bad movie.
Content: Language, nudity, violence, disturbing imagery.
Title: Velvet Goldmine, 1998
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, language and drug use.
Ha! Nothing makes one so vain as being told one is a sinner!
We set out to change the world... ended up just changing ourselves.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing, if you don't look at the world.
Stars: Jonathan Rhys-Meyer, Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Toni Colette
Status: Hearing this movie referenced as a "slash fanfiction" was enough to get me to watch it (Ewan McGregor was a definite plus, as well), but after watching it was when I realized that it was supposed to be a bit of a parody about certain music eras I really don't know all that much about. (And, well, I obviously need to read more Oscar Wilde.) Bowie and Iggy Pop characters? All the references went completely over my head. My problem, then, is that I got caught up in the "love story" (such as it was) part of the movie, and the movie was supposed to be about glam rock. Darn it.(Plus, with every movie he keeps popping up in, I'm hating Christian Bale more and more. What ever happened to my Newsieboy?) Anyway, it's still like the best parts of Rock Star and Almost Famous put together. The part I do get is that the sexual revolution is a big part of the story (the green jewel, inherited by the men in the story, gosh that was confusing at first). At least that's something to look for when you're trying to make sense of the story (can you say non-linear?).
Content: I'm amazed that this movie squeaked by with an R rating at all.
Title: The Virgin Suicides, 1999
MPAA: Rated R for strong thematic elements involving teens.
We knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.
Stars: James Woods, Kathleen Turner, Kirsten Dunst, Josh Hartnett
Status: What a bizarre movie. I mean, it was intelligent, and I guess it didn't get too "mysterious just to be mysterious" in the long run, but it was still bizarre. I liked Josh Hartnett in it, although I thought the guy that was supposed to be him as "older" was a joke...I just can't believe Josh Hartnett will ever look anything like that. lol In any case, the book's better.
Content: Suicide. Drugs. Sexuality.
Title: When a Man Loves a Woman, 1994
MPAA Rating: Rated R for language.
Stars: Meg Ryan, Andy Garcia
Status: It's nice and a bit of a tear-jerker the first time around, but it wouldn't really hold your interest the second.
Content: Alcoholism, obviously. Language, sexual implications.
Title: When Harry Met Sally, 1989
What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. It means 'should old aquaintance be forgotten' -does that mean that we should forget old aquaintance or does it mean that if we happen to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
Stars: Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, Carrie Fisher
Status: Very unusual view of love, for a movie. I like that much about it. There are some cute lines, and, of course, it's a classic.
Content: I don't think it deserved an "R" but it's certainly a PG-13.
Title: Whipped, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content and language.
Stars: Amanda Peet
Status: Obviously, I only watched this thing for Amanda Peet. She's adorable.
Content: STRONG sexual content, themes, and scenes, strong and constant language, and the grossness factor.
Title: The Whole Nine Yards, 2000
MPAA rating: Rated R for for some sexuality/nudity and violence.
It doesn't matter how many people I've killed. What matters is how I get along with the people who are still alive.
He's upset. I've managed to upset a mass murderer.
Stars: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet
Status: I LOVED it. It's hilarious, and hip, and doesn't take itself seriously, and there are some great performances.
Content: Language, nudity (Amanda Peet's boobs big time!), violence (cute violence, but definite violence..lol), and of course there's the whole mob scene and hit man thing going on.
Title: Wings of The Dove
MPAA: Rated R for sexuality.
Stars: Helena Bonham Carter
Status: The ads for this looked hot. They were wrong. It's a Henry James story and as a movie it made more sense than with his others (in my opinion), but it's not terribly entertaining by any stretch.
Content: Graphic nudity at the end.
Title: Wonder Boys, 2000
MPAA: Rated R for language and drug content.
Sometimes people just need to be rescued.
Stars: Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire, Frances McDormand, Robert Downey Jr., Katie Holmes
Status: No. 1: Everybody's great in this movie, acting wise (especially Tobey Maguire and Robert Downey Jr.). No. 2: Almost any movie that talks this realistically about writing captures my attention. No. 3: I thought it was just one of those "inspirational" types, but actually, I rather liked it. Could be because Michael Chabon wrote the novel.
Content: Nudity if I remember correctly, homosexual implications, language, adultery, drug use.
Title: Young Guns, 1988
It ain't easy having pals.
Stars: Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Dermot Mulroney
Status: Well...they tried hard?
Content: Graphic violence, strong language.
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Do you hate that I don't rate these?
Notes: These movies are on a seperate page from my other movie reviews because they have been rated R by the
MPAA. View at your own risk.
I do not include (on this or any other page) movies I've only seen the
edited version of, just to be sure I don't recommend something that has
really bad stuff I don't know about in it. That does rule out ALL the movies
I've seen on TV, so it's a bummer, but I like to be careful.
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